Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

USA: The Act of Cultural Imposition Through Street Harassment

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By Nikoletta Gjoni, Maryland, USA, SSH Correspondent

When I recently read about an American woman’s street harassment experiences in India and the negative impact they had on her, I couldn’t help but think about how a) it vaguely reminded me of stories and experiences from my native country of Albania and b) how unsurprised I felt overall reading about RoseChasm’s experiences in a foreign country. Not to say that sexual harassment and lewd behavior doesn’t occur in the good old U.S. of A, but there’s a distinctly different discomfort and fear that courses through you when it occurs in a new place you are unfamiliar with.

People who think street harassment is a form of a compliment driven by attraction are wrong. Street harassment, not unlike rape, is about control. It’s about men claiming their dominance over women and feeling that essential right to comment on or act upon whatever they want. Because boys will be boys.

This can come across as more muted in countries like the U.S. where it is essentially known that no, you cannot just scream out sexually explicit phrases to a passerby or touch someone without their permission. Though today this is general knowledge (or should be general knowledge) in most places a person may live in or visit, the lines become blurred when a society is historically patriarchal to the core, and while women may be respected, they are also kept at a safe distance from men. Just in case.

My country, Albania is steeped in rich tradition, old history, and vast contradictions. Traditionally a patriarchal society with “the man is the head of the house” cliché, it is a country that both honors its women but can easily shame them. Catcalling and whistling is the norm. Being followed for a few blocks by a gaggle of boys is the norm. Being singled out because of your accent is the norm. Most is harmless and amounts to nothing in the end, but sometimes you get the occasional stranger that makes you pick up your step a little bit.

A good family friend of mine (also Albanian) was visiting a few years ago. Out with her mom, aunts, and cousins, she was ahead of the group with one or two other girls. What essentially started out as the “typical” come on (whatever that is) turned into a more frightening experience with the man threatening to take her around the corner and “really show her what he could do to her.” Why? Because she retaliated when he grabbed her while walking by. His ego was bruised and he was humiliated in public.

Forget her humiliation. Forget the fact that she was minding her own business. Forget the fact that had she even noticed him in the first place or made eye contact, grabbing her would still have been a highly inappropriate way to reach out.  Forget the fact that he wasn’t even really interested in her as an individual. Forget everything but the fact that he asserted his dominance over a young woman walking down the street and then became verbally abusive when she reacted negatively instead of just walking on.

Is this experience special to Albania? Of course not. One of the first things my friend told me after sharing the story was: “I wished then I had my pepper spray with me.” She’s Albanian, as am I. But we haven’t been raised there. We didn’t grow up with the casual mentality that “girls ask for it” when they dress a certain way, speak a certain way, or act a certain way. And when they don’t—well—just keep on walking and don’t give the perpetrator ammo.

It was a little jarring to see just how often I would get hassled, for one absurd reason or another. And the fact that I didn’t know just how to respond (or whether to respond at all) was what added to the frustration. I am Albanian by blood, traditions, and rearing, but I was a stranger to the minute details that made someone quintessentially from there. And all I could think about was how this kind of behavior just doesn’t happen in the States—a common misconception about the sleek ‘modern’ world vs. everything else that’s old.

But it does happen in the States and it certainly does happen in Washington, D.C. Maybe not to me, not all the time, but to others it does.  What we have going for us here is that there is a cultural awareness slowly growing. There are programs, sites, people, and places one can refer to for help. We are becoming better at practicing bystander intervention. RoseChasm didn’t have that luxury in India and there are still so many places in the world that don’t understand the damage caused by victim blaming.

Albania, too is slowly getting there, though it is stuck in a crevice found between tradition and modernity. For all its collective machismo and testosterone driven decision making, it is a beautiful country with much to learn from. I just hope next time I go there will be one less car slowing down on the street just so heads can come out of the windows to whistle and gawk.

Nikoletta Gjoni graduated from UMBC in 2009 with a B.A. in English Literature. After graduation, she did almost four years of freelance work in a D.C. broadcast station, in addition to having worked as a literacy and linguistics assessor for pre-k classrooms in D.C.’s charter schools.  To get to know her better, she can be tracked on both her creative blog and Twitter, @nikigjoni.

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USA: Interview with Burlesque Dancer Fancy Feast (Part 2)

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By: Maggie Freleng, NYC, USA, SSH Correspondent

I met Fancy Feast, a two and a half year burlesque dancer and sex educator, at Murray Hill’s annual Miss Lez Pageant, , an alternative beauty pageant for queer womyn. In part one of my interview with the fearless, fierce Feast, she explained how burlesque is a way for her to dictate how she feels about herself and her body in a positive way to combat the powerlessness she feels being harassed on the street.

In continuation, she explained how herself and many other burlesque dancers are frustrated they are not able to perform their sexuality in non burlesque settings. For example, not having to be concerned with covering up on the street and feeling comfortable and safe no matter what they are wearing.

“Burlesque is always going to be safe and comfortable for me, it offers an outlet to experience joy and pleasure with my body in a public way without fearing violence and reproach.”

Fancy Feast explained a recent incident in the burlesque community where a male fan posted on a burlesque dancers status that she should take unwanted comments as a compliment because she’s beautiful person and should be flattered by the attention.

“Performers analyzed and dismantled the ways this person was thinking…anybody who can’t separate a sexualized performance from the rest of one’s daily experience is really oversimplifying things,” she told me.

“The two experiences are not at all to measure and the two come with their own different set of rules. I am very lucky to work in an industry where there are so many extraordinary people in charge of their own images and own sexuality who are able to call the shots when it deviates from that.”

In Part 1 of the interview, I explained Fancy Feasts nickel idea –setting aside a nickel to be donated to anti-violence shelters every time she is street harassed — as a way for her to mark these constant occasions and make sure something good can come from the bad.

Fancy Feast explained the time she saw NPR was doing a show on street harassment and were asking for individual stories. Fancy Feast thought this was ridiculous.

“It was a way of saying that there was just one experience that stood out when really it is so continual,” she said.

So she wrote to NPR:

“I wish I had “a story” about being harassed on the street, as if it were some kind of discrete experience that stands out as exceptional. It’s not like that. Men say things to me all the time. I’m hot or I’m fat but they’d fuck me anyway, they’d tear me up or hit it from the back. Men touch me too. With their hands, their eyes, erections pressing into my back on crowded subways or clubs. It takes only my most primitive brain to discern what is a compliment and what is not. The men who presume otherwise, saying that women ought to be flattered by these behaviors, assume women to be simpleminded enough not to tell the difference. The difference between “Hey, awesome necklace!” and “You look good enough to get raped.” But the other thing is: don’t compliment me. Interrupting my day to tell me that you like the shape of my dress or the body underneath it asserts that your opinion about me matters. Interrupting a woman to comment on her body or sexuality reinforces that she has no right to public space, to move freely and without comment. The men who assume I will be flattered by sexual remarks from strangers do not understand the reality of living in a woman’s body, the implicit and explicit threats we experience, the keys poised between our knuckles on the way home — just in case.

I wish I had “a story”, but I have thousands, and they get lost or metabolized in the space of a day.These days I set aside a nickel for every time I am harassed on the street. I wanted something to mark the occasion, to not let it simply vanish. I’m donating that money to a women’s anti-violence shelter, so something good can come from something ugly.”

NPR never responded to her story. However, Fancy Feast didn’t write to have her story told, she just wanted to let it be known that for so many people harassment is not just one story, it is a collection of daily, life-long experiences that we just learn and are told to deal with and take as compliments.

We shouldn’t have to deal with street harassment–it needs to end. But in the meantime, while we patiently wait for legislatures and society to finally realize we are suffering, we will find other ways to  to reclaim our bodies and sexualities how we want them to be perceived.

For some of us, that is being an over-the-top sex-kitten in a leather harness shaking it on stage.

Maggie is a Brooklyn based freelance writer and photographer focusing on social justice and women’s issues. She currently writes for Vitamin W. Maggie graduated with a B.A in Journalism and English from the University of Massachusetts, Amherst in 2011, concentrating on dystopian literature. You can read more of her writing on her blog or follow her on Twitter, @dixiy89.

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USA: Don’t Tell Me to Smile

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By Angela Della Porta, SSH Correspondent

By Tatyana Fazlalizadeh

I don’t get it – why do men want me to smile so damn much?

I have two states of being: laughing at something hilarious, and Bitch Face, which is really just a neutral face that means nothing hilarious happened. I, personally, don’t use the word “bitch,” but it is the most common description of this phenomenon. Now, I always thought that Bitch Face was something I had to do intentionally, like when I don’t want someone to sit next to me on the bus or I want to show someone who was rude that I don’t appreciate their comments. But, I’ve learned that Bitch Face is what I look like neutrally, and I’ve accepted it. Not everyone has gotten to that same level of acceptance.

Men of every age seem to be so bothered that I don’t constantly look ecstatic. Their obvious grievance with my face is enough to intensify Bitch Face, but often they take it one step further – they tell me to smile. For all you dudes who can’t stop telling women to smile, you should probably know:

1. Women are not dogs. They don’t sit and lay and smile on command. They don’t want your treats, so please stop with the commands.

2. Women, just like everyone else, have a wide range of emotions. Perhaps a woman is angry and upset. Perhaps she is not. It’s none of your business which emotions women have, feel, or display, and nobody asked your permission to feel their feelings because nobody wasn’t seeking it.

3. Women don’t smile at every moment of neutral feelings. A woman may not be upset at all; she may be feeling nothing particular. However, women are not constantly wowed and amazed with the world around them, broadly smiling at streets, traffic lights, and each and every person who crosses their paths. The world is not pure, bewildering bliss to all women. If it’s a normal day, the average woman won’t be spending all 24 hours smiling.

4. If you see a woman looking less than pleased, it’s likely that someone just harassed her on the street. If not, she may be considering the alternate route she took to her destination to avoid some asshole who usually harasses  her on the street. Nether make most women too smiley.

Plus, can you imagine the reverse? Can you imagine a world where women approach men they don’t know and demand they feel and act a certain way? Doesn’t it just sound silly? And that’s what leads me to my initial question – why do men want me to smile so damn much? Does my smiling face brighten their day? (I’m not here to brighten anyone’s day.) Maybe. My theory is that is has less to do with my facial expression and more to do with a need to assert one’s power and dominance that male privilege affords them.

So the next time I hear, “Come on, why don’t you just smile?” I’ll continue on my way, making whatever face I want, and that might just make me smile… a little.

Angela Della Porta is a recent graduate of Clark University in Worcester, MA. She will join with Teach for America in Detroit in the fall. Until then, she’s spending her time in rural Maine. Follow her on Twitter: @angelassoapbox

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India: Public Transport, Private Harassment

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By Pallavi Kamat, Mumbai, India, SSH Correspondent

The most common and recurrent form of street harassment encountered by any woman in my community is when she chooses to take the public transport. In Mumbai, where I live, tens of thousands of women choose to travel by public transport where distances between one’s residence and one’s place of work/study are significant. Though Mumbai is by and large a safe city and women can travel at any time of the hour by the public transport, it is not completely immune to the phenomenon of street harassment.

When I speak of public transport, I refer to transport by the local bus, train, autorickshaw or cab. Let me elaborate each mode separately and in detail.

In Mumbai, the local buses are almost always crowded, especially during peak times. Though the first five seats are reserved for women, it is no guarantee that a woman who boards a bus will not be harassed. Often, due to the crowd, she is subjected to groping. I have experienced this: a man sits next to me on one of the unreserved seats and tries to fondle or grope. Other than remaining silent, I frankly have no other option. The most I do is get up and go find a separate seat or stand.

A survey conducted by We The People Foundation in early 2012 found that 80% of women in Mumbai faced sexual harassment with the maximum cases taking place in crowded areas such as trains and railway platforms.

One huge advantage of the local trains in Mumbai is that they have separate compartments for women. In addition, there are also ladies’ specials trains being run at specific times. Despite this, women continue to face harassment as they board the daily train. This could be in the form of the men’s compartment adjacent to the women’s compartment from which there is catcalling and verbal harassment. Often times, as a train stops at a particular station, the men on the platform pass lewd comments and whistle at women. Harassment also exists in the form of snatching of purses and bags of women who are perched on the entrance of the train as it approaches a station for alighting. The Central Railway has registered 215 cases of sexual harassment in January-2013 and 314 cases in February-2013.

Compared to the buses and the trains, travelling by autorickshaws or cabs seems safer since it is like a semi-private travel. However, both these modes are not completely harassment-free. Many times, when the rickshaw or the cab is stationary at a signal, men on bikes peep inside and pass comments or point fingers and giggle. There have also been instances of bikers snatching gold chains from female commuters in cabs or rickshaws.

Sometimes, the auto/cab driver has tried to molest the woman passenger. To deal with this menace, women-only cabs (such as Viira Cabs, Mumbai Gold Cabs, Priyadarshini Taxi Service, etc.) have been launched in Mumbai and heartily welcomed by women commuters especially when travelling during odd hours of the day or night. Additionally, when a woman hails a cab from the domestic/international airport, a police official notes down her phone number with her destination and the number of the taxi for security reasons.

While women continue to experience varied forms of street harassment, the important thing is not to get dejected or depressed but continue to find ways and means to deal with it. These could be in the form of raising an alarm, filing a complaint or helping out a woman in need. It could also be in the form of working with the local authorities to make public transport safer and enjoyable for women. Women have as much right to public transport as men and there is no reason why any form of harassment should discourage or scar them from using it.

And it is equally critical for men to pitch in as well. After all, a woman being harassed is somebody’s mother, daughter or sister. Both genders need to work together to eliminate the monster of street harassment specifically in public transport.

Pallavi is a qualified Chartered Accountant and a Commerce Graduate from the University of Mumbai, India, with around 12 years of experience working in the corporate sector. Follow her on Twitter, @pallavisms.

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UK: Harassment – and Worse – at Music Festivals

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By: Levi Grayshon, Manchester, England, SSH Correspondent

Kate Nash, photo by Alice Baxley

Sometimes, being a woman with an interest in music can be difficult. From being a fan to being a musician, you often find yourself doubted, harassed, and disrespected.

Whenever I wear a t-shirt of a band such as Joy Division, I’m am always approached by men who doubt my knowledge of the bands, and who feel the need to tell me about that time they saw them play at Eric’s in Liverpool, how they remember when Closer was released, or even worse, start quizzing me on what tracks I know.

The assumption that I have to prove that I like a band, just because the fanbase is predominantly older and male, is sexist, simple as that. Constantly having to prove yourself, as a music fan, is tiring and frankly, I am sick of it.

The sexism, however, doesn’t stop there. One of the main places, where I feel under threat as a female music lover is at festivals and gigs. Don’t get me wrong, I adore festivals. Most of my favourite moments have taken place at festivals, from seeing The Libertines reunite at Leeds in 2010, to being on the barrier gazing up at Ryan Jarman getting carried off stage at possibly one of the most exciting shows that The Cribs have played, just this month at Y Not Festival.

Festivals are amazing, but there can be a downside to them.

An example – the group queued behind me and my friend to get into Y Not Festival behaved grossly. Every time a young woman who weighed less than 12 stones wearing shorts walked past, they’d loudly discuss her figure, shouting “nice arse!” and sniggering.

My friend and I were left alone by them, thankfully, probably because we both kept sighing, rolling our eyes in disapproval and tutting at everything they said. Either way, their behaviour was gross and highly unnecessary.

Another time, we witnessed a group of “LAD”-types chanting, “I, I Will Tear You Apart!” at girls and women walking around the campsite. What a way to completely destroy a beautiful song and use it for your misogynist bravado, fellas.

What is perhaps more shocking is the fact that these incidents happened at the calmest, most friendly festival that I have had the pleasure of attending. Even more shocking than that is that this behaviour is seen as normal. Fun. A laugh.

Recently, this article was published on Thrash Hits, where Tom Doyle discussed what he witnessed in the crowds this year at Download festival, where young women who sat on men’s shoulders for a better view were pressured into flashing their breasts both by festival-goers and camera crew.

Unfortunately, this behaviour is not a one-off – I saw it happen again and again both times that I attended Leeds Festival. What’s worse is that the young women are usually booed when they refuse,  and even worse (yeah, it gets worse) is that some have had their shirts pulled down/lifted up. Sometimes even by “friends” (if a friend is willing to do that to you then newsflash – they are not your friend).

On Twitter, I asked for friends and followers to share a few stories of incidents at music events. Tales included being groped in mosh pits, being touched inappropriately, and more violent cases such as being assaulted in the form of threats and hair pulling. Seeing and hearing, and being at the receiving end of this kind of abuse highlights the fact that environments such as gigs and festivals are still very much a “boys club” and that women are about as welcome as a faulty speaker. Here are just a few of the tweets that I received:

However, it’s not just music fans who suffer from harassment at performances. Many artists that have unfortunately experienced this include Courtney Love, who had her dress ripped from her, when crowd surfing, as well as having someone attempt to sexually assault her in a much worse way, Kate Nash, who was groped at her gig, and managed to call out the perpetrator, and both Beyonce  and Florence Welch have come under attack. Florence was reduced to tears.

When watching Paramore play at Leeds festival, a man in the crowd repeatedly shouted to Hayley Williams that he was in love with her, and asked her to marry him, which was laughed off by the crowd. When young girls scream this sort of thing at One Direction, it is viewed as hysterical, so why is it funny for a grown man to behave in this way – it is really necessary for a “fan” to do this to an artist? And is it really necessary for fellow music fans to treat each other so badly?

Levi graduated from university with a degree in Film and TV screenwriting this summer. As a freelance writer, she has been writing for The F-Word and Gamer-UK. You can follow her rants and ramblings on Twitter, @part_heart.

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