Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“We cannot hide from these people who hate us!”

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Hi everyone, i want to praise your commitment in this importance issue, i a man and i suffer from harassment in my university from a guy, who i think is homophobic, that whistled at me when i was walking in the corridors of my faculty.

This man works in the faculty as a administrative assistant because i see him in the offices.

This is a really true story that a share with you, i wanna encourages other to talk more about this problem, because we all are equal as a human beings and deserve respect in public spaces, we cannot hide from these people who hate us!

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Including a special reporting office in the police station, making this problem public in social media like facebook, twitter with photos and videos, and creating a non government organization that speaks out on this and promotes news laws to punishes this issue.

– TGI

Location: University

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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“He was trying to slap my butt while going almost 30 miles an hour”

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I was riding my bike home from class on a busy road when I heard a car swerving unusually close to the bike lane from behind me. I immediately tried to get out of the way, almost hitting a parked car. As the pickup truck passes me, I saw an old guy (around 50) hanging out the window with his arm extended, laughing loudly and shouting, ʺWhoops, I missed!ʺ He was trying to slap my butt while going almost 30 miles an hour in his car.

I couldn’t help but wonder what he must have been thinking about my body during the time they were driving behind me, and that made me feel horribly embarrassed and ashamed. I was furious that he put my safety at risk – not just my comfort, like most cat-callers do, but my actual physical well being – to get a laugh at my expense. Why did he think he had that right?? I know I wasn’t doing anything wrong, that the onus of his behavior is on him and not my actions or appearance, but it still made me feel like I needed to fix something.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Right now I think it might just have to be a case-by-case thing. Next time someone makes me uncomfortable in this way, I’ll talk to them about it, assuming the situation allows for that.

– CS

Location: Seattle, WA

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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France/Brazil: “I Still Feel the Same Terror”

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Luiza Pougy Magalhaes, France/Brazil, SSH Blog Correspondent

The very first time I witnessed street harassment, I was very young. I was so young that I didn’t really understand what a passing taxi driver meant when he called my mom a “yummy mommy”, when he looked right at her and said, “Oh mother may I.”

He was stuck in traffic right by my house; his collar opened all the way down to his chest, his arms out of the open window of his taxi. We walked by, completely unaware of his existence. Upon hearing his words, my mom stiffened, her back straightened, she held my hand tighter, and pulled me closer. I remember how I could feel her discomfort, and how I felt uncomfortable myself. I couldn’t understand why he had chosen to direct those words at her. I remember I wanted to protect her. I hated that man and I wished no one would ever speak to my mother like this again.

Today, I can still feel the terror I felt when he stared as we walked away. Now I know that she must have shared that terror. Probably more so than that; she must have felt violated and disgusted, shameful even – ashamed to be spoken like this in front of her daughter.

While I recall every detail of this particular scene, I doubt my mother remembers it at all. When street harassment becomes a daily struggle, we tend to block it out, rather than have it engraved on our memories. Nonetheless, I have a few stories worth sharing.

A couple of years ago, while wandering the streets of Brazil, I got lost. Knowing Brazilian men, I was very careful when asking for directions. I approached a couple of women, but had no luck. I saw a man; middle-aged, a clean-shaved face, impeccable posture, well-fitted suit, and glasses. Surely a well-educated man like himself would do no harm. I walked towards him with a shy smile. Before I could even say anything, he started calling me things; made comments about my legs, said he would pay money for me. Shocked and terrified, I left; mouth wide-open.

That day I learned that street harassers are not exclusive to certain demographics.

A few years after, I walked by a man with a toddler. The little boy lovingly leaned against the man’s chest. Just as they left my eye-sight I heard a whistle and a malicious comment. I turned around. The man was grinning and nodding, his boy looking at me, wide-eyed. Usually, street harassment makes me angry. Then, I just felt sad. Sad thinking about how this boy would be raised, what misogynistic values would be passed on to him.

Sad to realize that there was still a long way to fix society.

Living in France, street harassment also occurs regularly – once, at a supermarket I go to with frequency. The cashier’s line was long and I got distracted on my phone. The sound of a quiet giggle in my ear woke me from my trance. I turned around. There was a guy behind me, doing obscene, sexual gestures. I pushed him off, screamed at him and his friends – his audience. What really shocked me was that none of the cashiers, security, or general staff – who knew me well, I must say – did anything about it. They just looked at me; frowned faces at the foreigner girl who was making a scene.

That day I realized that people don’t think street harassment is a big deal, that street harassment is not taken seriously.

Months later, walking by my university, also in France, I crossed paths with a student; his gaze fixed on me. He licked his lips, hissed, and growled when we locked eye-contact. I called him a creeper and continued my way. He freaked out; started yelling that I “better watch out and have some f***ing respect, bitch.” In disbelief, ashamed, and also terrified, I picked up the pace and pretended like I wasn’t the one he was yelling at.

That day I realized that harassers see their victims with such tremendous inferiority that just the thought that they could stand up for their selves, pushes them over the edge.

You would think that years in the receiving end would have made street harassment any easier to deal with. However, I still feel the same terror that little girl felt when her mom was catcalled by that taxi driver. I feel my back straighten and stiffen just like hers did. I feel uncomfortable, violated, and ashamed, just like she must have felt. After all this time, I still don’t understand why the taxi driver stared, why the man commented, the father whistled, the boy hissed, the guy gestured. And to be honest, I don’t think I ever will.

Luiza is a 20-year-old from Brazil who considers herself a citizen of the world. As a teenager she moved to Singapore and now she studies International Business in France.

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ʺDon’t get me confused, bitch!ʺ

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I was walking to the store when a black pick-up truck rolls by and matches speed with me. The driver’s side window was open and the man inside said, ʺHey baby.ʺ

I kept walking. He asked, ʺYou ok?ʺ I looked over at him and he gave me a thumbs up. ʺYou want a ride?ʺ I shook my head. I get this all the time, every time I walk to the store. I consider it a good day if I make it there and back (about 2 blocks) without getting hassled. Normally they just keep rolling by after getting a flat look and a shake of the head. But not this guy.

ʺDon’t get me confused, bitch!ʺ He yelled at me. ʺYou f***ing bitch, f***ing slut.ʺ He’s screamed this at me. I got scared, but I was kinda just shocked, and I got off the sidewalk and tried to use the bushes and trees as cover. He drove on, albeit slowly, and gave me this death stare as he turned the corner.

I kept walking but when I got to the intersection, I saw he had parked his truck in front of the store I was going into. There’s two little competing convenience stores, one on each corner – I went to the other one of course. I kept thinking to myself – like he thought he was doing me a favor by harassing me, like I should be flattered somehow, the pig. Yet as angry as I was getting, after the initial fear waned, I still dawdled in the store and kept checking the parking lot through the windows.

On the way back home, I took the inside path near the trees and I saw him creep by. I managed to make it into my complex without him seeing me because he had driven on; he was holding up traffic.

– “Going to the Store”

Location: Gretna, LA

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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“The people who support it with their silence must be just as responsible”

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I’ve just shared my story to all my friends and family on Facebook. It was daunting, but worth it. Please take a look.

Some background information: I am a 24-year-old woman who spent a year living in Madrid, Spain, which is where I experienced the worst street harassment in my life. (Not that it matters, but I dressed conservatively for work every day and I stood out as a foreigner where I lived.)

I previously lived in Thailand for two years and did not experience street harassment on such an extreme level. I grew up in South Africa, where sexual violence and rape are more common for girls than getting an education. But the times that I was publicly harassed, bullied or followed as a girl and then teenager, other people stood up for me. They sometimes even physically stepped in, which I am more grateful for now more than ever.

During my entire time in Spain, no one said a word, not once, not even when I was followed by two teenage males on my way to a lesson, or when a man sat making faces at me on the bus, or when someone purposefully blocked my path on a busy pavement. I find that shameful.

My biggest issue with street harassment is not that people do it, but that other people tolerate it and we as a society allow it. If the characters of these men who harass women are so weak, then the people who support it with their silence must be just as responsible.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

-Individual activism like putting up notes, handing out flyers, etc.
-Joining and supporting communities like Stop Street Harassment or Stop Telling Women to Smile and telling others about movements like these, online or in person
-Spreading awareness and sharing stories with your family and friends in the hopes of changing people’s attitudes or comforting fellow victims
-Standing up for others and speaking out when you witness street harassment in any form

– Adrian Fleur

Location: Madrid, Spain

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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