Today I was walking down the street and got a “Hey beautiful.” On other occasions I’ve had a guy try to lift up my skirt multiple times, others making kissy sounds and whispering absurd things at me, yelling across the street to get my attention, and whistling at me (just to name a few). It is really tiring and degrading to be constantly under this microscope and while living in NYC I even took the long way to work just to avoid walking a particular street with guys that would sit out in the mornings and catcall me. On a particularly frustrating day, I decided to pen this letter, and I thought it might be worth sharing:
Dear Men of the World,
When you catcall and whistle at me as I walk down the street minding my own business, I do not take it as a compliment. It makes me feel uncomfortable and angry to be so blatantly objectified and dehumanized. This is not a problem with the clothes I wear, or the way I do my make up; this is a problem of sexism and hypersexualization of women. Allow me to explain why.
When you look at me and whistle, catcall, make some comment on my appearance or say something dirty, you completely ignore my personhood. You look at my body, my figure, my face, and immediately judge me. You ignore the person that is inside and discredit their importance by only giving the exterior importance. By focusing solely on this exterior shell and drawing attention to the ways in which it pleases you, you sexualize what is for me a mundane walk down the street.
Similar to every single other human being, I am more than just my body. I have a personality, feelings, am an intelligent being, and so much more. When you draw attention to my body and make no effort to get to know those other, more important aspects of me, you take away their importance– and these aspects make me a person. So no, it is not a compliment and I do not find it flattering. If you wish to say something to me on the street, make it worthwhile because if you actually are interested in me, take the time to get to know me. If you are not, keep walking and please keep your words to yourself. I am more than just my legs, torso, rear-end, chest, etc. — mannequins and sex dolls have those parts as well, yet they are not humans. Some women may appreciate this attention, but I am not one of them and I am not alone.
This dehumanization of women based solely on their outward appearance is sexism. We’re people, not objects built solely to display clothes or sexually please men, so please do not treat us as such.
Sincerely,
A Woman
– S
Location: St. Louis, NYC, Baltimore, Newark, Granada (Spain), Lima (Peru), Santiago (Chile)
Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?
I think we should all speak about this. I feel like it is time that the victims tell anyone who will listen how it makes us feel.
