I was walking down the street late one Saturday morning. A man was pulling out of the driveway, he stopped, and looked at me. I presumed he was going to ask for directions, and since he was blocking my way, I stopped. He asked who I was and if I was staying with “Tony”. I was surprised and said no. He then said he would like to take me dancing and see me “in a skirt and nylons”. It’s not a totally new thing for me, but this was so direct I was shocked and couldn’t say anything.

I need to find some better snappy responses for next time.

– Ellie

Location: Watertown, MA

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I was walking home, alone, from having a beer with a friend when a guy at a bus stop stood up and got in my face. He said, “Damn, girl, you sexy as Hell.”

I tried to politely move around him and he screamed, “WELL, F*** YOU THEN, C***” at me and his friend grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

– jbrylah

Location: Hollywood and Wilmont, Los Angeles, CA

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Usually at six in the morning I set off for my classes, I ride in local public buses (according to international standard it will be considered a battered old mini-bus always cramped with at least 40 adults instead of 30 midget skinny teenagers which is its actual capacity). So every commuter is practically breathing in the others’ sweat.

There are seats reserved for women beside the driver and it may seem sexist but I enjoy this privilege immensely since I get the chance to sit. So I was sitting beside a fellow female commuter and a guy sitting opposite facing us was ogling at us as if he was given birth by a man. It was disconcerting, to say the least, and the other woman was wearing a burka covering herself from head to toe except for her face and I was covering myself my (head to abdomen except my face) with a big long dupatta or stole of my three piece (full sleeved) traditional dress. This is a particular non-descriptive drab dress which guarantees inattention which is why I have made it my bus riding uniform but no such luck seem there that day.

We had already reached our destination (the woman and I were getting off at the same place) and we did not get our change yet, so I got up and stood by the door of the cramped bus and the woman stood behind me.

There are two conductors in such buses, one who stands by the door, hauls in and out commuters by asking the driver to brake or accelerate and the other collects the fare. I asked the conductor standing by the door beside me to give me back my change so I can get off, he asked the other to pay me off. So I was standing sandwiched in the crowd of commuters when I started feeling something weird, the conductor had his fingers on and around my ‘v’. I was so startled the only reflex I managed was drag his hand away and held them until I got off. I told the story to the other woman she said that she too has been squeezed by the back from the conductor while getting off.

Except for asking Almighty to punish him appropriately, I could not scream, kick him in the shin or scratch his eyes out. Besides, what would have been the point of screaming, people would have asked me if I am sure I have been groped or felt his hand brushed past me?

– screechinraven

Location: Dhaka, Bangladesh

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I have been pushed once by a road side young man popularly called ‘agbaro’ and when i asked him why he pushed me, he ask me what am gonna do to him if he pushed me. Though i exchanged words with him and told him i was going to get him arrested but he was not moved by it. He asked me if i had enough money to feed myself before arresting him. I know i didn’t look hungry and neither was i. One thing that bothers me is if we (women) are the cause for our own harassment or these guys are just manless. I was dressed in a long sleeve shirt and a knee skirt.

There is hardly any day that i go out that some guy don’t say some thing or want to say some thing. I was not bothered but this incident was different because there was a strong physical contact. Now i have to keep a very serious look to scare them away though it doesn’t work for some as no matter how scary i try to make my face look, there is this thing about my looks that shows that am a calm person. I think an authority should be made to check sexual/ physical harassment for ladies and even men. I have had the opportunity to talk with a young man concerning sexual harassment.

Did you know that some men feel sexually harassed by some ladies? How do you mean? I asked. He said by their seductive dressing. He further said that men are moved sexually by what they see and women are moved sexually by touch and words. A person is addressed the way he/she is dressed but not in all cases though some people just have this bad behavior of harassment.

I just hope that some day, this whole harassment issue will come to an end.

I must say that i felt very bad that that i couldn’t do anything to him. I guess i will have to watch carefully the places that i pass through and the people that walk along side with me and most especially…my dressing.

– Camilla

Location: Port Harcourt, Nigeria

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