When people post or share their stories, on this blog or on Facebook, sometimes SSH followers or readers will say, “I would have done x, y, z if that had happened to me” and engage in indirect victim-blaming. New research shows why people may have that reaction.

Via Science Daily:

“When confronted with sexual harassment, we don’t stand up for ourselves to the extent we believe we will, and because we use false predictions as a benchmark, we condemn others who are passive in the face of sexual harassment, according to a new study co-authored by Ann Tenbrunsel, professor of business ethics at the University of Notre Dame….

“If we can increase the accuracy of our predictions and realize we won’t stand up for ourselves as often as we would like to think, we will be less condemning of other victims,” Tenbrunsel says.

In the first two studies, observers predicted they would be more confrontational than victims typically are, and this led to greater judgment of other passive victims, including unwillingness to work with them and to recommend them for a job.

The third study identified the failure to consider what may motivate victims to be passive, and the final two studies reduced condemnation of passive sexual harassment victims by highlighting their likely motivations at the time of the harassment and by having participants recall a past experience of their own when they did not act in the face of intimidation in the workplace, a situation related to but distinct from sexual harassment.

The results from these studies add insights into the causes and consequences of victim condemnation and help explain why passivity in the face of harassment — the predominant response — is subject to so much scorn.”

No matter where sexual harassment happens (workplace, school, campus, streets, bus, our home), most people do react by ignoring it or avoiding it. I certainly have.

In part these reactions are because that’s what we’ve been told to do or because we haven’t received any other guidance on what to do. It may also be because we feel too unsafe, fear retaliation, or worry that a strong reaction will escalate the situation. We may also think it won’t do any good to respond assertively, or we don’t have the time or energy to respond.  These are valid feelings and responses.

At Stop Street Harassment, we believe that whatever response you have is the right one, but we also want to provide you with ideas for how to respond beyond avoidance and ignoring so you’re able to make the most informed decision you can.

I hope people can cut each other more slack when they hear someone ignored or avoided a harasser. It’s fine to think about what you’d do if you were in that circumstance, because you might be in that circumstance one day, but it is not fair to vocally pass judgement. We don’t know everything about the circumstances or the person’s history.

We also need to cut ourselves some slack. We may have high expectations for how we hope we will respond when we’re harassed (and practicing assertive responses can help us respond that way), but when we’re harassed, we don’t always respond the way we envisioned. I know a lot of people beat themselves up over this – including me – but it’s not so easy or safe to always have a strong reaction. And that’s okay.

Sexual harassment/street harassment is horrible and we need to support each other (including ourselves), not judge or blame each other. And ultimately, the onus should not be on individuals who are harassed to change the behaviors and stop it. We must have community efforts and community support to stop sexual harassment.