Stop Street Harassment

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Germany: The On-Going Sexism Debate

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By ProChange member Malaika B., SSH Correspondents

For the last few days in Germany, the “sexism-debate” has been all over the media and social media networks, like Twitter.

What I’ve been asking myself those days: Why is there even a debate about it? What can be so “debatable” about sexual harassment that it’s being covered in all kinds of TV-Talkshows and newspaper-articles?

Don’t get me wrong: I’m all for talking about street harassment and sexual harassment experiences of all kind and making it a public issue. What I don’t get though is, why is there a discussion about it?

If a person sexually harasses or assaults another person that is plain wrong. End of story.

Shouldn’t it be a given (a matter of course) that you just don’t do that and that we should be empathic and supporting towards the victims? And no, sexual harassment is NOT the same as flirting and it’s also NOT a short gaze. And no, it’s not hard to not sexually harassing other people.

It’s not sexist against men to want sexually harassing behaviour to stop. However it IS sexist against men, to assume men would be to stupid to recognize the difference between flirting and sexual harassment or to expect that men just can’t help themselves from sexually harassing women (especially if they’re drunk or the women is dressed a certain way).

I believe in men and I believe that they in fact can do better than that. I believe that they are more than just creatures led by their “basic instincts.” It really isn’t that hard to not engage in sexual harassment and I believe men can do that (in fact I even personally know men, who’ve never sexually harassed anyone).

What is sexual harassment?

Sexual harassment are inappropriate comments, which reduce someone to their physical appearance comments that degrade and humiliate the other person. Sexual harassment is groping another person. Sexual harassment is behaviour that is degrading, dominating, hurtful, threatening or insulting behaviour. Flirting with someone is none of that.

Flirting is consensual. The purpose of a flirt is not to make the other person feel ashamed, degraded, or threatened. Sexual harassment is abuse of powers and domination. It has absolutely nothing to do with consensual flirting and those two things can not be mixed up (?). Men (or women for that matter) do not harass on accident, they do perfectly know what they’re doing.

There are two arguments that I heard a lot during the ongoing debate:

1. “Well why doesn’t she just fight back then?”

There are many reasons why victims of sexual harassment or sexual violence do not fight back: Shame, freezing in shock, or being dependent on that person. It’s perfectly normal to freeze out of shock in a situation of sexual harassment or assault. If your body reacts with freezing there is physically no way to react to the situation. Fighting back after the freeze wears off might also be difficult for a couple of reasons: The person attacked, doesn’t know the attacker (for example in a classic street harassment scenario or if it happens in a Club/a Bar). Till the victim is ready to fight back, it might already be to late as the attacker might already have left.

But even if the victim knows the harasser, there might be incapable of doing anything against them, out of shame. (Feeling ashamed after the attack, is a very common psychological reaction among victims of sexual harassment or sexual assault). Another reason for not fighting back might be that the harassment happens in the work place and the victim is scared to lose their job, if they say something.

The victim also needs some time to realize and process what just happened to them. Living in a society, where it’s common for people to belittle experiences of sexual harassment does make it anything but easy to realize „what just happened to me was in fact sexual harassment“. This debate shows once more that we all live in a rape culture, in which victim-blaming has become kind of the norm. This unfortunately so common way of thinking makes it quite hard for victims to not blame for what happened to them.

But let’s just say the victim does find a way to fight back. So? Is that question of fighting back or not fighting back even the point? Why are we focusing on the victim’s behaviour? Shouldn’t it be a given, that the person who did wrong, is NEVER ever the person who fought back or not fought back, who dressed a certain way, or who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The one who did wrong and who is the only one to blame for the situation is ALWAYS the person who harasses, who crosses boundaries that should never be crossed. His behaviour should be examined and questioned and not the behaviour of the victim. Why do people keep asking what the victim could have done different instead, including putting even more shame and blame on them? Rape is caused by rapists and sexual harassment is caused by people who harass – but not ever by the victim! Anyone who says differently, does not only have the actual facts wrong, but also hurts the victims of harassment and assault even more.

2. “#outcry turns all men into perpetrators”

If there are people out there, who are brave enough to talk about their experiences with sexual harassment, how could that in possibly attack a whole gender? If all, those stories attack only the one person who did wrong in the situation: The person who harassed. How could anyone feel addressed or offended by something they didn’t do?

This whole debate is not at all about “Men vs. Women.” Of course men can get sexually harassed or violated, too. And of course sexual violence against men is just as bad as it is for women. #Outcry is also a platform for male and trans* victims. They are just as much invited to talk about their experiences on there as women. How could the argument „men can get victimized too“ be an argument against #outcry? Shouldn’t it rather be a source of motivation to fight side by side against sexism and sexual harassment?

Nevertheless it is still correct to say that men don’t know female every-day reality (as said by Anne Wizorek in the talk show “Günther Jauch”).

Please don’t get me wrong, the following is not supposed to belittle attack against men – as said before, there are just as bad as violence against women is. Yet it is a matter of fact that statics show women at a much higher risk of getting sexually harassed, assaulted, or even raped. (Almost) every woman has or will be experience sexual harassment at least once during her lifetime. A lot of women do in fact experience this on a day-to-day-base.

For us women, the danger of becoming a victim of sexual violence is always present. We think about whether or not, we can walk around certain areas alone at night. If we’re walking outside after dawn, we keep looking behind us wondering if the guys happening to walk behind us might present a danger or not. If we’re in a club or a bar we are careful to never let our drinks out of sight. If we’re on the dance floor we always got our eyes on all the guys dancing close to us to monitor if anyone might get too close, yet we still gotta expect that every time we go out dancing someone will either get too close to us/touch us or our girlfriends. When we use public transports, we always consider which seat to sit on, would minimize our risks of getting sexually harassed.

Being in public we always are careful not to look someone to long in the eyes so that the other person doesn’t confuse it as some sort of signal or invitation. When we’re out in public we always screen our enviroment, we got our cell phones easy to reach. At night we walk the longer route just to be safe. If we’re in a club/public transport/on the street at night (and sometimes at daytime too) we are always on alert. We know the anxiousness and the panic, the sound of steps behind us can cause. For us the danger of becoming a victim of sexual harassment/assault/rape is always present in our minds.

And even if we are being careful and if we’re being on alert all the time, we can still not prevent that we get groped, that we’ll get degraded by inappropriate comments, that we’ll get threatened and harassed. All those many guys, who grope us, who try to kiss us, who don’t accept a „No“, who will whistle at us on the street, who will comment our touch our breasts and behinds while casually passing us on the street, those who scare the heck out of us, those who make us feel dirty, ashamed and humiliated, those who might eventually go even further than that, all those guys are part of our daily lives. Every woman who happens to go to clubs, who happens to just walk along a street, ride a bus, go to work, knows this guys and knows this feeling.

And that should be the real scandal: That women (and men) still have to face those kind of situations (all the freaking time). That there are people out there who sexually harass other people. That there are people who think they have the right to cross boundaries, the right to attack the physical and emotional integrity of another person. That is what should appall or shock us all. And we should encourage those, who are brave enough to break their silence about the horrible things that happened to them.

Instead of doing so, people jump to the defense of the attacker, there are all those talks about what the victim should do or should’ve done differently, and actual experiences of sexual harassment are being belittled.

Seeing and hearing the responses to the ongoing debate does already provide the answer to the question of whether or not we have a problem with sexism in Germany.

The German-based group ProChange is comprised of women from Dortmund who are activists for women’s rights.

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USA: Challenging Sexism with #NotBuyingIt

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By: Erin McKelle, SSH Correspondent

Street harassment, unfortunately, is a universal experience for women. In an informal survey conducted by Stop Street Harassment, 95% of women reported being leered at and having been honked or whistled at while 81% have been the targets of sexually explicit comments and 82% reported being the targets of vulgar gestures. This tells us that street harassment happens to virtually all women. Women are being violated in our streets every single day.

For some reason, we don’t seem to be all that concerned. Street harassment is not well recognized as a problem and is even talked about as being a reward for beauty or attractiveness. Recently, Mayor Bloomberg of New York City was quoted as having commented on a woman he found attractive at a holiday party, stating “Look at that ass on her.” Also, in 2001, a book was made as a kitschy present for Bloomberg’s 48th birthday which featured some of his most infamous quips. One of those was in regards to street harassment “ I know for a fact that any self-respecting woman who walks past a construction site and doesn’t get a whistle will turn around and walk past again and again until she does get one.”

The fact that a highly respected figure can make comments like this and be revered for them by co-workers is astounding. Do you think comments like this would ever be tolerated in regards to rape or abuse? Why is street harassment treated so differently, as if it’s a joke or comic relief? There is nothing funny about women experiencing harassment as they are simply going about their day-to-day lives. There is nothing funny about women having to endure such behavior.

All of this comes back to the fact that women are seen as sexual commodities. Their bodies are men’s to behold and if you’ve got it, well, you deserve it. It doesn’t matter that you have a turtleneck sweater on; because you have large breasts its men’s right to gawk and make lewd comments…at least that’s what society says. Society tells men that women’s bodies are there to be ogled and that objectification is completely normal and even part of being a man! Reducing women to their body parts (especially the sexual ones) is how men are; they are visual, after all!

It’s attitudes like these that perpetuate street harassment. It’s also attitudes like these that perpetuate sexism, sexual violence and degradation. When we reduce women to a part of their body, we take away the human part of them. They no longer become a person worthy of respect and human decency; they become a mere object to be played with. Their feelings, emotions, thoughts, ideas and convictions don’t matter because they are no longer viewed as fully human.

Because objectification is such a cultural norm (just take a look at some advertisements), these attitudes are normal. And because these attitudes are normal, street harassment is the norm. It’s also because of this normalcy that we don’t see the issue as a problem. That’s really at the heart of why we don’t talk about it. It can be made light of because it’s not seen real issue. That is why we have to work to call out injustice that we see and not tolerate it. This also means we can’t tolerate objectification and sexism in the media.

If you are interested in calling out advertisers for sexist and objectifying advertisements, then join Miss Representation on Super Bowl Sunday for their #NotBuyingIt Twitter campaign, in which they are going to be calling out sexism in ads that will be running in between game time. Simply watch the game, pay attention to the ads and when you see something you feel is sexist, send out a tweet to Miss Representation and the company with the hashtag #NotBuyingIt.

Campaigns like this are inspiring change in our world! Join in, take part and use your voice to end the attitudes and normalcy that cause street harassment to be silenced!

Erin is an e-activist and blogger based in Ohio. You can find more of her work here and here.

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USA: NYC Mayor has a Sexism Problem

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Image via Hollaback!

By: Talia Weisberg, SSH Correspondent

Since Michael Bloomberg has been mayor of New York City, my hometown and current city of residence, since I was seven years old, he’s the only mayor I can really remember. Ever since I was able to form an opinion on Bloomberg, I’ve felt pretty neutrally about him; I had never heard of anything he’d done that made me squeal in delight or gasp in horror.

As a result, I was really taken aback when I read that Bloomberg had said, “I know for a fact that any self-respecting woman who walks past a construction site and doesn’t get a whistle will turn around and walk past again and again until she does get one.” It was recorded by Bloomberg LP employees in The Portable Bloomberg: The Wit and Wisdom of Michael Bloomberg, a 1990 book dedicated to record the mayor’s more memorable comments.

I had to read the quotation twice for its actual meaning to set in. At first, I was confused; is he trying to say that women will purposely walk past construction sites, even multiple times, to garner attention from the workers there? No, that can’t be, I must have read that incorrectly. Everyone knows that women don’t like that, that women will cross the street to avoid construction sites and the unwanted comments that often come with them. Then I read the quotation a second time and realized that my eyes hadn’t deceived me.

It’s so upsetting to find out that the man who has led my hometown for the past decade is so insensitive to street harassment, an issue so close to my heart. Bloomberg made it seem like women want and even vie for the chance to be catcalled. In reality, the polar opposite is true: women feel unsafe and humiliated and just plain grossed out when they are harassed on the street. I daresay that few people would go out of their way to have such an experience.

Upon doing research on Bloomberg’s history with sex discrimination, his track record is far from clean. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission filed a class-action lawsuit against Bloomberg LP for 72 women who suffered from pregnancy-related discrimination. Another statement in The Portable Bloomberg is “If women wanted to be appreciated for their brains, they’d go to the library instead of to Bloomingdale’s.”

He also told NYC Council Speaker Christine Quinn, “Do you pay a lot to make your hair be two colors? Because now it’s three with the gray.” (Considering his own hair is gray, he’s got a lot of chutzpah.) Had I known all this, I wouldn’t have been so surprised that Bloomberg was so insensitive towards street harassment.

Well, Bloomberg’s final term will be up in November, and the mayoral position will be up for grabs. I certainly hope that his replacement will be more understanding of street harassment, and recognize the fact that it’s not just a catcall. It’s a women’s rights issue.

Talia Weisberg is a Harvard-bound feminist hoping to concentrate in Studies of Women, Gender, and Sexuality. Her work has appeared in over 40 publications and she runs the blog Star of Davida blog (starofdavida.blogspot.com).

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USA: Building male allies, one guy at a time

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By: Allison Riley, SSH Correspondent

A male friend of mine posted this image on Tumblr—it’s a Game Boy Color device turned to the side. I responded and said that I take offense to this photo because of the phrase “that ass”. Whether or not we realize it consciously, placing this phrase on top of an object immediately makes us compare it to a woman; thus participating in objectification. One looks at the curved battery compartment of the Game Boy and instantly connects it to the curves of a woman’s hips. When people find images like this humorous, it shows that they are condoning behavior that is considered harassment whether they realize it or not.

A mutual friend of ours posted the following statuses on her Facebook the next day:

“To the stranger downtown: First of all, I’m not your “Honey”…Ew. Secondly, no I’m not going to holla at you just because you think I’m pretty.”

“To stranger #2 from downtown: WTF you have no right to sexually harass me with “I’d beat that” while looking me up and down. I’m a classy effing lady, not a dog meant for your sick amusement. #ugh #omgwhatisupwithtoday”

 I noticed that the male friend I mentioned “liked” both of these statuses. I also know that he takes pride in calling himself a “nice guy,” yet his Tumblr post contradicted that. So I decided to give him a call. I told him to take a second look at the Game Boy photo he posted and to imagine that our friend was in the photo instead. Then would it be funny if the caption was “that ass”?

He ended up deleting the photo by the end of that week.

Then the other night, I was conversing with another male friend about gender-neutral bathrooms. He asked me if I would feel comfortable showering next to a guy. I said no because he might harass me. He replied, “What about a lesbian woman? Would you feel comfortable showering with her?”

“I already have before,” I said.

“And you don’t mind if she’s checking you out?”

“Well I know for a fact that she’s not,” I said.

“What if you didn’t know she was lesbian? Are you automatically trusting her because she’s the same sex as you?”

Generally yes, I trust women in public spaces—but mainly because none of my experiences with them thus far have been harmful to me. Only my experiences with men have been harmful; hence we say street harassment is motivated by gender.

My friend proceeded to tell me about how he has been slapped on the butt and harassed by gay men before. He has also gotten harassed by women when out alone. “I’ve had girls come up to me and basically behave like a guy,” he said. He elaborated further and we agreed that behaving “like a guy” equates actions like slapping someone’s butt, catcalling, and other unwanted gestures.

Immediately I wondered, why doesn’t he share his experience? Why don’t more guys speak up about this topic? I asked him, and he said that he simply doesn’t feel like he can. Or if he does, it won’t do anything. In reality, we all know it’s quite the opposite. It does make a difference because it will educate other men.  Sharing experiences and opinions will add to the bits of information surfacing about street harassment and male socialization.

And if you ask me, true masculinity consists of taking on that positive, educational role.

When building male allies in fighting street harassment, it helps to find common ground. It helps put the seriousness of the topic into perspective. The guys with common sense will admit that they hate being harassed in public just as much as we do and hate to see us go through it.

I directed both of these guys to check out the Male Allies section of this website. On to the next!

Allison is a 2012 graduate of Metropolitan State University of Denver where she majored in Journalism with a minor in women’s studies. Follow Allison on Twitter at @a_wonderlandd.

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USA: “Women shouldn’t be made to feel like targets”

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By Sean Crosbie, SSH Correspondent

Street harassment often decreases a person’s willingness to go out or be seen in public spaces. I interviewed two friends about their experiences with catcalls, and their subsequent willingness to go out in public. The two friends had very different attitudes towards going out alone versus going out with others.  In order to protect the identities of the women, I have labeled each “Interviewee 1” and “Interviewee 2,” respectively.

Interviewee 1 was walking in a local nightlife area in Washington, D.C., waiting for her boyfriend when she was accosted by two men looking for their car. When she said she didn’t know where their car was, they kept engaging her, and one member of the pack attempted to hug her. Immediately following that incident, another man came up to her and asked her how she was doing. She didn’t say anything and he responded by yelling, “Don’t ignore me!”  Interviewee 1 told me: “…I was shaking and terrified…every man walking by had become a threat, and I felt trapped and alone since no passerby or police were available to protect me.”

This frightening encounter left her wary of going out in the neighborhood alone:

… After that experience, I have been leery of going out in Adams Morgan, especially alone. Previously, I had felt comfortable going to salsa there by myself (I’m friends with some regulars there), but since this incident, I’ve avoided heading to Adams Morgan by myself. Even when I’m walking with my boyfriend… I still feel like a target.

Interviewee 2 was sunbathing topless on a beach in Melbourne, Australia.  While topless bathing is legal in Australia, its practice is not widespread. She decided to wade in the water topless, but then put on a swimsuit top to lie on the beach. A man walked past and then went back to sit next to her. He began asking her questions like, “Do you have a boyfriend?” and, “Can I take you out for a drink tonight?” After ten minutes of inappropriate questions and Interviewee 2’s non-engaging responses, she got up and started walking away. She was not hindered by this uncomfortable experience:

… I refuse to let obnoxious people affect me in that way…I may be even more assertive. I may also start explaining to people that what they are doing is harassing me, so that they can be more educated.

Women should be able to be alone in public without being harassed or made to feel afraid or uncomfortable. Too many men interact with women inappropriately. In fact, Interviewee 2 described this guy on the beach as a creep who kept telling her she had a nice body. It’s unfortunate that some men see women in public as an invitation to make sexual comments or gestures, or to invade women’s personal space. Street harassment seems to be a common, yet unnerving, expression of masculinity and “ownership” of space.

And I will deal with that concept in a future post. The women I interviewed shared their thoughts with me about what should be done to combat and prevent street harassment. The culture needs to change, and it needs to change now. Women shouldn’t be made to feel like targets.

Sean has written for Stop Street Harassment since April 2011.  He is a library/research assistant at a labor union in Washington, D.C. and holds a Bachelor’s degree in economics from American University. 

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