Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“Catcalling is not flattering”

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There is a construction crew next to my apartment, which is close to my school. I bike to and from school and my place, and twice while riding to school, I have been catcalled by the workers. The first time they called out, “Hey, bonita! (Hey, beautiful)!”

I ignored it. The second time just happened, and as I rode past them, one of them wolf whistled at me. I’m scared because they can probably see where I live because my apartment is within their eyesight. I’m scared that if I respond, or even if I don’t respond at all, one of them is going to get mad enough to follow me home.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

For construction crews, I would like to know how to contact their manager so I can tell him or her that the crew is being paid to work, not to harass people who pass them – especially women who are young enough to be their daughters. Catcalling is not flattering, it doesn’t make men look “macho,” it just makes them creepy.

– MB

Location: Dallas, Texas – Snider Plaza

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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“He has an audience for his choices”

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I began noticing that I was receiving unwanted male attention when I was a teenager. It made me feel dirty, taken advantage of, wrong, ashamed, and angry. I am surprised to find that at 30 years old, as a confident, empowered woman, it still makes me feel the same things.

The other day, I was wearing a sheer maxi skirt over shorts, waiting alone at a crosswalk. A turning truck featured a young man hanging out the window of his car gawking at me for a solid seven seconds. I went from enjoying a summer day to feeling exposed, horrified, and livid. I wished I had my boyfriend with me, and then thought, in 2018, I can’t believe that a woman would still want male accompaniment for protection.

I glared back at the young man, but it wasn’t enough. In street harassment exchanges, I always feel like they have the upper hand. What can I do to react quickly enough to make a statement to him and others that THIS IS NOT OKAY? To fight back and not feel powerless?

The very next day, I was walking back to our car from a nice restaurant, arm in arm with my boyfriend. My skirt was mid thigh and I wore low heels. A car pulled in from the road and a man honked at me and shouted, “Hey, you!”

I flipped him the bird and kept walking. Now I feel that I can’t wear what I want, what makes me feel stylish and beautiful, because of men. Not only do I not make myself pretty for men, I must make myself ugly because of them?

I am a tango dancer, but that night at class, I couldn’t dance with anyone. It affected my life, my passion, my hobbies, all because I felt so powerless. That my male friends would not understand. That my female friends would say “that’s life,” and “don’t wear short skirts.” I downloaded a wallpaper on my phone that says “F**K OFF!” that I can quickly flash at strangers. I don’t know how, but men need to be called on this shit.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

React – negatively. Let the offender know that he has upset you. Let the people around you know that he has misbehaved and you are not going to be quiet about it. Keep your eyes open and stand up for other women. If I so much as see a man checking out a lady, I will ostentatiously watch him. He needs to know he has an audience for his choices.

– Elizabeth M

Location: Dunwoody, Georgia

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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USA: Breaking the News about Street Harassment

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Elizabeth Kuster, Brooklyn, NY, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

Like most women, I’m out and about in public a lot — going to work, running errands, meeting friends downtown. And like most women, I get attention from men — young and old; white, black, Hispanic; well dressed and not — as I go about my daily routine. I’ve been whistled at and pinched. I’ve received thousands of “Hey, sexy”s and “Wanna f*ck?”s. I’ve been stared at. I’ve been followed. I’ve had my hair, breasts and behind stroked.

It has happened to me so often that I started to get used to it, told myself it was normal.

             “It’s just the city,” I said.

             “It’s what I was wearing,” I said.

             It’s no big deal,” I said.

I was wrong. It’s street harassment, and I’m not alone. It happens to millions of women every day. And it’s time we do something about it.

So began “Don’t ‘Hey, Baby’ Me: How To Fight Street Harassment,” the first-ever mainstream-media article on the subject, which I pitched and wrote for Glamour magazine in 1992. Since no studies about street harassment had been conducted at that time, I had to break up the subject into its various components and tackle each one individually. I covered aspects such as improper touch. Sexual profanities. Objectifying language. Physically intimidating behaviors such as staring and stalking. And I delved into how each of those male behaviors changed the way women behaved when they went out in public.

To get a chorus of women’s voices, I sent a shout-out to Glamour staffers and contacted friends, family and stringers in other states. I had 10 of them keep street-harassment diaries for seven days, listing every single comment, look or gesture they received. To debunk the myth that what you wear invites harassment, I and several other women from Glamour were photographed on the street in our regular clothes, after which each of us set off alone for a different New York City neighborhood, where we, too, detailed the incidents of street harassment we received.

I called the NYPD press office, told them what I was working on, and was forwarded to a male police officer — who proved to be so patronizing that I didn’t even quote him in my article. Incredulous at being interviewed by someone from Glamour in the first place, he literally laughed at my questions and said — and this I did quote in the piece — “Street comments are not a serious problem.”

I interviewed Naomi Wolf, feminist author of The Beauty Myth. “Our taxes go for the upkeep of parks and streets, but women do not own full use of them because of street harassment,” she said.

I interviewed Callie Khouri, the screenwriter who’d taken the world by storm with her Oscar-winning script for the feminist blockbuster Thelma & Louise. “A woman who enjoys being yelled at on the street is a woman who has been socialized to think that she is valued and defined by her sexuality,” she said.

I interviewed Carol Brooks Gardner, a professor of sociology and women’s studies and author of the book Passing By: Gender and Public Harassment. “I’ve talked to [many] women who complained to police officers who were right there and saw what happened, yet they didn’t do anything,” she said.

I interviewed D.C. police officer Patricia Harman, author of the newly published book The Danger Zone: How You Can Protect Yourself from Rape, Robbery and Assault. “[Harassers] have watched their fathers do it, their brothers do it. The only way we’re going to get a handle on it is if we start with the next generation,” she said.

And I interviewed Cheris Kramarae, a professor of speech communication and sociology. “Organized anger will eventually make a difference,” she said.

You can read my article in its entirety via my online portfolio. I’m still proud of it. At the time, it received critical acclaim — and a respectable landslide of reader mail, mostly from women who had their own street-harassment stories to tell. They were grateful, at long last, to finally have a name for the discrete and difficult-to-describe form of sexual abuse they’d been enduring out in public all their lives.

Feminist Apparel and Pussy Division sign in NYC, 2015

Oh, how I wish social media had existed at the time! Had I been able to start a #StopStreetHarassment initiative back then, we might not still be dealing with the issue today.

Elizabeth pitched and wrote the very first mainstream-media article about street harassment. She has held full-time editorial positions at publications such as Glamour, Seventeen and The Huffington Post and is author of the self-help/humor book Exorcising Your Ex. You can follow Elizabeth on Twitter at @bethmonster.

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“I rerouted my way home”

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I was walking home from school (only a few blocks) and was whistled at… it made me feel uncomfortable and I was so close to being in front of my house that I rerouted my way home so that this person wouldn’t know where I lived. It made me feel unsafe and very angry. It made me sad for anyone else who has had a similar experience.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Support each other. Spread awareness that this behavior is totally unacceptable and should NOT be normalized.

– Anonymous

Location: Salt Lake City, UT

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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“I was in shock the whole night”

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I was just finishing my shopping trip in NYC. I just left the store. I was wearing a light jacket and I had a small backpack on my back. I was holding one shopping bag from a store that is not a high end store at all. I wasn’t even all dressed up-I was wearing super casual clothes, my hair was in a bun and I just had eyeliner on. I looked super innocent. I did absolutely nothing and said nothing to anyone to have caused anything to have happened.

It’s kind of a blur in my mind how it all started, but all I could remember was someone cursing at me right when I left the store and was walking on the sidewalk. And then I think I kind of froze in fear because I didn’t know what to do. Then I was petrified that this person was going to hurt me, so I had my shopping bag all ready as my defense mechanism…I clearly wasn’t thinking at first.

Thank goodness my senses kicked in after that, and I then started to shriek and I ran as fast as I could. I ran into the first store that was still open because there were no cops on that street to be found. I told the store owners that I was seeking safety in their store. I was in such shock, my entire body was shaking like crazy and my heart was pounding so hard and fast.

The store owner asked me what happened and what the person looked like. I tried my best to recall, but it was a blur in my head. I don’t even know if it was a girl or boy. I was just really grateful that the store owner was really nice and he went outside to see if he could find anyone suspicious. He didn’t really know who to look for because I couldn’t describe the person to him. I then ubered home.

I was still shaking and my heart was still racing. Boy was I scared. I was in shock the whole night and then only a few hours it happened I started to cry from fear and shock of what happened.

I am tearing as I type this. I am still really traumatized from what happened. It feels good though to get this off my chest.

– Anonymous

Location: Broadway Street, NYC

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

Share