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“Hey, back there when someone yelled ‘nice ass’ at you… that was me!”

April 1, 2011 By Contributor

My classics from the college years…

I worked for a concert promoter and one night I was waiting outside a rock club to pass out fliers to the people exiting. It was cold, like it is in Chicago. So I had on a big coat. The bouncer let me come into the foyer to get out of the cold, where I took off my coat and he felt it appropriate to say, “I thought you were cute before, but after you took off your coat, I thought, damn, you’ve got a bangin’ bod!”

Walking down the stairs of the L train station in my neighborhood, I heard someone behind me yell, “Hey! Nice ass! NICE ASS!” I hoped against hope that it wasn’t directed at me. I didn’t look back to see. After I exited the station, a man came up to me and tapped me on the shoulder. He said, “Hey, back there when someone yelled ‘nice ass’ at you… that was me! THAT WAS ME!” I was really surprised by his excitement at telling me that he was, in fact, the grotesque man cat-calling me. Until, of course, he explained to me that you are supposed to say ‘thank you’ when someone gives you a compliment. Where were my manners? Then he asked if he could walk me home, to which I declined.

Standing on the corner of Western and Addison, in the winter, snow on the ground, puffy winter coat down to my knees, a man in an SUV made a left turn onto Addison and rolled down his window in the middle of the intersection to yell at me, “That’s a nice pussy!”

None of this made me feel beautiful or special. But it definitely made me uncomfortable and I wanted to hang out at different clubs, move to a new neighborhood, and find a different route to work. I should not be forced to change my life to avoid harassment. I deserve to walk down the streets of my city in peace.

– Jayme

Location: Chicago, Illinois

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: sexually explicit comments, street harassment

“These sexually exploited comments were coming from children”

April 1, 2011 By Contributor

I have been harassed twice last week. Both incidents were small but the affect it had on me was BIG.

I have had it with society. What has happened to our supposed ‘civil’ race? The human race. We have become more savage and uncivilised than animals. Even they are far more dignified than us! I swear by it.

I was waiting for a taxi outside a guest house in Porthcawl. The night before, I had dyed my brown hair, blonde. Only it turned out slightly ginger. I wasn’t all that bothered about it. I could dye it again. The only thing I was sensitive about was what OTHER people might think. Would they stare at me? Would they laugh at me? Will some arrogant asshole come along and make a snide comment? Well, I was half expecting it… and my fear was confirmed.

A gang of teenagers were walking on the other side of the road and were ALL staring at me. “Here we go” I thought to myself. And when I looked back, a boy made a face and said “Eww”. Then a girl did the same. I sighed. I knew it!

Then they carried on walking as though nothing had happened. Yes, to them, maybe it was ‘nothing’. But guess what you jerks?? Your sheer ignorance happened to ruin my day! I’m sure you would feel proud of that wouldn’t you? If you knew.

Then a few days later, I was on my way to my local community hall and I had to walk past a shop. Three young boys were hanging around. They only looked about 12. I didn’t think much of them until after I had walked past them, I heard shouts of “Can I bum you?” “Move that ass!”

These sexually exploited comments were coming from children. As I walked on ignoring their jeering, I shook my head in disbelief. What has this world come to?

Sexual harassment is getting younger and younger. I have experienced this before with young kids. And each time it happens, it disgusts me more and more. Where are their morals? Are their parents aware of how they are behaving when they are not around? Where have they picked this type of language up? It beats me.

All I can say is they are not being taught a very important thing – respect. And I find it very saddening.

– Clarice

Location: South Wales, UK

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: street harassment, Wales

48 hours of harassment in Budapest

March 31, 2011 By Contributor

This weekend was a special one for sexual harassment. In the past 48 hours, all of the following have happened to me:

1) A group of man make kissing noises at a woman in a skirt. I am with my friends and (not too loudly) say, “Oh wow. A woman in a skirt. Never seen one before.” The men harass and follow us for a block.

2) I am walking with a male friend. A young man walks up to us and asks my friend if I am his girlfriend. Male friend says no. Upon realizing that I am un-owned, young man turns to me and says, “Hey Bitch. Can I cum on your face?” I stop walking, look him in the eye and say loudly and seriously, “What the fuck did you just say to me? That is not funny. It is NOT funny.” He walks away.

3) I get off a public tram in the middle of the afternoon. A man scans me up and down. I tell him to fuck off. He follows me down the street towards my house. I turn, stomp my foot and scream in his face: “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU NEED TO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME NOW!” He shrugs and walks around me. I have to stop and wait for him to pass my house so I can go home safely. The street was full of people. Not a single person said anything at all.

Did I defend myself? I guess. Did it affect any of these idiots? Doubt it. But I shouldn’t have to do anything. I shouldn’t have to weigh defense against ruining my evening by making a public scene. I have a life that is mine and it goes outside. How dare anyone try to scare me back into my chilly apartment?

And by the way, I live in Europe. And I was wearing long pants and two sweaters in all of these incidents.

– Whitney

Location: Budapest, Hungary

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: budapest, sexual harassment, street harassment

“This guy then ran after me and chased me”

March 31, 2011 By Contributor

Last August I was walking home after a gig and as I live in Manchester City Centre I’d always been comfortable walking home on my own as its fairly busy. Sometimes you’d get wolf whistles or lewd comments from groups of men, but nothing that made me feel threatened.

Then last August, as I said, I was walking home from a gig when I got to Market St, which is close to where I live in the Northern Quarter. It was midnight so not as busy as during the day but still a fair few people around so thought I’d be ok, as I had been hundreds of times beforehand.

I’d just got to where the escalators from the foodcourt area, and I noticed this guy who was hanging around the seats near the escalators. I had a bad feeling in my tummy about this guy so I put my head down and quickened my pace. He seemed to notice me and pick on me as he came over and looked at me, I’ll never forget that look in his eyes, he was psycho! He obviously could tell I was intimidated and he said, “Run love, run” and I did. I always thought if i was in a situation like that I would stand up for myself but in reality I was terrified and just ran.

This guy then ran after me and chased me all the way up Market Street. When I got to High Street I had to stop to get my breath and I thought he had got bored but he hadn’t and he was chasing me still. So I ran along High Street and it was only that I bumped into someone I knew who walked me to my building that he didn’t catch up with me. What freaked me out even more is that about half an hour later, i was watching out of my bedroom window and I saw him cross the road in front of my building.

The incident really freaked me out and I’m still having anxiety problems related to this.

– Katie

Location: Manchester City Centre, United Kingdom

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: chasing, manchester, stalking, street harassment

“Cultural machismo in Latino communities”

March 30, 2011 By Contributor

I would grow frustrated and nervous to walk to and from school as a high schooler, in the early 2000s. I would best describe myself, then, as a very conservatively dressed and studious Latina usually wearing a large backpack, casual jeans, my hair tied in a pony tail, and a baggy sweater to hide my large breasts. On a daily basis I would get cat-calls at least twice a day by much older Latino men who took the time to role down their driver’s side window, slow down street traffic, hang out of their truck or car, just to whistle or say, “Hey, mamasita!” All I wanted to do was flash my middle finger, but I was honestly too scared to do such a thing, not knowing what that man may do to me and also because I would usually walk by myself.

What disgusted me the most was the fact that a Latino man, that could have been my father’s age, felt the urge to address me in such a way that was abusive and clearly lacking any human dignity or respect. Because of my experience with constant verbal abuse in public spaces I felt certain that I would one day get kidnapped and raped. Fortunately, that never happened to me.

I am happy that today I no longer live in Southeast Los Angeles, specifically in the city of Cudahy, but I fear for those young girls and women who continue to interface (and some who accept) c

The questions I would pose to all those Latino boys and men are: Why do you think it is okay to cat-call or whistle at a female? Would you do that to your sister, mother, tia, grandmother or family friend?

– Anonymous

Location: Clara Street, Cudahy, CA

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: california, Cudahy, machismo, sexual harassment, street harassment

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