I’m not exactly sore how this happened, but… I actually was diagnosed with psychosis after I was upset because of harassment.

It was the summer of 2005, the happiest summer of my life, a week before my sophomore year in high school began.

I was a plain dresser, but I decided to wear a long pale green chiffon skirt and a shirt with sequin flowers, when I went to buy some candy and lend a movie from the library.

When I walked through a small square, this pretty normal- looking man glared at me and said in a grumpy voice, “Nice boobs”.

I was absolutely horrified, and couldn’t do nothing else than put um my middle finger. He did the same with both of his hands, called me a “fucking asshole” and started roaring to the sky, “All women are whores!”

The memory still bothered me; even after all these years, I still hear his voice. I still hear him even in my dreams.

It’s so weird, only a silly little comment about my boobs and I completely flew over the cuckoo’s nest; I have been in a mental hospital three times and have attempted suicide.

I think the reason is that I have been troubled a lot in my life, so to say, the seed of the mental illness I suffer from had been planted at me at a early age and the harassment made it bloom.

That’s why I fight the good fight. I’m a one woman army, and I will NOT give up!

– Miia Ylitalo

Location: Vantaa, Finland

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When I was 14 I used to walk to a 711 by my house with my best friend Christian and the attendant would give me free cigarettes. If Christian came in with me the man wouldn’t sell to us but if I was alone he would always just give me a pack for free. I always said hi and was friendly because at that age I thought he was just being generous and I felt cool being able to have cigarettes. I never suggested anything at all I don’t think I even knew what being provocative meant.

One evening I went in like always and simply asked if I could have cigarettes. The attendant came from behind the counter wrapped his arms around me and demanded a kiss, when I refused he tried licking the back of my neck. I started screaming and warned him my friends were outside waiting for me (which they were). He told me I was his blonde dream wife and I screamed louder. He let go and ran to the back of the store, I haven’t been back in 5 years.

– Anonymous

Location: Chicago, Illinois

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I was riding the M train back from an appointment downtown back to school. It was rush hour and the train was completely packed. This was my first day riding the Muni by myself. A middle age man, maybe early thirties, made a space for me on the bus, which I thought was very nice of him since I’m sure he could tell I was in a hurry. We began having small talk, mostly about how crowded the bus was. As people began departing from the bus we were able to move. I moved to the back wall of the train where the routes poster is displayed. I had stopped talking with him so I didn’t think it would be rude to put my headphones in and begin listening to music. I stood against the wall with my hands around my purse which I had rested on my legs. The man was standing next to me. And even though the train had become less crowded it was still too crowded to move with ease.

The man began scooting closer to me. I didn’t think anything of it. Although it made me uncomfortable I chalked it up to how crowded the bus was. He then grabbed my hand, I shook him off. When he made the motion to do it again I put my bag on my shoulder and my hands behind my back. I thought that would be enough of a hint however I was wrong. He then took his forearm and began rubbing them up and down my breasts. I froze, I should have walked away but I couldn’t move. It was like I was seeing it from above. On top of that no one did anything. Even though on a train your surround by people they are all in their own worlds attempting to have as minimal contact with those around them. After the next station stop he finished. The entire rest of the time he was on the train I was so fearful. I understood that I would not be able to leave the train until he got off. I did not want him to follow me. Luckily he got off two stops before mine.

Every time I get on the bus or train I know make sure to dress in a way that is attracting the least attention, which I call the bus rule. I always try to leave with a group with at least one man. I will not enter the bus during rush hours, especially by myself. I am always very aware of my surroundings. But most of all I am fearful. I should be able to be independent and feel safe to get what I need to done but that is not the world which I live in. I hope that can change one day. I truly do believe that sharing stories is the first step in that process.

– AU

Location: M train San Francisco, California

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After dealing with post-traumatic stress and depression brought on by an attempted rape I had put on a bit of weight and felt I needed to get back in shape. Since I was out of work I relished the thought of getting stuck into something physical so I joined a Virgin Active gym down the road from me.

Well, I had an initial training session with a personal trainer to show me ropes, and during my session I had a group of three guys staring at me whilst doing a medicine ball workout and they were making inappropriate comments (which the trainer laughed at). I ignored it.

The next time I went to work out I was on my own and 20 mins in I was on an exercise bike and a group of men hanging around the weights started calling out to me across the room things like “hey, darling!” “hey, sexy, why are you ignoring me?!” and they wouldn’t let up. I didn’t know what to do. It was a Sunday evening and the place was pretty empty. I just ignored them at first then got up and left.

I never went back.

I didn’t want to cancel my membership because I desperately wanted to go to the gym, but I was too scared to go alone. I ended up cancelling my membership after 9 months of battling with myself. I’m still too scared to go back. I needed my own space. I was recovering from a sexual assault and I needed to heal. I never got that chance. I barely go out now. I want to, but I know what will probably happen so I don’t bother.

– Gretch

Location: Virgin Active, Derby, UK

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