Today I took a taxi in order to got to my house. The driver was saying weird things, trying to talk with me, but I just answered like nothing was happening. Then I paid him and when I was leaving the taxi he slapped my butt. I tried to hit him but he ran away.

I feel so bad because I couldn’t do anything. The security man where I live took some notes about the taxi so he gave them to me.. But I still can feel pain in my butt. I have been crying. I told my parents and they supported me but I feel so bad, I feel abused and the worst thing is that in my country this is a common problem. Machismo it’s normal here..

– VV

Location: Nicaragua

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

As a person who is trans feminine I am no stranger to street harassment. More often than not, a lot of harassment comes in the form of dirty looks, whispers, finger pointing, giggles, rude comments, invasive questions about my gender and genitalia, and the daily occurrence of just generally people eying up every part of my body.

At least the direct verbal assaults haven’t been too bad. In the past year I have only been yelled at on 3 occasions by somebody in a passing vehicle. The first time was in a Walmart parking lot as two young men yelled a homophobic slur at me. The second incident occurred on my way to giving a presentation on sexual and gender diversity at the public library, when a few teenagers in a passing vehicle yelled “what the hell is that?” then called me a variety of names (such as “freak”) as they drove off. Most recently, just today (a couple of hours prior to me writing this), I was walking down main street when a gentleman peeked his head out his truck window and told me to “eat **** and die” (as far as I could make it out over other sounds).

It’s awful. It makes me feel vulnerable, scared, hyper vigilant of my surroundings, extremely anxious, depressed, violated, and just generally disrespected.

I really wish people would stand up for me and speak out when these things happened. Instead, people just stand by, watching, staring, sometimes even laughing and/or smiling along with everyone else (which makes it all the more hurtful). Every morning I have to talk myself into even leaving the house.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Like with bullying behaviors, I believe the motivations behind street harassment are influenced by such major, ingrained social issues and belief systems that we really need to be discussing the root causes to enact change. Sexism, homophobia, transphobia, racism, ableism, etc. Those are the core issues behind harassment, bullying, intimidation, and imbalanced power dynamics; and they need to be a part of dialogue on the behavioral problems.

– Anonymous

Location: Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

Every single day of my life I experience intense street harassment. It makes me question why, when I am with a group of just as feminine friends, most of the comments or entitlements to a body are targeted at me. Is it something about me that screams ‘harass me?’ I live every single day wondering, ‘when am I going to get raped?’ Not if. When am I going to get raped. I have had disgusting encounters with men, saying and doing repulsive things to express to me that they want me or are entitled to my body.

Beyond this, I am also a queer woman. I am a very feminine presenting queer woman, and that anomaly brings even more attention my way. Wherever I turn and wherever I go, I experience an immense amount of street harassment. Here is a glimpse:

One night my girlfriend and I were walking through NYC. As we were walking, a man grabbed my hand and stopped us. He wouldn’t let my hand go, and then he proceeded to make a motion with his other hand up and down my body, turn to my girlfriend and say, “Nice work.”

Last week, I was at a social justice forum. I was waiting in the hall for a meeting to finish. A man came up to me and started talking to me, soon enough he was telling me how he can’t stop staring at my body and how incredible my body is. He proceeded to comment on my looks. I removed myself from the situation. He then came up to me later, again, and continued to stare at my body and comment on how ‘fine’ and incredible it is and how he can’t stop thinking about it.

A few days ago I was at a street parade. A man spotted me from somewhat far away and came towards me. He grabbed my hand and said I had to be his girlfriend cause I am so damn fine. I asked him to let go of my hand, and instead he decided it was okay to lay a disgusting, wet kiss on my hand. I immediately walked away. Every time I saw him after, he continued to say nasty things to me.

I’ll leave you with this story, because it is one of the few in which I have gotten an answer to my question: why do you think it is okay to do this to me? Once someone came up behind me and started slowly kissing my neck. I turned around and pushed him off of me and said what the f*ck are you doing? He told me not to be such a bitch. I asked him, “Why do you think it is okay to do this to me?” And he said, “Because you are a f*cking woman.”

I don’t even know what to do anymore.

– Anonymous

Location: Everywhere

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I was walking back to my house after just strolling around the neighborhood. I walked past my neighbor’s house (right across the street a few houses down), and there’s a teenage boy sitting in his driveway. I’m 17, so I assumed I knew him, and waved. He said, ʺGood afternoon,ʺ to which I told him good afternoon as well. He said, “You’re so pretty.ʺ

I didn’t think anything of it and said, “Thank you.ʺ

I kept walking, and he made a kissing sound behind me, and I ignored it. Then, he said, ʺYou’re so fine, mm come back hereʺ or something along those lines.

I whipped around and shouted, ʺHey, F*CK you!ʺ and flipped him off. He started kinda laughing, and then said, ʺHey, don’t be a f*cking bitch!ʺ and some more obscenity, and I began to walk faster. I was feet away from my house and he stood up and came towards me. I booked it back inside, and told my brother. He went to talk to the kid, but the kid wouldn’t answer the door. I was so angry and ashamed, I immediately started playing in my head what I could’ve said better, or what I could’ve done differently. I have anxiety and PTSD from being sexually assaulted, so I began to have an absolute meltdown. It took me awhile to calm down afterwards.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

We could teach males in sex ed that catcalling and harassment are NEVER okay; I live in Virginia, and my boyfriend told me when he did sex ed all through middle and high school, they never mentioned catcalling or given any lectures about harassment or rape.

– Virginia Kuebler

Location: My neighborhood in VA

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A few days ago, I went to an amusement park with two of my friends. With three being such a bad number in those types of situations, we were rotating who was sitting alone, and it was my turn to sit solo on a ride I particularly didn’t like because it jolts you around. (I’ve got bruises from the seat before.) Moving on. As my friends and I were getting in line, I noticed two guys come up behind us to stand in line as well. They were both 15, as I later found out. It wouldn’t have been such a bad situation if they had taken a step back. Even so, they were practically right on top of my friends and I. (Mind you, they were both pretty tall and I’m about 5’2ʺ.)

So we’re minding our own business and we’re waiting in line. My friends are smiling and I’m smiling; we’re all having a good time. Which is very rare for me.

I’m not sure if it was my smile that lead them on, but because my friends had their backs to both boys, I could easily look over their shoulder and see or make eye contact with them. And I did so about 15 times. The taller one (we’ll call him B) even whispered to his friend while maintaining eye contact. It was quite obvious to determine they were talking about me; his friend made eye contact with me only but a second later!

They didn’t say anything in line, though I knew something was coming. I’m usually not the person in my friend group to get hit on; this was my first time going to the park and actually being able to be myself. I felt radiant. I felt empowered and so so happy. I suffer from bipolar depression, severe social anxiety, ADD, and insomnia.

So we get on the ride and it flips, twirls, tosses, and jolts us all around. I was shaking by the time we got off. (It is that bad, but I rode it because my friends wanted to.)

I totally forgot about the guys behind us in the line until we walk out to look at our pictures. I don’t even bother to search for mine amidst the other 10 screens, I decided beforehand that it was terrible.

So my friends and I walked away before everyone else, the crowd was all looking for their pictures, and we got a few steps away before stopping to try and decide what we wanted to eat. I turned so that I was facing both of my friends and it was easier to converse, and once again, over their shoulders, I see the same guys from the line, which was usually normal, but B was looking around as if he lost something. And because I was being self centered (which I would later have every right to be) and thought he was looking for me, I turned around and starting urging my friends to walk to a restaurant that I know had good food no matter what you liked and didn’t like; it had everything.

We had created an even bigger distance between ourselves and the tortuous ride we went on, before I noticed the two guys, once again, out of the corner of my eye. They were looking at me, but I didn’t make eye contact with them, because they weren’t even trying to hide the fact that they were both looking at my ass.

Inwardly, I knew something was going to happen, and the thought sent my mind into a frenzy.

B moved around my friends so that he was now walking backwards in front of me. He asked me for my name, and I, so frazzled at the time, answered honestly. My name is Sarah.

He turned around then with a smile on his face, mumbling my name. I thought he was done. But no, he moved to my side, so that we were now walking beside each other and our arms were brushing absentmindedly. I tried to move away but not even my friends knew what to do. I was on the brink of having a panic attack. Tall and muscular guys quite honestly scare me, and B was just that. He smiled, but it didn’t soften his demeanor.

B walked beside me for a minute before turning to me once more.

ʺWell Sarah, do you wanna make out with me?ʺ he asked, a smirk on his lips. I was shocked and flattered (because this doesn’t happen often to me) and disgusted and scared, all at once. I went with my instinct and clearly said no, my voice unwavering and my eyes remained in contact.
He asked again, and it fazed me because my seconds of being confident were over, though I expected them to tell him off for me alone.

This time, I stuttered because B looked sad that I had turned him down. I still said no, but my faltering pride have him an advantage.

ʺWhy-why not?ʺ he asked with a playful smirk, one that told me he was conceited enough to think I was lying. I told him it was because I didn’t know him, and they only made me sound as if I had known him, I would’ve taken him up on the offer. But honestly, I was just really caught off guard and didn’t know how to respond. B sensed that.

He told me his name and where he was from, adding a chipper, ʺ..and now you know me!ʺ onto the very end. I didn’t respond, and decided to just keep walking. He kept pace. He grabbed my hand loosely, to which I pulled away easily.

He called my name once I had finally managed to lose him walking-wise, and he had drifted back to his friend.

ʺAre you sure you don’t want to make out?ʺ B had asked, and I shook my head no. In response, I asked for his age, and he told me fifteen before I turned around with an exasperated sigh.

Both guys continued to call my name until I was out of earshot, and I made my friends practically run along with me to get away from them.

– Sarah

Location: Amusement Park in Ohio

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea