Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“Why must men do this to women?”

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This happened when I was in a public transit bus around noon. I was sitting right beside the window on the right side of the bus. There weren’t a lot of people in bus since it was a Saturday and this bus takes you to a university. The bus stopped at a red light and I noticed two men who wouldn’t stop looking at me. They looked old and intoxicated. They were pointing at me and exchanging words to each other. I tried my best not to look at them. One of them knocked on the window and said something. He then proceed to give me a ”kissy face’ and licked his lips.

I started to ignored him but he wouldn’t stop knocking on the window. It was a loud continuous knock and the rest of the passengers wouldn’t stop looking at what was going on. I was so embarrassed and angry at the same time. This actually makes me question my appearance. Is it because of the way I dress or how I do my makeup that makes men want to street call? Why must men do this to women? This is so wrong.

– Anonymous

Location: Winnipeg/Manitoba/Canada

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Harassed age 12

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debo decir que desde hace ya mucho tiempo tengo muchas inseguridad a la hora de transitar por la vía pública esto desde que un día cuando tenía 12 anos de edad iba caminando tranquila y sin ningun miedo a nada, un hombre manejando una bici paso junto a mi, de repente senti como golpeo mi nalga y se burlo de mi, despues del acto huyo y su gorra se le cayó, al observar que se le cayo su gorra se regreso por ella valiendole que estuviera cerca de la gorra y que pudiera golpearlo o hacerle algo, el sinismo fue lo que hasta ahora no he entendido, no tienen miedo o respeto por las mujeres.

– LORENA

Location: querétaro

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Australia: The Slippery Slope of Street Harassment

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Corina Thorose, Melbourne, Australia, SSH Blog Correspondent

Street harassment is a hot topic at the moment. It seems like everywhere I look, people are discussing it. What it is, who commits it, whether it is an offence, or whether it is actually a compliment. I watched a segment on a panel show the other day, when the subject came up, and to my surprise, every single one of the women on the panel, declared wolf whistles to be a compliment. The women in question ranged from forty to seventy years of age, and each one said that they wish they still got whistles, that at this stage in their lives, they were no longer appreciated as being attractive, or deemed worthy of a cat call.

Well, this was food for thought.

I’m in my late twenties, and it’s never occurred to me what it would be like to be someone who doesn’t turn heads. What it must feel like to be undervalued because of your age. I felt bad for not considering every angle. But then something else happened.

One of the women asked, “Why do we have to pester men to change all their behaviour?”

Why?

Because f*ck you, that’s why.

Because the first time I got whistled at, I was twelve years old. My breasts had just come in, and maybe I looked a little older, but I can’t explain the feeling of shame that came over me as I heard that holler for my body.

Because the second time I experienced street harassment, I was thirteen. A road worker leered at me for so long, I felt frightened, even though he didn’t say anything to me. Did he know how young I was? Did he care?

Because when I was fourteen, a carful of teenager boys pulled over and asked me if I wanted a lift. What on earth possessed them to do that? What part of their brains told them that that was a good idea? And what would have happened to me if I had said yes?

Because when I hear a whistle, or am the subject of a look that lingers way too long, I feel devalued. Great, you think I’m attractive. I’ll file that under things I don’t give a f*ck about and move on. By all means, take a look. I looked at you. We’re programmed to notice members of the opposite sex, or even members of the same sex if we are so inclined. But we are not programmed to behave like horny animals. We don’t grunt and mark our territory. We have evolved.

Let’s say we stop “pestering the men about their behaviour.” Let’s say we okay the wolf whistle. If we okay that, let’s okay the the comment on my skirt. Let’s okay the narrative on how hot my tits look today. Let’s okay the guy who touched my arse because I’m wearing tight pants. Let’s okay the guy who won’t take no for an answer because he bought me the drink and I had a cheeky pash with him.

It’s a slippery slope. Street harassment is not a compliment. It needs to stop being the norm. It is a crime.

Corina is a journalist who is currently in a Masters’ program in Professional Writing. Follow her work on social media: @BrandosBride, www.facebook.com/theirownbells, instagram.com/theirownbells

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“I shouldn’t have to fight anyone off”

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I was out one evening at a local pub, enjoying some live music with friends. We were off in a corner by ourselves, doing our own thing, dancing, and having a good time. A man came up to me and started dancing behind me. I sort of swayed for a minute while I debated my options and then I stepped forward and away from him. He grabbed my arm and pulled my back against him, pinning my arm to my chest. I pulled against him again and tried to pull away and he held onto my rest. Finally, my friends noticed what was happening and one of my male friends pulled me away from the guy and forced the guy to leave.

I’m not sure what I would have done had my friends not been there. The guy was drunk and wouldn’t let me go. I had bruises on my arm the next day and I was angry. What gives anyone the right to touch me without my consent? The fact that I’m a foot shorter than you, that I’m smaller than you, doesn’t give anyone the right to manhandle me.

It made me realize that I need to learn to protect myself, because I can’t use strength alone to fight someone off. The saddest part is, I shouldn’t have to fight anyone off. There is so much disrespect in putting hands on someone that never gave you permission to and it makes me so angry!

– ET

Location: Florida/Pub

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“I refrain from exercise to avoid it”

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Let me start with that I’ve recently lost a lot of weight, so I dress to flatter myself, not to gain attention. I’m finally comfortable in clothes and I feel good.

I went out for a jog tonight and was only out for about 30 minutes, but in that 30 minutes, 3 different people decided it was appropriate to honk, yell, or brake next to me. The guy that honked scared me, because I was focused and I just about face planted on the sidewalk, so that was the first man.

As I kept running, a man on a scooter pulled up alongside me and told me that “I was looking good!” When I ignored  him long enough, he finally kept driving and pulled over into a gas station in front of me. I booked it through there before he had a chance to talk to me.

The last guy slammed on his brakes and didn’t say anything, just stared until traffic pushed him along. Here’s my thing, I run because I want to be healthy. It’s for my benefit, not for anyone else’s, and I don’t appreciate being uncomfortable doing that or being at the gym. It’s dangerous for me to have people breaking my focus and concentration when I’m jogging or lifting weights by making stupid, sexist comments. I’m not trying to impress anyone, I’m trying to improve my life and it makes me angry that people take that away from me by making me uncomfortable enough that I refrain from exercise to avoid it.

– ET

Location: Florida/Gym/Sidewalk

 Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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