Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“I’m a person. Not a blow-up doll”

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I live in Los Angeles, California, so I often get harassed when I walk on the street, but I’ll share one that really stuck out to me.

I was crossing a street (at a crosswalk) and a guy was sitting there in his car and asked if I needed a ride someplace, and proceeded to tell me what a “fine ass” I had. I ignored him and kept walking. He started making kissing noises at me and yelled “hey baby!” as I walked away.

It made me feel very angry and disgusted. I know I have a nice body, and I don’t need or want him to tell me that, especially in such a degrading way. It was as if he thought I existed solely to be something for him and other men to look at.

Whether he liked my body or not, he should have kept his opinion to himself. Why do men feel they are allowed to comment on our appearances this way? Why don’t they care that it makes us feel used and dirty? I resented that guy because he had no respect for me as a HUMAN BEING and instead saw me as “pussy.”

I’m a daughter, a sister, a friend. I’m intelligent, loyal, caring, and short-tempered. I am passionate and emotional…I could go on. Basically, I’m a person. Not a blow-up doll.

-Erin Selzano

Location: Los Angeles, CA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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“‘Flattering’ Comments While Commuting”

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This morning as I was getting on the Metro bus (in DC) to ride to work, the bus driver was standing outside taking a quick break. As I approached the bus and showed him my pass, he said to me, “I’m going to disrespect you today.” I stopped short, and said, “excuse me?” because I honestly had no idea what he was talking about. I was expecting him to say something about my pass — try to be a smart ass or something about it, or joke around that I didn’t have enough fare, etc. I thought he was going to disrespect me as a customer. No, he disrespected me as a woman.

He repeated, “I’m going to disrespect you today. I’m going to tell you that you’re a beautiful young lady.” Well, gee, if you know it’s disrespectful, then keep your mouth shut. Why do some people think women (and sometimes men) are flattered by these kinds of comments? Why can’t people realize how embarrassing and creepy it is when you don’t know someone? I don’t need random guys giving me these “flattering” comments when I’m just trying to commute to work in peace.

It really bothers me that he thinks it’s appropriate to a) use the word “disrespect” in his approach, and b) do this to women — even while on the job. I didn’t say anything to him about it, though, because I didn’t want to make things awkward or worse — I needed to get on the bus to get to work. I felt incredibly powerless because that was my form of transportation this morning. And I’m mad at myself for staying silent. But what do you do when there isn’t another bus around to ride? Why should I re-route my morning routine or make myself late to work because someone has to be harassing me? Is there a way to report street harassment to Metro?** I ask because this is not the first time this has happened — I’m approached by Metro employees all the time and it’s irritating because I just want to be left alone.

– anonymous

Location: Washington, DC

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

**Editor’s Note:

In response to anonymous’s question, yes you can report metro employees for harassment. WMATA has a customer service contact form you can use to report WMATA employees, or you can call 800-637-7000. I have a friend in the DC area who has done this many times. If you can, include the time/date/location/description of Metro employees in the report. See this HollaBack DC post for more.

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Report It

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I was molested on the W train between Lexington/59th St. and Queensboro Plaza. I wasn’t able to collect my senses and get off to report the crime or report it immediately after, but I reported it to the NYC sex crimes hot line 2 days later and was able to go to the precinct and actually identify the perpetrator out of a mugshot.

Turns out he was arrested once before, three years ago, for a sex crime. I encourage women to report the crimes, no matter how small you may think they are, because you could be helping someone three or ten years from now to gain closure and press charges for another crime. A crime that could be worse than yours.

–  V

Location: New York City

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Male Allies

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My male partner once asked if I could share more stories on this blog about men who don’t street harass women and who work to end it. I would like to, but I don’t have very many. So today I am happy to have this story, from a male ally, to share:

“A young woman was on a metro train and a couple of teenagers started to tell her in explicit and profane language what they wanted to do to her. I told them they needed to leave her alone and stop using profanities in my presence. They did and moved on. I was happy to see that a couple of other men surrounding us on the train told me that they had my back should things have gone violent.”

Fortunately, these harassers did stop. By-standers run the risk of having harassers turn on them, which can deter many people – men and women – from intervening. It makes it all the more inspiring to read about those who take that risk and intervene anyway. Men, have you ever intervened or done something to distract a harasser when you’ve seen a woman being harassed?

I am writing a book on street harassment. In the second half of the book, I focus on various ways that women and men can – and are – fighting this issue and working to stop all street harassment.

After attending a panel yesterday for work on organizations that are engaging men as allies in ending gender-based violence around the world, I was inspired to write a short, informal, anonymous survey for male allies where they can share their thoughts specifically on how best to reach men on this issue and engage them in ending it.

Male allies, please take a few minutes and share your thoughts on this topic:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/7SS33XL

Also, feel free to share any stories on by-stander intervention in the comments of this post or via an anonymous form.

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NYC steps up efforts to make subways safer

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As any woman living in or visiting NYC, or as anyone reading the website HollaBackNYC will know, street harassment is a major problem there.

Public transportation is one of the hot spots for such offenses. The NYC Transit says there have been 587 reports of sexual offenses in the subway system so far this year, mainly on the Lexington Avenue 4, 5 and 6 lines. Harassment and assault are very under-reported, so the real numbers are far worse.

For more than a year, New Yorkers for Safe Transit have been working specifically to make the subway and bus systems harassment-free. For example, for over a year there have been anti-sexual harassment print ads and, for almost a year, audio ads on several subway lines, thanks to their efforts. Recently they testified at a hearing on sexual harassment on public transportation.

Their continued pressure and activism is leading to more efforts on the part of NYC’s transit system.

  • MTA reports they will increase the number of automated messages in the subway stations warning against assaults and they will begin distributing anti-groping posters and brochures.
  • They are working with the NYPD to have more officers at stations, especially during rush hour, so targets of sexual harassment can more easily report offenders. Victims of subway sexual harassment can also call NYPD’s Sex Crimes Report Line at 212.267.RAPE.
  • Building off the method HollaBackNYC uses for “hollaback”ing at harassers with camera phone photos, NYPD is working on a pilot program that would enable victims to send photos of harassers to police officers, who can investigate the case even after the harasser has slipped away into a crowd. This is essential because so often harassers only harass when they know they can escape or when they know there will be no witnesses.

Lastly, here are recent tips released by the NYPD for dealing with sexual harassment on the subway:

  • Do not be ashamed or afraid to report the offense to the police or an MTA employee immediately.
  • During off hours, wait at the marked waiting areas on the station platforms and sit in the conductor’s car when the train arrives.
  • Know your way around your subway stations: the locations of exits and where stairwells lead.
  • If the sex offense happens on a crowded subway car, if you can do so safely, step away from the perpetrator and loudly let others know what the offender is doing.
  • If you are in an empty car, leave the car and find one with more passengers.
  • If you can do so safely, use your cell phone to take a photo of the perpetrator, or make a note of any distinctive features or items of clothing.
  • If the perpetrator follows you off the train, call the police and stay in a crowded area.
  • Remain alert and awake.

Kudos to the New Yorkers for Safe Transit for keeping on the pressure and to the MTA and NYPD for stepping up their efforts to make subways safer and freer of sexual harassment.

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