This is not my story, but a friend showed me that she found this on Craigslist’s “Missed Connections.” This man’s perspective on what he can do to a woman and his thinking that she liked it is NYC street harassment epitomized. The full text has been copied below, and is also available here.

“You caught my attention when i saw you at w4 station when i was waiting for the F train. you walked by me and think you knew i was looking at you. we got in the same car n at some point of the ride i happened to be behind you. you had a hat, underneath (curly) hair parted around your neck. could see the bare back of the neck. it looked beautiful and i wanted kiss it so bad…. i couldnt. instead i blew my breath gently on it. i knew you could feel it and i think you liked it. we both got off on 2nd ave. i saw you climb the stairs cross the towards east and disappear. this is a looooong shot. hope you are reading this.”

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

I wish NYC had a campaign to raise awareness about the illegality of street harassment. Multiple times, I have responded to men who have harassed me or friends by calmly explaining that their behavior is sexist and illegal, only to be met with, “It’s a free country” followed by some derogatory term, usually “bitch” or “slut.” Men need to feel the pressure that this is punishable.

When I was 12, I was at a deli paying for my items. The man behind the counter asked for my “digits.” I froze and finally said no. He persisted and wouldn’t let me check out for a few minutes. I went home, extremely shaken and told my mom what happened. She went down and spoke to the manager and he assured her it wouldn’t happen again. Even so, I avoided that store like the plague… I was scared it would happen again; I wouldn’t even look in the window. I had been shopping there all my life and suddenly felt afraid to set foot inside.

– RE

Location: Upper West Side, NYC

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I was at the store, minding my business, when a man approached me and told me that I had “great birthing hips.” I turned around and told him that his comment was completely inappropriate and that he should probably never say it to anyone ever again.

This was the most violated that I have ever felt, but I was proud of myself for being able to stand up to him and say something. I deal with harassment on the streets pretty often, but this man took it to a new level. I couldn’t just walk away and not say anything.

– DA

Location: Denver, CO Grocery Store

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I am a young professional woman, I try to look presentable everyday and I don’t wear provocative clothes. However, I still experience street harassment on an everyday basis whenever I go out in public areas or walk in the streets of Metro Manila. I frequently experience honks, leers, whistles, comments, but sometimes they even try to bump me or walk close to me. I am just sick of these things happening to me. I get frustrated, I want to shout at them and insult them because I want them to be disrespected just like how they made me feel.

But I can’t because I am also scared so I choose to ignore them. But I really want to avoid these experiences so sometimes I don’t make an effort to look good, I try to dress awful to be unnoticeable, I feel bad so I would look bad and unattractive to men.

– J

Location: Metro Manila, Philippines

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Check out the new book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers!

I’m only sharing one story because the story is pretty much always the same.

It’s always at a gas station. It doesn’t matter which one or what time of day.

It happens as I’m walking from my car to the lobby to pay for gas. It happens on the way back to the car.

It happens when I’m by myself.

Telling someone they are beautiful may seem harmless or sweet. Yelling it at someone across the parking lot and telling them to “come over here and talk to me,” is not.

I’m just so sick of this shit. I’m sick of people brushing it off as “humble bragging” when you tell someone about it. It’s not “humble bragging.” It’s uncomfortable. It’s disgusting. It needs to stop.

I’m not your “shorty”, you can’t have my number, and you can’t hollar at me.

– Anonymous

Location: Olathe, KS

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
Check out the new book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers!