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What Can Men Do?

December 30, 2017 By HKearl

Dr. Gary Barker, President of Promund-US, did an interview with Mashable a few weeks ago about what men can do in light of the #MeToo movement and ending sexual abuse. Check out all 5 actions in the full article, as well as excerpts below:

“1. Listen to women. Women are sharing their stories, from just two words to details about harassment and assault. If you as a man feel compelled to comment beyond words of support, think twice. Women who’ve made themselves vulnerable by sharing their painful stories don’t need men second-guessing their accounts or making contrarian remarks.  Before you do anything, listen.

2. Talk to other boys and men about #MeToo. If you can’t believe so many women have experienced sexual violence, other boys and men probably don’t realize it either. #MeToo is an opportunity for men to talk to each other about how those experiences are universal for women, and to talk about what men can do.

3. Call it out when you see it.* Too often men see other men harassing or abusing power and turn the other way. It’s uncomfortable for us to question other men, particularly when it’s a friend, a co-worker, or even a relative. Lots of other men knew what Harvey Weinstein did and said nothing. Take a stand and call it out even if it’s uncomfortable – and even if it puts you at risk.

4. Advocate for better education and prevention. Use #MeToo as an opportunity to advocate for long-term education and prevention efforts in schools, campuses, and workplaces. Meaningful change happens through multiple education sessions over time, institutional messages about prevention, and comprehensive training for staff and leadership. Boys and girls need to learn about consent, sexuality, and respect in open, honest ways.

We cannot let our silence be deafening as men. We cannot look the other way and pretend that it’s those other men. We need to speak out and take action today, first and foremost listening to women who have experienced harassment.”

Learn how Promundo is working with partners in the United States and more than 40 countries worldwide to challenge the root causes of sexual harassment and sexual assault and to promote gender justice.

Check out our male allies section and my books Stop Street Harassment: Making Public Places Safe & Welcoming for Women and Stop Global Street Harassment: Growing Activism Around the World for information specifically around what men can do to stop street harassment.

For programming ideas, check out Collective Action for Safe Spaces’ “Rethinking Masculinity” program.

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Filed Under: male perspective, Resources Tagged With: male allies, men's role, what men can do

We face constant homophobic harassment

November 30, 2017 By Contributor

I’m a gay teenager who is trying to have a happy relationship with my boyfriend, but every night I walk him home, we face constant harassment from teenagers from 11-18, asking personal questions and threats, including Homophobic bulling. All I want is to hold my partner’s hand, and walk down the street, with no weird looks, no threats and no harassment. I know now that this is impossible, because of our society today, little kids shouting out ‘gay’ and faggot, It makes me so angry, how children/teenagers think it is okay. I’m now so scared that I won’t even have a boyfriend, if the harassment doesn’t stop!!

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Add more street lights, have people on watch, have someone/somewhere to talk too, like an LGBT community group in the area or a warning to parents on letting their children out so late, or even fine the teenagers/parents of harassment

– Harry E.

Location: Maidstone, Kent, Britain, Northumberlend road

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for idea
s.

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Filed Under: LGBTQ, male perspective, Stories, street harassment

“I felt awful for not doing more”

November 24, 2017 By Contributor

I’m a guy. I was walking in the Wynwood area in Miami with two women friends of mine and as we turned into a corner, a group of 10 guys were surrounding the sidewalk harassing every women that went by with crude sexual comments and by invading their personal space.

In my head, I wanted to stay close to both my friends so as to put some space in between them and those guys as we went through, but we were surrounded. As they were harassing the group in front of us, one of my friends just ran pass through while the other stood still for a second. I don’t remember if I told her to keep moving, if I pushed her to move fast so we don’t get separated or if I just stood there next to her; I think I did the later but honestly, all those three reactions make me feel embarrassed, like I either pushed her to do something she didn’t want to do or simply failed to help her when she needed it. After a couple of seconds, she started moving forward and I moved right behind her so no one would come near from the back.

My friends got spared from their personal space being invaded, but the crude comments still made it through. I felt, and still feel, awful for not doing more, can’t imagine how they felt like. I keep thinking what else should’ve I done: should’ve I stood up to them? Told them to quit it? Turned around with my friends to the other side of the sidewalk? At the very minimum I should’ve alerted the police or taking a picture of them to post it on twitter to warn people right? I didn’t.

All that I can recall thinking at that moment was stay close to them so that those guys don’t get near them while we walk by, and afterwards make my friends forget what happened by trying to make conversation about something else. What bothers me the most is that if I find myself in the same situation in the future, I’m still not sure what the best course of action is. It pisses me off how useless I was to my friends and it scares me that in the future, I might be just as useless.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

The fact that there is no accountability for these behaviors is what I think makes street harassment so common and the victims of it feel so powerless. A channel by which street harassment can be reported, and an audience that tunes in to these reports may a least bring some public shaming to the behavior. If people know that it is quite likely they are going to be branded as predators by everyone they know if the engage in street harassment, they might be less incline to engage in it.

– AB

Location: Wynwood area, Miami. Near the Wynwood walls walk entrance

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for idea
s.

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Filed Under: male perspective, Stories, street harassment

UK: “We need men on our side, working alongside us”

March 22, 2017 By Correspondent

Michael Conroy

Annabel Laughton, Gloucestershire, UK, SSH Blog Correspondent

This month I had the chance to speak to Michael Conroy, National Coordinator for A CALL TO MEN UK. After hearing from feminist activist Finn Mackay last month about the importance of working with men and boys to challenge and change the culture that continues to allow street harassment and all forms of violence against women to exist, I was keen to find out more about an organisation doing exactly that.

A CALL TO MEN UK was set up in 2011 by Kay Clarke, who after years of working with women survivors of men’s violence began to think about prevention. Conroy got involved when he saw Tony Porter (co-founder of the US based A CALL TO MEN) speak. “I watched a session and thought ‘This is really important work and I should be doing this too!’”, he says.

And the aim is as big as it is important: to create a critical mass of younger men who will no longer uphold the cultural beliefs driving violence and coercive behaviour. This will be a “tipping point”, Conroy says, which will enable the shrinking of the spaces where misogyny flourishes and allow healthier norms to become embedded. The organisation works towards this goal in a variety of clever ways, focusing on “creating opportunities for creative, challenging dialogues with boys and young men around what it means to be a man and how some of the messages we receive can be really harmful, not just to women and girls, but also to ourselves as men.”

One example is the FreeUp programme which starts “the kind of conversations that just don’t happen often enough – about porn, consent, objectification, autonomy, the rules of the ‘manbox’ and how we as males sometimes police each other by invoking rules of masculinity”.

Ingeniously, A CALL TO MEN UK trains staff already working with groups of boys and young men, people they already trust, to deliver the programme. This can include teachers, social workers, Family Support workers or sports coaches, and has the added benefit of educating staff in these settings, which helps to secure the values of the training as part of the ethos in these organisations.

And does street harassment get covered in these programmes with young men? Absolutely.

“Our programmes involve a close look at objectifying practices, which include street harassment, cat-calling, unwanted comments and sexualising behaviour. We unpick the belief system that makes it seem ok to behave in that way. Our analysis, which is clear in our programme, explicitly links that kind of abusive behaviour to the rules of the ‘manbox’, by which men have to – or at least feel empowered to – publicly prove their heterosexuality and by which they believe women are of lesser value and in effect the property, particularly sexual property, of men.” Conroy goes on to say that the programmes also tackle victim blaming, which is “probably part of most street-harassers’ stock script”.

The programmes help boys and men to realise that their actions are their responsibility, and theirs alone.

The programmes Conroy coordinates do not shy away from big questions, and seek to be part of huge and fundamental changes in the way men are socialised, and their self-image. “At the core is a need to un-believe in gender myths and delegitimise the permissions they offer and restrictions that they place on us, unequally, as men and women. Beyond our bodies there is no set of features, attributes, characteristics or interests that we can say are male or female, although centuries of history lie heavily upon our personal and collective consciousness and can persuade some that sex roles are innate.  Masculinity and femininity are harmful constructs that we need to urgently debunk for the sake of men and women whose lives are affected by their strictures.”

He’s also unequivocal in one practical way men can create far reaching change in society: at home, by doing an equal share of housework and childcare. “That unsung and unsexy stuff is all too often overlooked but if we can’t or won’t do that, then what hope for the ‘big’ stuff?”

Learning about this fantastic organisation reminds me again how much we need male allies to be part of our fight against street harassment, against sexism, misogyny and patriarchy itself. We need men on our side, working alongside us and taking the message to those who will not hear us, and we need to hold men to account – including those many, many good and decent men who still believe that misogyny is not their fight and thus stay silent.

Annabel is involved in campaigns for human rights, mental health, environmental issues and social justice. She has an honours degree in Classical Studies, a diploma in counselling, and works in Higher Education.

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Filed Under: Activist Interviews, correspondents, male perspective, street harassment

Peru: Construction Workers against Street Harassment

March 9, 2017 By HKearl

“In Miraflores, a traditional middle-class neighborhood in Peru’s capital, Lima, where construction sites abound, a group of construction workers [posted this sign]: ‘At this construction site, we don’t whistle at women and we are against sexual street harassment'”!!!

Let’s see these kinds of signs EVERYWHERE!!

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Filed Under: male perspective, News stories, street harassment

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