Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Leg stroking Metro harasser

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Before I moved to Washington, DC, I was there visiting family. I got on the Metro at the Shady Grove Station. The car was empty except for me and then another man got on the car with me. I did not think anything of it, but he decided to sit right next to me and I thought that was odd considering it was a completely empty car.

He began to talking to me and I made polite conversation. Then he began stroking my bare leg (it was summer and I had on a skirt) and becoming more assertive in his intentions, asking where I was staying and if I was dating anyone. I remember thinking in that moment, that I should hit him, but I became scared, thinking that if I do not disable this person then he is going to harm me and we are trapped on this subway car together and there is nowhere or no one else to run to.

Thankfully, after passing through several stops on the red line going back toward DC more people got on and eventually he got off at a stop. I was left sitting there thankful for the additional people and thankful he did not ride all the way to my stop. To this day I question any person that is too chatty on Metro unless I know that they are a tourist.

– anonymous

Location: Washington, DC

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Don’t call me Sweetheart!

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Just when I thought I could go almost two weeks free of nonsense!

This morning, I left my apartment to head to work and there was a moving truck outside. Three people (two men, one woman) were trying to help the truck park outside the apartment.

I continue walking, and I hear a loud “HAVE A NICE DAY, SWEETHEART!” barked at me. It was one of the moving men.

“Don’t call me sweetheart!” I snapped, not missing a beat.
“I was just trying to tell you have a nice day,” the guy says.

I hate when they do that. The same thing happened with another guy who was in front of Rosslyn Metro a few weeks back. He says the same thing, I had the same response, and his answer was “What? I can’t say hello?”

It’s as if these men are in denial of their actions. Did you not just call me “SWEETHEART” dummies? It’s not the fact that you said “hello” or “have a nice day” to me, it’s the fact that you had to call me “sweetheart” along with it. Do you not remember doing that?

In both instances, when they had “Can’t I just say hello?” or “I’m just trying to tell you to have a nice day!” responses, I responded back with “If you wanted to say ‘hello’ you would’ve just said hello” and “If you just wanted to wish me a nice day, you would’ve just said ‘have a nice day’.” These men are dense beyond reason.

Dear men who feel obliged to tell women they don’t know to have a nice day: Feel free to tell us to have a nice day, but don’t call us “sweetheart,” especially when we don’t know you.

– Tired of Being Harassed

Location: Arlington, VA

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When men are in a group

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While bike riding with a friend this afternoon, two men in a car honked their horn and shouted “nice ass”. My companion was female but I wonder if I were with a man if this incident would have occurred. This type of thing seems to happen more when “men” are in a group or with another man. It disgusts me how often this type of behavior happens.

– anonymous

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Oregon shrubbery harasser

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I am on a business trip and after I checked into my hotel this evening, I went for a run. I like going running new places. I was on a dead end street off of a busy one when I heard a man’s voice, “Hey girl, run girl, yeah you better run girl!” Then in an increasingly aggressive and louder tone of voice, he started yelling, “Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah!”

My heart started pounding. It was an otherwise deserted area and a location unfamiliar to me. I turned around to see who he was and maybe confront him, but he was hidden from view behind shrubbery. As his aggressive tone sunk in a bit more, I felt frightened and I sprinted back to the main road and made my way back to my hotel, trying not to cry.

It may not sound like that big of a deal, but it’s really shaken me up, especially since I am now in an empty hotel room in a new state across the country from where I live. This incident has made me feel vulnerable as a woman out in public on her own and that makes me really mad. I have every right to be in public and not be harassed and frightened! I’m not going to cower and hide and not go for a run or travel by myself but in this society, I know that comes with a risk of being harassed or assaulted by scary, disrespectful men 🙁 It makes me so ANGRY!

Shrubbery where the harasser's voice was coming from

Anyway, I drove back there in my rental car and took a quick picture from my window. It’s only of bushes, but it marks the spot.

When will women be safe?

-holly

Location: Clay Street SW, Wilsonville, OR

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“Afghan scuzzball”

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In an Afghan-owned grocery store that sells Middle Eastern and South Asian products. I was shopping, minding my own business, and this absolutely scuzzy sleazy-looking Afghan guy, unshaven, unkempt, shirttail partly hanging out–you get the picture–says behind me “Hey, beauty, where are you going?” I ignored him, of course. He followed me through an aisle full of Islamic religious items, saying “Where do you live?” as I continued to totally ignore him. Then he sneaked up behind me when I was about to get in the checkout line, and said “Want to go with me?” as he bumped his whole body up against mine from behind.

So I wheeled around and shouted out loud “Leave me alone! Don’t touch me! Get away from me!” I had taken harassment silently innumerable times before, but this time I just snapped. He was startled and backed off. There were several people around, including a store employee, who pretended nothing had happened. I paid for my purchases and was leaving when I noticed he had hung around behind me, waiting. If he had tried anything else, so help me I would have broken his ugly face. I took a women’s self-defense class taught by Lauren Taylor in DC and learned how to inflict severe injury on harassers if necessary. Anyway, he didn’t follow me out of the store and the incident was over, except for the work I had to do within myself to recover from it.

I’m Muslim myself, and I’m seriously pissed off how the extreme sexual segregation in Islamist fundamentalist societies raises men in total isolation from women so that they never learn how to behave properly. There was nothing in that sicko scuzzball’s behavior but open hatred and aggression toward women. He assumed because I’m Muslim that I would meekly submit to harassment. I hope I taught him a lesson.

– JbH

Location: Herndon, VA

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