Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“What’s a pretty little girl like you doing in a wheelchair?”

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I was recently in a burn accident and my leg is in bandages.

My parents were helping me into our van outside the hospital when this older man walked by and said, “What’s a pretty little girl like you doing in a wheelchair?” and he winked at me before he went inside the hospital.

It was just really creepy.

Like my leg is any of his business.

Or just that he called me a “pretty little girl”… yeah, I really like to be referred to as a child and demoted to someone who’s incapable, yknow?

– BMH

Location: 801 Broadway N, Fargo, ND 58122

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A mother with a long way to go

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I feel as if I rarely get harassed now (knock on wood), but when it happens, it’s annoying. And once again, as mentioned in the story back when I was called N-word in August, it hurts when loved ones don’t back me up.

This past Friday, my mother treated me to see Tyler Perry’s “For Colored Girls…” and the first theater we went to was mobbed. (I’m not a Tyler Perry fan but am a fan of Ntozake Shange, and I can’t figure out what about Tyler Perry movies brings people out in droves, but I digress.)

The deal was that I was going to use my mother’s card to buy the tickets while she parked the car, while I kept in contact on my phone to let her know the status of tickets. I get to the kiosk and the show we wanted to see was sold out with the next one being two hours away. As I informed her of this and was proceeding to leave the theater, some dummy pushed me and told me “Move!” I wasn’t in his way!

I forgot to hang up my phone as I went to confront this guy, telling him I wasn’t in his way and he had no right to push me, and once again, like in the last story, my mother hears me and she’s yelling “What are you doing? Stop! Just leave!” The satisfaction of this guy standing there looking humiliated (while some other guy laughed at him being told off by me) disappeared because of my mother thinking I’m a child incapable of defending myself and thinking for myself and her constantly blaming me for things that go wrong.

My mother has been exposed to your site and is interested in your book and has become more educated about street harassment, so to speak, but I still feel she has a long way to go before she 1) realizes I’m an adult and if I feel like defending myself, I will (I haven’t lived under her roof in years, so I don’t get why she can’t see me as an autonomous woman) and 2) I’m not to blame for what happens to me. I didn’t ask for that guy to push and snip at me to “Move!”

I get into the car and tell her what happened to cause me to go off, and she gives a perfunctory “Well, that theater gets crowded and attracts rowdy people…we should’ve went somewhere else.”

I just want to feel as if she’ll have my back 100%, for once. I don’t know why she can’t.

– Tired of Being Harassed

Location: AMC Hoffman 22 (Alexandria, VA)

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“Some guy said he would let me fart in his mouth and hold it in until I told him to let it out”

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I’m glad I found this site. I feel more in control knowing there are actions I can take instead of feeling angry and helpless.

A few days prior, this was my story.

When stepping off the trolley, before my foot even hit the pavement, “Bitch nice glasses” was hollered at me. I was caught off guard and didn’t say anything, but am sure I made an angry, uncomfortable face.

When he didn’t get the response he was looking for he attempted to demand my attention by yelling, “Anyone ever do this to you?” and licked in between his fingers, motioning that he was going down on a woman. I hate that gesture, when has that ever been sexy? It’s gross and infuriates me. I flicked him off, told him he was rude and to f* off. Then he calls me a cunt cause I wasn’t excited about it. I apologized to a mother and child for swearing in front of them and the dude started at it again.

I was so angry, I called him an ignorant pig, shook my textbook at him and said I should beat him with it. He then dropped his pants and smacked his bare ass as he walked away. It made me so mad I cried in the bus stop. It happens so fast. I’m glad he left when he did.

His intention was to get a rise out of me and he was successful. The only thing worse than that feeling, is knowing the other person is getting away with it and will do it again. I’m glad to now know strategies to detour that behavior.

This isn’t the first time. I’ve been followed for blocks, crossed the street only for them to cross with me. I’ve been told my tattoo on my chest is “begging for his head to be shoved between my tits.”

“Does the carpet match the drapes?” & “Can I get your number?” are common introduction sentences.

I’ve been told all the dirty things someone would want to do to me while in a gas station. Some guy said he would let me fart in his mouth and hold it in until I told him to let it out. I didn’t even know people did that. Another guy asked me, “What I could do with 9 inches.”

Seriously? That is not something you ask/tell a stranger. It is disrespectful, disgusting and made me feel 100% uncomfortable.

I don’t dress provocatively, I rarely wear makeup. I am a 5’9″ nerd. Not someone “begging for it” (sarcasm, an outfit does not justify harassment). People would say I am nice. I’m not one to yell fuck you at a bus stop, but there I was doing it.

For someone to make another human being feel this uncomfortable and unsafe, only because they are different, is immoral.

– Anonymous

Location: Cleveland, OH

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“As soon as they saw me they started making sexual comments”

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This is a story i want to share which happened a while ago. I was at my house waiting for my boyfriend to come around. When i looked out of my window to see if he was walking up the road, i did see him – being hassled by a group of lads. I quickly ran to the door to see what the commotion was and ready to defend my man.

When i stood by the door, i could hear the boys teasing him and asking him if he would do this ‘beat box’ sound. Now you’re probably wondering what i mean by that. The beat box is like a beating noise rappers do, pretty difficult to explain really. Me and my boyfriend had been harassed before over it. Anyway, i yelled at the idiots to leave him alone as my boyfriend came up my path.

As soon as they saw me (a woman) of course they started making sexual comments to me and laughing together. I was furious. I told them to fuck off while my boyfriend threatened to call the police and slammed the door. We didn’t call the cops in the end because they left but i was mad. It ruined my night.

– Clarice

Location: Wales, UK

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“Lift those legs soldier. What sexy legs you have.”

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[Editor’s Note: While most stories on this blog are from women, occasionally I post ones from men. One of my high school cross country and track teammates – who is a big supporter of my street harassment work – sent me this story via email this week and he gave me permission to post it.  No one should have to be subjected to or have to put up with unwanted sexualized comments and harassment from strangers!]

I was running in my neighborhood today around 5:30; I got stuck at a stop light for about 30 seconds and there was an old lady with what appeared to be her daughter at the light. As I was approaching the light, I hear her say: “Raise those legs soldier.” Then I stop at the light and try to move as far away from her as possible at the corner, that’s when she says, “You have sexy legs. those are wonderful thighs.” As soon as the light turns, I take off.  On my way home, she is about a block from where I saw her, just sitting blocking the entire sidewalk.  I run into the street about 200 feet before her. As I pass, once again “Lift those legs soldier. what sexy legs you have.”

I felt uncomfortable; as I always do when I get harassed while running.  I’ve had whistles from guys and girls–typically the guys are latino construction workers in their cars and the girls are high school age in their cars–I assume most of the whistling is a mocking whistle and never appreciate it.

When I was stopped at the light, I tried to avoid eye-contact and keep some distance.  Just thinking in my mind when is this light going to turn.  On the way back, I was frustrated to see her again–as soon as I saw her from over 100 yards away I was already dreading running by her again.

In the past I have changed my running habits to try to avoid this as much as possible and even sometimes discouraged from running at all.  This sucks that this was on one of my major running loops–from new apartment there isn’t too much to change; I already modified the course to avoid the liquor store and two medicinal marijuana dispensaries where the homeless have harassed me.

– JR

Location: West Los Angeles, CA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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