I was walking home from the market with my younger sister, a very crowded market, Chandni Chowk in Delhi. It was around 6 p.m. in the evening, which is not at all late to be out.

A guy coming from the front groped me and when I pushed him back, even before i could say something he slapped me hard and started hitting me. The whole market (including men and women) just watched in amusement..as if it was some kind of an entertainment show going on.

I tried to fight back but the guy was just too huge and strong for me. I was all bruised and bleeding and what hurt me more wasn’t physical but the fact that no one came for my help. In the meanwhile my sister had called my dad, my house was just 2 minutes from there.

Dad came and he started hitting the guy. He ran away..the cops came but nothing happened. Like i said..he ran away.

I couldn’t use the same road for like a month or so. I still feel so scared when i leave home because the incident happened right in front of my house.

And the worst part is no one came for my help…they were people who see me daily leaving for college. And no one helped.

I feel so vulnerable now. It’s like anyone can do anything to me and no one will ever come forward to help me.

I’ts a curse being born a woman in this world. Every day i get eve teased and trust me even if it’s just passing comments..it is a mental torture. When men call out from behind that they want to fuck you or some one comments on your ass or your boobs. As if women are a sex object.

One can’t even ignore it..my parents don’t support me, they say just ignore..but how? I can’t ignore.

– Nasreen

Location: Chandni Chowk, Delhi, India

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I was just thinking about the “first” time I was harrassed, and wondered if others might like to share the first time they experienced this rather bizarre behaviour.

I now think that the first time I was harassed in this way was not actually on the street, but while I was waitressing when I was only about 16. A customer waved me over and said, “Tell me, how did you get such broad shoulders?”

This weird comment still strikes me as a really odd thing to say to a person, let alone a young female. I didn’t know how to react. I still don’t, a decade on.

To me this sort of thing comes under the umbrella of street harassment because it is an assessment of the physical features of a woman by a complete stranger she hasn’t spoken two words to.

What’s bizarre, and perhaps more infuriating, is that this oaf decided to make his rude assessment in the form of a question, which demands to be dignified with a response, even though, on the surface it is entirely rhetorical. How are you supposed to answer that?

Do any other people remember their first experiences of street harassment? How did you feel about it at the time and how have your feelings changed over time?

– Amber

Location: A work

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I’m in Tampa, Florida, for the national NOW conference. This evening, I went for a five mile run near the USF campus. Within the first two miles, I was harassed twice by men going by in their cars.

I also witnessed a man in a car harass a young woman at a bus stop located on the edge of campus. As I approached her, I paused and asked her if he had just harassed her (based on her upset expression, I gathered that he had) and she said, “Yeah, I think so. That’s the third time he’s driven by and done that.”

I offered her a few words of comfort and said if he came by again, she could always tell him to stop harassing her. But she didn’t look too sure about that idea. Probably in part because besides the two of us there were no pedestrians as far as you could see in either direction, just cars, so she may not have felt safe responding. I understand that. I also should have mentioned to her that she could write down his license plate number and try reporting him, but I forgot to in the spur-of-the-moment-ness of the encounter.

A minute after I left her, a bus passed me and when I turned around, I saw it pull over and pick her up, so at least that man couldn’t harass her for a fourth time.

Despite all that I know about responding to street harassers, I tend to be the person who freezes when it happens, including when I see it happen to someone else, so I’m happy that didn’t freeze and I stopped when I saw it happen. Even though I didn’t have a chance to intervene or prevent the harassment, I hope I helped the young woman feel less alone and less upset by talking with her. And honestly, since I faced two of my own harassers, it also made me feel less alone to talk with her. (Very sad, that two out of the two women on the street got harassed, huh?)

If you see someone whose been harassed, even if you can’t do anything to stop or prevent it, consider asking if they are okay and that may make a difference and help them feel less alone.

To help you be a good bystander, here are bystander tips and success stories. And also, consider donating to the Hollaback I’ve Got Your Back bystander campaign.

– Holly

Location: North 50th Street, by USF, Tampa, Florida

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