Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“I don’t exist for you”

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This is in response to the “Stop Seeking Male Attention” post on the Stop Street Harassment website. The entire article makes a great deal of sense to me, and I agree with it. But the last line really stood out for me because I did use the phrase mentioned against a harasser way before this post, and yes, got a STRONG reaction to it!

I think it’s great that this concept of not seeking male attention is being aired and brought to the light. It’s a shame that all females are taught to seek this type of validation from such a young age, but hey, at least now we’re challenging that training. Life without the constant interruption of the male gaze/and or comment can be pretty peaceful. I get to experience this peace only when I visit places that are less urban/metropolitan and that are more about nature and enjoying the land than interacting with people.

That phrase “I don’t exist for you”? It tickles me to see that printed in the above referenced article because it is EXACTLY what I said to a really aggressive harasser trying to demand my attention at a bus stop recently. I had already responded to his initial leering (he started the nasty “evaluation staring” from way down the block as he approached) and comments about me to his buddies with my patented, “I will kill u, you a**hole” look and also told him to leave me the hell alone.

When I said “I don’t exist for you! Keep walking!” he got livid! He didn’t know how to respond but was mad as hell! He and his buds did walk away (after standing there staring stupidly for a few more seconds), but when the bus came he was back and defiantly trying to look through the bus window to see me and show me that he was going to assert his right to “own me visually” regardless of what I said. I guess it took a few minutes for him to figure out what “I don’t exist for you” really meant. Once he did, he came back and really tried to fight my assertion, even if he had to do it in the silliest way. He looked absolutely ridiculous craning his neck from the sidewalk trying to see where I sat on the bus to try to still harass me. Crazy!

But, yes, “I don’t exist for you” is powerful. Many men don’t even begin to have that thought in any corner of their brain. It goes against everything they’ve been taught in regards to women. I will say it constantly now! 😉

– Yvonne

Location: 60th St and 5th Ave, Manhattan, NY

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Street Harassment Campus Talks!

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James Madison University's Sister Speak Group brought me to their campus in Virginia

My first year of college was a rude awakening to the commonality of street harassment. While I’d faced incidents before, in college, street harassment became a nearly daily experience. I faced honking, whistling and comments from men when I walked, ran, or took the bus. A few weeks into my first semester, a man groped me on the street two blocks from campus as I stood outside a friend’s house at night. It was very upsetting.

Sadly, my experiences are not unique. Street harassment is a problem on and around college campuses nationwide.

Over the past two years, I’ve given talks about street harassment on more than 20 college campuses, from Stanford in California to Central Connecticut State University, from the University of Iowa to Georgia College & State University. I even gave a talk at the University of Alaska, Anchorage, and it’s a problem there! At every campus, students share story after story about the harassment they’ve experienced. We talk about why it happens, the impact it has on our lives, and ideas for activism.

Here is an excerpt from a newspaper article about my talk at Pacific Lutheran University in Washington state this past February:

“Sophomore Kate Pritchard said she had never experienced street harassment before coming to PLU.

“Coming to college,” Pritchard said, “I’ve experienced a lot of it, and so this is something that’s relevant, I felt, to the PLU community.”

During the lecture, Kearl discussed techniques for addressing street harassment and emphasized telling harassers their actions are offensive.

Sophomore Katie Giseburt said she found these techniques for handling street harassment particularly interesting because ‘it just would be very startling and then you could follow up with, you know, ‘Don’t harass women.’ Just having those tools and knowing them already and being able to mentally prepare and visualize is extremely helpful.’

Sophomore Jessica Simmons said the lecture taught her street harassment can lead to sexual assault.

‘It’s not just something that we can ignore and say, ‘Well, you just need to deal with it or buckle down or walk away as fast as you can,’’ Simmons said. ‘It is something that we need to really confront. Everyone needs to take a stand and say, you know, ‘This isn’t okay. You can’t do this.’”

If you’re interested in bringing me to your campus this year for a talk or to lead a workshop, let me know! I can focus on the topic generally, look at international issues, and/or focus on activism and ways to respond.

I have many more examples of activism that works after my own experiences this spring helping bring an anti-sexual harassment campaign to the Washington, DC Metro system and using a Change.org petition to bring down an offensive pro-street harassment sign at a mall in New Jersey. Also, I organized International Anti-Street Harassment Week in March and more than 100 groups from 21 countries participated in some way and can speak about why the week is important and what different groups did to raise awareness in their communities.

So do reach out if you’re interested in a campus talk about street harassment this year!

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Snapshot of street harassment stories, news, announcements & tweets: July 8, 2012

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Nefsi chains against sexual harassment in Egypt

Read stories, news articles, blog posts, and tweets about street harassment from the past few weeks.

** Sign up to receive a monthly e-newsletter from Stop Street Harassment ***

Street Harassment Stories:

Share your story! You can read street harassment stories on the Web at:

Stop Street Harassment Blog

HarassMap in Egypt

Bijoya in Bangladesh

Resist Harassment in Lebanon

Ramallah Street Watch in Palestine

Name and Shame in Pakistan

Safe Streets in Yemen

Many of the Hollaback sites

Street Harassment In the News, on the Blogs:

* International Herald Tribune, “A History of Mob Violence“

* The Guardian, “Sexual harassment on public transport must stop“

* Gradient Lair, “Me. Black Men. Street Harassment. White Audience.”

* Mercury News, “Opinion: Egypt’s new president faces a test on violence against women“

* Sapphire Unbound: A Black Womanist Scholar Speaks her Mind, “Sexuality and Hair: The Day I became unwomanly and a butch“

* Trust.org, “Health and Science – The unromantic truth about ‘Eve-teasing’”

* Pygmy Loris, “Intimidation should not be a normal part of a woman’s daily routine“

* The Hindu, “Police to take steps to curb eve-teasing“

* The Nation, “Eve teasing in public parks on the rise“

* The Daily Star, “Egypt women speak up against sexual violence“

* Gradient Lair, “6 Common Derailment Tactics Used In Conversations About Street Harassment and Sexual Assault“

* Pro-Feminist Bro, “Street Harassment“

* XO Jane, “It happened to all of us: why casual sexual assault needs to stop being ‘just one of those things‘”

* Grazia Daily, “From Cat-Calling to Groping, Street Harassment is Everywhere…And It Happened to Me“

* Capitol Hill Style, “Discuss: The Catcall Conundrum“

* Al Jazeera, “Sexual violence rises in Egypt’s Tahrir“

* Al-Ahram, “Speaking up and speaking out“

* Egypt Independent, “Egypt women speak up against sexual violence“

* Ahram Online, “Breaking the silence: Mob sexual assault on Egypt’s Tahrir“

* Global Voices, “Egypt: Protest Sends Message Against Sexual Harassment“

* Heather is Desperate for Something, “Street Harassment”“

* Daily News Egypt, “Protest against sexual harassment encourages public dialogue“

* Bikya Masr, “Cover up, he can’t help himself“

Announcements:

New:

* Write about your first street harassment experience as part of Blank Noise (India)’s Recall event.

Reminders:

* If you’re in London and are willing to share your street harassment experiences, contact a student doing research there! INFO.

* @RapeCrisisSth New research project on #streetharassment for the women off South London. Interested? Contact @rosie_ts or visit http://bit.ly/LabScF

* If you’re in Winnipeg, Canada, take this survey on street harassment.

* Activists in South Africa launched a new website about street harassment

* The anti-sexual harassment public service announcement signs are now up in several Washington, DC metro stations!

* Help fund a new film about street harassment

* The Stop Street Harassment book is available in paperback for $15.

* Submit art about street harassment for the VoiceTool Product exhibit in San Francisco, CA

* The Adventures of Salwa campaign has a hotline for sexual harassment cases in Lebanon: 76-676862.

* In Bangalore, India, there is a helpline for street harassment 080 – 22943225 / 22864023

* Report #streetharassment in Pakistan at @NameAndShamePk, email nameandshame@ryse.pk, SMS 0314-800-35-68 or online at http://www.nameandshame.pk

20 Tweets from the Week:

1. @PsteinND Ladies, if you get in a taxi in #Cairo & the driver has a broken middle finger, get out. Was just groped in #Zamalek, he deserved it. #EndSH

2. @YLigtelijn . @monaeltahawy The only way men stop SH is when public and political leaders openly and firmly denounce it and punish aggressors. #EndSH

3. @sotsoy brilliant! “@IbnLarry: The Egyptian government should establish the same program #endSH http://yfrog.com/ocrn6ngj”

4. @ClareBonnet when will people GET that ‪#streetharassment‬ is a violation and it is not acceptable? will it be in my generation? or will my future kids

5. @SuzeMarsupial I think pub harassment is probably as endemic as ‪#streetharassment‬ . Just cause we’re making merry, doesn’t mean we deserve it.

6. @MaduduzoR Policemen harassing women on the street!! ‪#streetharassment

7. @HollaBackBmore Wanna tell the MTA about ‪#StreetHarassment‬ on the bus? ‪#RateYourRide‬ call or text: 410-205-4559. http://ow.ly/c2M8f

8. @ghazalairshad Pls RT & help @noornoor1 find the Egyptian sexual harasser who drives a navy VW Jetta w/plate # ط ق ل ٧٨٤ https://www.facebook.com/noor.ayman/pos … ‪#endSH‬

9. @sallyzohney To avoid harassment and wear her sleeveless shirts my friend pretends 2 b a foreigner and it works! Men let her be. Insane ‪#endSH

10. @NihalSaad male: I am a human being, not an animal female: I am a human being, not a bra. ‪#ENDSH‬ pic.twitter.com/CXi1JYZb

11. @michabalon Don’t tell me its my clothes and don’t tell me its hard for ‘them’ to get married and don’t tell me it doesn’t happen. It happens. ‪#endSH

12. @suzeeinthecity Anyone blaming ‪#egypt‬ sexual harassment on religious conservatism should take walk on Tripoli streets &experience the theory refuted ‪#endSH

13. @cliffcheney ‘Safe Tahrir for Women’ Protest begins chanting. ‪#endSH‬ ‪#Egypt‬ ‪#Tahrir‬ ‪#cairo‬ http://twitvid.com/KIC0B

14. @michabalon Standing with a gun filled with pepper spray in ‪#Tahrir‬ against sexual harassment. ‪#endSH‬ pic.twitter.com/1Lly5TrJ

15. @marxroadrunner Oh joy men trying to out macho each other and deciding to use street harassment as a way to do so.

16. @HermasFawzy For years, Egyptian ‪#women‬ have put up with ‪#sexual‬ harassment, simply for walking down the street. no more silence !!

17. @aliciapees so this just happened on fb. my reply didn’t post. probably lucky it didn’t tbf… ‪#streetharassment‬ ‪#MISOGYNY‬ pic.twitter.com/RcZY4o1i

18. @Nicole_Pandolfo Also, why does it seem like sexual harassment on the street is accepted by society as a fact rather than being seen as totally outlandish?

19. @ShareefaEnergy Love this street harassment placard held by a woman in Libya, this applies internationally http://yfrog.com/odhmhgbj

20. @Mkpinbrooklyn It starts early, and it is not a compliment ‪#streetharassment

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Woman in London successfully stops harassers at two construction sites

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Jen's photo

This was a conversation thread on the Stop Street Harassment Facebook page about how a woman in London successfully stopped harassers at two different construction sites! She said I could post the information on the blog, too:

Jen Beaty-Love: Almost every day, I walk past a construction crew working on St. Bart’s hospital in the St. Paul’s area of central London. Almost every day, there is one worker who is aggressively creepy towards women and encourages his otherwise generally neutral co-workers to participate or smirk along. Today, he flustered a young woman so badly, she tripped, twisted her ankle, and walked away looking like she was going to cry. I noticed a comment card and took one, called the number listed and managed to get a photo of the main guy.

If anyone is experiencing the same problem, please call Skanska at 0800 028 1323.

Stop Street Harassment: i’m sorry this is happening to you, good for you for complaining! is it okay if I post your text and the two photos in a blog post so more people can see it and hopefully call?

Jen's comment card

Jen Beaty-Love: Yes, of course. I have to say Skanska is handling it very well. I dug around on their website, found the Head of External Communications, a woman named Tanya Barnes, and sent her en email. She promptly replied to me and has been passing my message and photo along to her colleagues and touching base with me along the way. I really appreciate it and feel they’re actually taking the claim seriously.

Jen Beaty-Love: Now if someone with the project at 199 Bishopsgate would do the same. Men on scaffolding shouting down at women on the sidewalk? Also not okay.

Jen Beaty-Love: ‎”Dear Jen, further to our earlier correspondence, I want to let you know that the investigation has begun and whilst we carry our the investigation, the individual is not currently working at our site.

Once again, than you for bringing this to our attention. Our Project Director and I would be more than happy to meet with you if you wish? Best, Tanya”

Stop Street Harassment: This is great news! it’s a slow blog day because of the American holiday but I will put this on the blog tomorrow, including the correspondence w/the head of external communications, if that’s okay. well done for speaking out and doing something!!

Jen Beaty-Love:Thanks. I’m actually a fairly recent American transplant and am pleasantly surprised at the way this has been handled. In Texas (where I’m originally from) especially, it’s hard to have someone give this any real attention or consideration. I tracked down the source of the other construction site harasser (who was less aggressive and more clueless/annoying) and actually received an apology from the man himself as well as the company.

Jessica BarnOwl: Reading about your positive experiences with these situations makes me wish the U.S. would become a little more “progressive” when it comes to stuff like this. It’s almost as if it’s just an accepted part of society here. I’m glad this has been handled so well there!

Jen Beaty-Love: I hope the rest of the country (or even London) is more like this. I haven’t been here long enough to really say. It seems a bit better on the surface, but it’s hard to say in this instance. This neighborhood is the edge of the financial district and most of the people here during the day are wealthy and connected. I do think Skanska has done a stellar job regardless, but what it means for the overall culture remains to be seen.

UPDATE:

Jen Beaty-Love: In the second location, the harasser’s boss emailed me personally to tell me what actions were taken and that the man in question was very sorry. He then asked if I felt more discipline was needed. I think in this case the man was not fully aware of how unwanted his comments really are, so I asked that only a warning be given and sent an email breaking down a few reasons why the attention is harassment and not flirtation. Hopefully this can be a teachable moment.

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