I’m only 14 years old. I was walking from my dance studio to a water ice booth a few doors down in the shopping center while I was on break from dancing. There were a group of boys loitering next to the water ice booth. They looked about 18-20. One went up to me as I was waiting for my milkshake and was like ʺnice assʺ an pointed at my sweatpants. I told him firmly, ʺPlease leave me alone and mind your business.”

They all starting laughing and one went up to me, touched my shoulder, tried to pull me close, and said, ʺHey baby, will you buy me some water ice?ʺ I thought he escalated it by touching me being close to me, so I slapped him hard grabbed my milkshake and ran all the way across the shopping center and into my dance studio again. I never thought I was considered ʺsexyʺ or ʺhotʺ. I’m in 8th grade! It really shook me up.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

If there are any outdoor stands or booths where you have to wait for the employee to come take your order, to always have a bell at the counter, so you aren’t stuck waiting and looking vulnerable. You can get what you need and get out because most people loiter near these places.

G.S.

Location: Rita’s Water Ice, New Castle, DE

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Around two weeks ago, a few minutes past 12 noon, I drove myself to a venue down a well-known lane on Bagatale Rd, Colombo 3, as I had to attend a work meeting. Once I parked and started adjusting my hair, out of the corner of my eye I saw a man standing a few yards away from me with his back towards me. He was wearing a helmet. At this point I did recognise the motor cyclist. I am unsure whether he was following me, but I definitely remember seeing him turn towards the same lane.

When he realised that I saw him, he turned towards me and started masturbating. I froze for what seemed like a long time but in reality it was probably a few seconds. Although I was a fully grown career-focused  and married woman who’s generally in control of things, for a fleeting moment I felt like a helpless school girl!

I somehow managed to summon up my courage and acted fast. I took my mobile phone and started photographing him. My fingers didn’t move as fast but I managed to take two pictures. One of him proudly exhibiting his disgusting self and the other showing his motorcycle number plate very clearly.

He saw me taking the photographs but didn’t for a moment stop what he was doing or avert his eyes. I shouted at him saying he can see himself in the newspaper and in the police.

Then he stopped, got back onto the motorcycle and came right up close to me. I had rolled up my window and locked all my doors but honestly I was really worried. I saw him leave but I wasn’t sure.

I had to get out and go to my meeting, but I was worried he’d be hiding somewhere and try to harm me. I was worried to leave my car thinking he’d do something to my car. My meeting was with 5 other men, so I couldn’t really call them and tell them what happened! I felt so helpless.

I whatsapped the pictures to my closest female friends and my husband with a brief msg of what happened, so that in case something happened to me or my car there was evidence of me taking steps regarding the incident.

I somehow attended the meeting but I was in another world due to what I witnessed.

I was quite proud of myself that I managed to take the photos and I wanted to take action but everyone I knew advised me not to pursue it further saying its for my own safety as the motorcyclist would’ve noted my car number.

I feel so defeated that I had to experience this awful incident and I couldn’t even take action after.

Wish there was some way I could take action!

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

By society being more supportive and if there were more support networks to help victims!

– OMS

Location: Sri Lanka

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

I was on my way out of a dairy at 10 p.m., just heading back to my car a few metres away. Four guys walking toward me stared at me. Most of them said something or laughed. One said ʺHey Sexyʺ. When I told them to leave me alone they found this more amusing. One of them said, “Ooooooh feistyʺ as if he enjoyed my discomfort or resistance.

It made me feel unsafe, angry and degraded, as if they were more powerful than me, which physically just one of them would have been and there was a group, which was frightening. I also felt like they thought I was out there for their viewing pleasure.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Bystanders speaking up. Men telling off their mates for doing this sort of thing. It’s mostly men that do it and their peers have power to influence their behaviour by expressing disapproval.

– Anonymous

Location: Dunedin, New Zealand

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I park at the same parking deck every weekday since it’s pretty well priced. Every day for about 2 weeks when I left the lot, I saw the same guy. The first time he talked to me, he said something like “Long day?” I smiled and said yeah and nodded.

From there he started saying he wanted to see me smile and staring at me every day. He’d stare the entire time I paid for my ticket and it was starting to make me really uneasy. I thought it would stop since he didn’t say anything about it one day, but it picked right up the next day. I was starting to get anxious and stressed, and ended up panicking and driving away while he was in the middle of saying something.

I decided to directly tell him to leave me alone the next day. I was nervous, but resolved to do it. While I was paying for my ticket that day, he walked up and just kinda looked at me. He didn’t say anything, and I considered just driving away, but I wanted to speak up.

Calmly, I asked him to stop telling me to smile and said it was really making me uncomfortable. He quickly said okay and nodded, acting like he didn’t want to listen to anything else I had to say. I think he was mad that I drove away the previous day, and I’m kind of thankful that I did. I think it helped show that I didn’t like what he was doing.

This guy was taking advantage of being right there the entire time you pay for a ticket to stare and make these comments at me, and I’m probably not the only person he’s done it to. I hope he’ll think before he makes these unwanted comments to anyone else.

I didn’t complain to the company since he made an indication of respecting my wishes. I don’t plan to park there any more since I don’t want to see him again, but being able to say something took such a weight off my shoulders. I didn’t even realize how much this was affecting me until after I said something.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

A person don’t have to say or do something lewd or sexual for your feelings of discomfort to be justified. It’s 100% okay to not speak up, but if you feel safe doing so, tell them to stop what they’re doing, or complain to their employer if possible. You may feel really relieved afterwards.

– Anonymous

Location: Uptown Charlotte, NC

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I am currently traveling through Europe. I went to Scotland with my University, London with friends, and I am an Au Pair in Italy now. While in Italy I had a few days off and decided to travel alone to Rome. For those of you who have not been to Rome, it is JAM PACKED with people. It’s overwhelming, and to be honest, it was not very fun.

When you ride the metro or buses you are almost always squished like sardines. I went on a bus hoping to go to the Trevi Fountain and, surprise surprise, it was packed with people. I ended up being near an older man (60’s?) with my back to him. Once the bus started I noticed that someone kept pushing into my back and my side. I turned around and it was the old man. I told myself that this man couldn’t be rubbing himself against me and it was just the bus movements. But the mans groin area continued to push against me. I looked again and to my horror, he had a boner. I tried to get away from him but the bus was full.

Then a different older man asked if I would like to take a seat. I though he was being polite and graciously took the open seat to get away the man who was rubbing himself against me. When I sat down in the seat, the man (also in his 60’s) positioned himself to where he had his arms on the poles that were on either side of my seat and he put one leg up on the area where I sat (the seats were like one step up) and basically pinned me into my seat. This made me uncomfortable and his belly kept squishing me as well as his groin. I told my self NO WAY would this happen within five seconds of the other man. But once again, it was happening. He started gyrating and moving his hips in circles. I felt paralyzed. I don’t speak Italian, and even if I did I had lost my voice. I, a feminist who tells her friends to always make a scene and speak out when someone does this exact thing, had lost her voice.

I had never experienced sexual assault like this, and never in a country where I can’t speak the language. It was terrifying. I felt ashamed for not shouting out and cursing at the man like I would have if I was a bystander and not the one being attacked. I decided that the best way to get out of it was to leave. I said “this is my stop” (hoping he understood) and he put his hand on my back and I shoved it away and got off the bus.

I went down to an area with few people and cried. I was stuck in a city where I didn’t speak the language and had no one to comfort me and I felt so ashamed for not sticking up for myself. But I am even more angry at the bystanders. The bus was full of people someone could have helped me and told him to stop or at least ask if everything was ok but instead they let it happen.

Bystanders doing nothing is something that has happened to many of my friends who have been sexually assaulted as well. This is something that needs to change. All in all, this experience has made me stronger and I feel like now, whatever the world throws at me I am prepared. But when it was happening I felt helpless, I don’t want anyone to feel that way. Ever.

We need to stop street harassment around the world. Because of those disgusting men, I refused to take the bus and stuck to the metro, which was very limited, and walking. I was really scared it would happen again.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

If you can yell at your harasser and make them stop, do it. If you can’t, if your voice just can’t come out, like mine, it is ok. It is not your fault, you did nothing wrong. If you see someone harassing someone, stop them or get someone who can if the situation is not safe. Talk about street harassment and the way it has effected you. Help educate others on why it is wrong and why it needs to stop. Give a voice to those who are voiceless.

– C.W.

Location: Rome, Italy

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea