It’s happened to me more than once in my life. The first time, I was on the CTA on a train headed to school, and a guy was staring at me and touching himself, but I couldn’t see him doing that because he was behind a seat, so it was just his eyes that were freaking me out initially. I finally realized what he was doing and got off that car and went onto another. I was really upset. I was about 13.

Then, in between the other CTA incidents, which are all similar and involve men in states of arousal sitting there waiting to be discovered, I’ve ridden my bike and had catcalls happen (this is on the streets of Chicago), walked down the street minding my own business, all on the North Side to Downtown Chicago. It happened once in a pizza place and it was relentless, to the point where I started crying, but I did stand up for myself. They insisted it was a compliment and I told them it was absolutely not appropriate and that I was sick of hearing it.

– DS

Location: Chicago, IL

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My friend and I were laughing and having a good time in Times Square while waiting for some friends to go to dinner. We were sitting on those little red chairs they have right on 42nd and Broadway. When we rose up to leave, this strange man blocked our path and regurgitated a familiar phrase we always heard, “Hello ladies, would you like to see a comedy show?” He was standing too close for comfort, practically breathing in our faces. We stood there silently for a few minutes before my friend responded politely but firmly, “No, we were just leaving.”

Instead of allowing us to leave, he blocked our path. I had never seen one of these comedy show promoters “track down” people who were getting up to leave. Usually they stood on the sidewalks, calling out to whoever passed by. Instead, this hideously arrogant creeper (I call him hideous because that’s what he was – an awful person), decided to approach us and violate our personal space. He said flirtatiously, while still blocking our path, “Where are you going?” My friend politely answered, “To eat,” but his lack of boundaries made me distinctly uncomfortable. I answered just as firmly, “You don’t need to know that” in an attempt to get rid of him.

“I AM NOT GOING TO FOLLOW YOU!” he called obnoxiously after me as we finally managed to walk past him. “JEEZ, WHAT LIT THE FUSE ON YOUR TAMPON?!”

Yes, because if I dare to speak out, I must be PMSing, right? Listen, hideous creeper: you are a nobody who thinks they can silence women and who thinks that his needs and wants are more important than my needs and wants. Let me tell you something: they’re not. I have a right to feel safe, I have a right to not have my path blocked, and I have every right not to see a comedy show and get rude comments from an ignorant misogynistic fool such as yourself. You won’t silence me. You won’t force me to be polite if YOU’RE not showing me the same respect. No wonder you feel the need to harass complete strangers – no self-respecting woman would probably approach you of their own volition, am I right? Uneducated, ignorant, misogynistic – you are the holy trio of what is wrong with the world. You are the type of ugly that lights the fuse on my “tampon,” as you say. The type of ugly that doesn’t seem to go away.

PMS – Pushy Men on the Street, BACK OFF.

– PushyMenonStreet(PMS indeed)

Location: Times Square, NYC

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This story might sound silly compared to many others, but I was fifteen at the time and am now 20 so it’s stuck with me for some reason. I was on a cruise with my family, walking back from dinner alone when a few guys I had passed started calling out to me. One said hello, to which I remember smiling back at but not saying anything because I was pretty shy and alone. He then said something like, “Oh so I’m not good enough for you” and I just kept on walking.

He and a couple of his other friends started following me, forcing me to use the stairs because I didn’t want them to catch up with me. They followed me all the way back to my room, which was pretty far from where they originally were, all while calling things at me.

Thankfully, by the time I got to my room the room steward saw and recognized me and we started talking. Seeing this the guys following me immediately turned and walked away. I don’t know what would have happened if the steward hadn’t been there and I’d like to assume nothing would have – but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t terrified. I was fifteen and was embarrassed and didn’t have a clue of what to do.

They weren’t paying me a compliment or trying to get to know me, instead they were practically chasing after me. I think its really important for young girls to know how to act in those situations and to try to avoid them entirely, because I definitely did not.

– Anonymous

Location: A Cruise ship

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A man stopped me on my lunch break at work and made such explicit, aggressive commentary I ended up hiding in a convenience store and calling a female coworker to come pick me up in her car and drive me back to the office so I didn’t have to walk back. It was less than two blocks, but I was afraid he was still out there.

Then there was the time a car full of two men and one woman chased me down in a parking lot to try and get me to agree to date one of the passengers. I think it was a prank against him, because he looked like a deer in the headlights. That makes it even more offensive and bewildering.

Too many stories to tell them all in detail. I used to like to take walks in nice weather. I’m not entirely comfortable with that any more.

I find telling people I’m a lesbian in a long term exclusive relationship (which is true) doesn’t help a bit. Actually, that tends to make it all worse. I’m a big girl, and my style of dress is pretty average, designed for comfort, not allure. About half the time when I’m harassed I get the impression the perps think I should be grateful they find me attractive. The other half of the time they just start out by calling me a cow through the car window and moving on.

– Bridgie

Location: Suburbia

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I was a teen, I developed early and had what many harassers termed “a black ass.” Almost every day, especially in the summer, and even more especially because we lived right on the edge of what was considered a “bad” neighborhood, I heard it all. I tried to just ignore it, I mean, I was just walking up to get a slurpee, not looking for some bizarre hook up. What made it even worse was my little brothers were with me, what kind of message did this send?

To this day, I think one of them continued this kind of message, and there is no way to talk to him about it now, and he has his own daughter, a little beauty, I wonder how he handles it now. I know I was embarrassed, and felt like a piece of meat, and I had no one in my life to make it better. My mom said take it as a compliment, and my dad told me if I didn’t have such a round ass it wouldn’t happen.

I didn’t even realize it affected me for a long time, didn’t even realize it was wrong. Thank you for the validation.

– DKR

Location: Newport News, VA

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