I was on the metro train taking my 3- and 5- year old brothers to the Del Mar park, when a man in his mid-fifties continued trying to hit on me. He went so far as to take a pen and piece of paper from the man sitting next to him and force it into my hand. I completely ignored him, and felt very embarrassed. As I got off the train, he yelled “I look 19 when I shave.” The whole rest of the day I was shaken. My brothers seemed very uncomfortable and confused as well.

– A.L.

Location: Los Angeles

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Saturday night around 8 p.m. I was on the 4 train heading home from work. I had to squeeze into the trains because it was extremely crowded. This man was by the door and due to more people pushing on I was forced to move near him. At first I wasn’t sure and spent time debating with myself. But he was pressing himself on me and rubbing his penis on my buttocks. I elbowed him at one point but he kept doing it. I was shocked, I never had that happen to me. He went as far to lower himself and I was practically between his legs and he kept doing it. Luckily a woman noticed and said, “Come sit down, that man is trying to rub himself on you!”

– Anonymous

Location: 51st Street, 4 train

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I was 17 and working at a Winn Dixie as a cashier. One day an old man came up to me and started telling me how beautiful I was and kept asking me when I got off work and when I was working next. I was insanely creeped out by this man, but our managers were assholes and told us no matter what we had to always smile and be friendly. So, even though this man was being totally out of line, I had to smile and act like everything was ok, lest I get fired. I never gave him my schedule because that was a huge red flag. I was absolutely repulsed.

At around the same time I was also being stalked by an older creepy man who sounded like Norm from SNL. He would always drive around the parking lot and if he saw my car he would come inside, buy some meaningless junk, and insist on coming through my line. I had even caught him staring at my ass when I was working on the soda fridge at the end of my register. It was so incomfortable. I even had to have coworkers walk me out to my car because I had a fear this man would kidnap me.

– Anonymous

Location: Chelsea, Alabama

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The first time I was harassed was today. I just froze up. A group of boys who were younger than me were walking behind me and my friend. We were just walking to the subway, and they made loud comments about my body. I was disgusted, embarassed,and scared. I could not believe an (about) 11 year old could do that. I tried to walk away but snow was on the ground. It has pretty much ruined my day. I just froze up. This has left me wishing I did more than freeze up. Apparently they thought it was funny. It’s not. I hope it doesn’t scar me forever.

– Anonymous

Location: On my way home

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I brought my dog to work. Naturally, I have to take him out to pee. I have this tiny little park like 2 blocks from the office to which I take him. I work in downtown San Diego, so there are all sorts of people in the area.

As I’m walking back from taking the dog out to pee in the morning and am on the corner to cross the street to go back to my office, this guy walks up to me from behind me on my right and said, “You have no idea how badly I want to play with your boobs.”

I took probably a second to register that YES, HE JUST SAID THAT and then said, “That’s really inappropriate, sir,” in a pretty pissed off, stern voice.

He said, “My bad. My bad. I apologize,” as he sort of walked past me and then off to my left.

I looked him in the eye and said, “Thanks.”

However, he then decided it would be a good idea to tell me, “You should take it as a compliment.”

At that point, the walk sign came on and he was staying on that side of the street. As I was crossing the street, I turned over my left shoulder and yelled back, “That’s NOT a compliment!”

He then decided to give me some bogus explanations about why it was a compliment like “you’re beautiful.”

Although I was shocked and absolutely expecting him to end the sentence with “your dog” and not “your boobs,” I can say that I was prepared because of the prevalence of the street harassment awareness campaigns in the last year or so. I didn’t really feel threatened largely because I was in a public area and there were other people waiting to cross the street. I also don’t really envision exactly what is being said to me, so it has much less of the grossness factor. Instead, I just view it as inappropriate, However, had he said that in a less populated area, I’m sure I would’ve responded the same but felt a lot more threatened.

I can’t even tell my significant other about what happened because I know he’d be very concerned and wouldn’t feel comfortable with me walking around downtown any more than I had to.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

From what I can tell from talking to men about this, most men actually think thoughts about women’s bodies, regardless of whether or not they think street harassment is terrible. If they think it’s bad, they’re not going to say anything. The thoughts are still there, which I blame on the hyper-sexualization of our culture. Anyway, some men are too scared to say anything, but they still think sexual thoughts about women that they see. My only thought on how to stop it is to let the harasser know what he is doing is wrong and unwelcome and that it’s not a compliment in order to help convert him to viewing it as a bad thing.

It would be great if men would also call out other men but they have to view it as a problem first. I think most men think that it is, in fact, a compliment. That mentality needs to change in order to get men to stand up for women they see being harassed. A lot of men would step in if they saw a woman being physically assaulted and they need to view street harassment similarly.

– AM

Location: Downtown San Diego, CA

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