Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“Don’t be scared, get in.”

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Last night, I went to the movies with a friend of mine who’s also a female. It was pretty late and we had to go home on foot. It wasn’t the first we did that so we didn’t really see any problem at first.

Of course, every time we walked home, there would be car honks here and there, and sometimes three in a row. One time, there was a man on a bike who slowed down to talk to us saying he was looking for a wife. We were only 18 and we were just trying to walk home. We tried to answer as little as possible to his questions and he kept talking to us for 20 minutes before he finally left.

But last night, as we walked home, two men who were in their car slowed down and catcalled us. We didn’t understand a thing they were saying and we didn’t really care. We tried to ignore them the best we could and they finally drove away. But two minutes later, they came back on the other side of the road and catcalled us again. They turned around just to do that.

Once they were gone, we relaxed again. We were now just a few minutes away from our home when another car, a truck, stopped on the side of the road next to us. Then we started to freak out. The car was going our way and we couldn’t prevent them from coming out of their car. The driver got out and started to ask us if we wanted a ride home. We declined as politely as we could, but we insisted, and then the man from the passenger seat was opening his door too. We were so scared, we didn’t know what to do. The guy kept saying and asking us to drop us off but we declined. He noticed we were scared and instead of just understanding the message he said, “Don’t be scared, get in.”

After a while he finally gave up, I was ready to run away. We finally got home. This experienced just ruined our night. More than that.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Honestly, I don’t even know considering it could happen anywhere in the world. I do feel very unsafe and going out slowly becomes a mental torture for me. I can’t stop thinking about what happened and what could have happened. I use to love to go out with my friend, now it is something I try to avoid just for that reason.

Location: France

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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16 Days – Day 9: Retaliation in Pakistan

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Each day across the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, we will highlight a 2018 activism effort undertaken to stop street harassment or a personal story about stopping harassers!

Day #9: Retaliating against harassers in Pakistan

Two young women wearing hijab retaliated against two young men who were street harassing them at a busy market of Peshawar. In a viral video, the young women are seen angrily slapping the faces of the two young men as a crowd gathers. The men had harassed them previously and the young women were fed up! Eventually, the young men fled the scene.

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16 Days – Day 8: Don’t Touch Me!

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Each day across the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, we will highlight a 2018 activism effort undertaken to stop street harassment or a personal story about stopping harassers!

Day #8: Don’t Touch Me!!

After a man groped Emelia Holden in a restaurant in Georgia, she turned around, grabbed him by his collar and slammed him onto the counter shouting, “You don’t touch me motherf—!” It was all caught on video.

She said later, “I didn’t even think, I just reacted.”

She told a coworker to call the police and the man was arrested and charged with sexual battery.

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16 Days – Day 7: A Job for a Woman

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Each day across the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, we will highlight a 2018 activism effort undertaken to stop street harassment or a personal story about stopping harassers!

Day #7: A Job for a Woman

Image via BBC

In Belgium, sexism in public places is illegal under a law passed in 2014. This year, the first charge was made using the law. A female police officer questioned a man after he jaywalked, and he said in response to her, “Shut your mouth, I don’t talk to women, being a police officer is not a job for women.” Apparently it IS a job for women (more than 30 percent of Belgium’s 40,000 police officers are women), and she arrested him. He was fined 3,000 euros.

Sexism, according to the law, is defined as “every gesture or deed” that is “clearly meant to express contempt of a person based on sex,” or considers a person inferior based on sex, or reduces a person solely to a sexual dimension, and which “gravely affects the dignity of that person as a result.”

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“Did he know I was Asian?”

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It was around 8:20am and I had just dropped off my child at his school. About a quarter of a mile down the school’s street, I waited to make a left turn onto a bigger, wider street that had two lanes per direction and a speed limit of 45 mph. It wasn’t a 4-way stop, so I was waiting until it was safe and clear to make that turn.

First, the lane closest to me cleared. I was thinking of turning left and then wait on the island before merging into the lane I needed to be in. But then cars, including a truck or bus or van started coming in from that lane so I continued to wait. Suddenly, I hear a long honk behind me, not short but a long, impatient one. I ignored it as it’s still not safe for me to make a left turn. Then the heard 4 or 5 more honks. This time I turn my head and look at the driver mouthing “what’s the problem” because he was really, really rude. He didn’t look at me. Finally it was clear to turn left and then I veered to the right turn lane (because I then had to turn right).

Then this white SUV got into my lane, driving very fast just inches from my car, honking. His dog, a golden brown hound was in the front, sticking his head out the window. I honked back as I rolled down my window ready to shout back in case he did too. He just drove on honking. I was shaken, felt violated and disrespected for doing the right thing– waiting to make a safe turn. I felt violated and disrespected when he honked not once but 4 or 5 times successively when I continued to wait until safe.

I felt discriminated. Did he know I was Asian and that’s why he didn’t care that he honked that way? He knew for sure when I turned my head and glared at him. He knew when he zoomed past me as if threatening to hit me. Unfortunately, I didn’t look at his plate number as I was just so shaken. I was having second thoughts about reporting. I didn’t think I’d find your site to report street harassment. initially I just wanted to talk to somebody–a friend, better if it’s an organization that deals with harassment. Then I found this site. I was saving second thoughts about reporting. I even forgave the other driver because he was probably mentally ill.

Is discrimination a form of mental illness? I’ve never experienced this in all 17 years I’ve been living in the U.S.– not this level of rudeness. I can’t help thinking what emboldened this driver to harass me the way he did. This is too much. I don’t feel safe. What if I had my children with me and they witnessed all this?

Location: Hatteras Street and Fall Brook Avenue, Woodland Hills, California

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

Share