About a week ago, I confronted a couple of catcallers, for the first time in my life.

I was walking through the Scottsdale Hilton on the way to meet a friend who was visiting from Seattle. The open-air hallway took me past a portion of the pool patio, and as I walked by I heard whistling. A few times.

Not that it matters, but I was wearing conservative, professional, and loose-fitting attire and a pair of flats since I’d come straight from work.  Hair tied back, no makeup.

Normally I just ignore this shit because sometimes I feel like directing any energy, even negative energy, toward these idiots is somewhat of a reward system for them, but as I approached the building door I thought, “You know what, no.” I turned around, scanned the area and saw a single table with two late 20s/early 30s men sitting at it, surrounded by plenty of empty beer bottles. As I approached them, they smiled, half-drunkenly, half-incredulously; they must have thought I was going to give them my number or some kind of lap dance. I was almost expecting them to high-five each other because AW SHIT SHE’S COMING OVER, SCORE!

“Hi,” I said. “I notice you’re the only two people out here, and I’m the only person walking past. I just wanted to let you know when you whistle at women, it’s incredibly offensive and demeaning. I am a human being, not an object that exists for your viewing pleasure.”

“It’s okay, you’ll get over it.”

*commence internal rage*

“Well actually, no, you’ll get over it. Because as straight white males with enough money to stay at the Hliton, you have the privilege of being able to choice of how you address people around you. YOU get to make the choice. I don’t. So no, I won’t get over it. I’ve been dealing with it for years.”

At that point, I turned and walked away, and continued on to go meet my friend.  My heart was pounding, and my adrenaline was racing.  As much as those two douchecanoes made me want to SCREAM, it felt really good to be able to call them on it.  Honestly though, I wasn’t expecting such a quick retort from them.

So much work to be done…

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Get more male buy-in to combat street harassment and blatant sexism.  Some kind of campaign that encourages men to call out their peers instead of letting thing slide or shaking their heads/rolling their eyes being the most common way of expressing disapproval.

I really wonder what the response from these two would have been if my male friend, who is 6’4″”, 260 lbs, and covered in tattooes would have called them out on their behavior.

– Greta

Location: Hilton Scottsdale Resort, pool deck, Arizona

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas

In many car-centric cities around the U.S., riding a bike on a city street is equivalent to sticking a target on your back. Being a woman on a bike makes that target 10 times bigger and 10 times brighter.

As much as I love riding my bike, there are times when I feel unsafe and violated, such as when I pull up alongside a bus shelter and a man yells out, “Damn girl. Where you going? You must be riding a lot with an ass like that!” I can’t wait for the light to change so I can get the hell away from this situation.

I never know quite how to respond. A motorist rolls down his window to tell me how lucky my bike is to be ridden by me. I just smile and try to shrug it off, knowing who holds the power in this situation, Often I try to avoid potential situations altogether, changing routes where I know I often get yelled at or not riding at certain times. I once spent a summer as a pedicabber (one of my favorite jobs I ever had), but never took the night shifts after my boss warned me I’d probably be harassed by drunk male college students. Try as I might, street harassment cannot be avoided. A pedestrian once yelled, “I want to cum all over you” on a Sunday afternoon on one of Kansas City’s busiest streets. I didn’t know how to respond other than to break down in tears as I started to climb a hill.

I endure the catcalls on a daily basis and for the most part learn to live with it. But when a few weeks ago, one of my best friends got to work and started crying because a man yelled, “I want to suck your pussy,” on the ride in, I became furious. Words like that are violating and unjust. Too many women are getting hurt.

“No wonder women don’t want to ride bikes,” she said.

It is a well-known fact that women ride bikes at much lower rates than men. In 2009, women accounted for only 24% of all bicycle trips in the U.S. In addition, 24% of women refrain from exercising outdoors in general in order to avoid public sexual harassment and assault, according to the most recent report by Stop Street Harassment. A few bike advocacy groups nationwide have begun to recognize the importance of getting more women on bikes, by hosting forums and summits. For example, the Washington Area Bicycle Association recently hosted a workshop for female cyclists about fighting street harassment.

I do not have a choice when it comes to exercising outdoors as I do not own a car that I can use as a shield from harassment. My bike cannot camouflage the fact that I wear a skirt or a dress every single day–a fact many of my female friends sometimes have a hard time believing. “I try not to wear a skirt when I bike. I seem to attract more negative attention from men,” a friend once told me. I’m not going to let fear stop me from wearing what I want to wear. A woman on a bike is not eye candy for motorists, she is not riding for the attention or the praise. She is riding because she simply loves to ride her bike. She is a cyclist and the road is as much hers as it is yours.

Sexual harassment is not merely a “women’s issue.” It is a mobility issue. If women do not feel safe biking to work or to run simple errands to the grocery store, how can we expect them to pursue alternative modes of transportation? Just as cyclists have the same rights to the roads as motorists, women must have the same rights as cyclists as men.

Heavy traffic, debris in the road, and a lack of bicycle facilities would be enough to deter any woman from riding a bicycle. It is great that cities are beginning to invest more in building bike facilities, such as bike lanes to encourage individuals to use bicycles as a mode of transportation, but the issue of getting more women on bikes extends beyond infrastructure improvements. A bike lane is not going to make a woman feel much safer when she is going to be harassed every day. Without a dramatic change in culture, female cyclists will remain a minority on the landscapes of our streets, their targets still strapped firmly to their backs.

Rachel Krause is a cyclist who is active in the Kansas City bike community. She publishes a feminist bicycling zine called Velo Vixen.

I am 14 years old and heading into high school. I am becoming increasingly harassed on an occasional basis by grown men and older teenagers whenever I walk my dog or I am with my friends. I don’t deserve to be hollered, “Hey Baby!” whenever I walk in my neighborhood by a passing car. I don’t want to threaten to call the police to get them to stop after they cat-call multiple times. I want street harassment to end.

– Anonymous

Location: On the sidewalk normally; Southern FL

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas

This one might be unusual, but there’s a man who lingers outside the mall, who asks me for a date, out of the blue, with no previous eye contact or “welcoming signal” from me of any kind, each and every time I go to the area he lingers in. I say no, and he departs.

So why do I consider it harassment? Because I can’t escape being targeted by him, because he doesn’t care what I happen to be doing (as long as I am alone) and because I think one “no” should be enough. But when I brought it up to others, they had nothing but sympathy for the man, and told me his actions were “natural.”

Really? I’m sorry, but don’t I get a right to privately eat my lunch/text on my phone/stare off into space/do anything I wish without being “zeroed in on” by a man I’ve repeatedly rejected and never asked to approach me in the first place?

– Erika W

Location: Cambridge, MA

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas