Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming
I was walking out of the Wilson Farms parking lot when an older guy yelled “Hey baby,” then followed me for 2 blocks.
– Claire
Location: Jamestown, NY, USA, corner of Main and 6th
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Several times a month while walking down the street in Paris, men would call out or walk alongside me to tell me how pretty I was, men who wanted me to get coffee with them or to strike up a conversation, or who asked for my phone number. In one circumstance, I was late for work and almost running to get to the metro station when a man partially blocked my way and asked me where I was going and whether I wanted to go anywhere with him. I was furious that although I was so clearly not in the mood to stop for a chat, apparently this act of calling attention to myself in public made this man feel like it was appropriate to approach me. And I resented the arrogance of privilege that made him think that his desire to talk to me was more important than my need to get where I was going. After each time it happened – and I had never been stopped on the street like that before Paris, when I lived in a smaller town in Virginia – I felt shaken, my personal space violated.
The people who stopped me (other than to ask for directions) were all male and mostly young. What struck me the most is that they always seemed to intend to project friendliness (although the effect was the opposite), and all seemed convinced that I might be receptive to their advances, although I gave absolutely no signal that I might want to talk. Every man who approached me also seemed to be a migrant from North or Subsaharan Africa, and I’ve since thought that perhaps cultural differences in signals of women’s availability or in where it’s acceptable to strike up conversation could account for some of it, rather than malicious intent.
But it’s important for me to say that, no matter what their motives might have been, what matters is the effect they had on me. I always felt angry, disrespected, like some of my agency had been taken away. I was offended by the implication that I would agree to do anything with a guy who so clearly just wanted my body, who didn’t know anything about my personality or interests. I began to feel a little less secure when walking in public. I was never really afraid of violence during the daytime, but being forced to interact with someone just because I happened to be in public, being forced either to break social conventions by being rude or to give someone access to myself that I definitely didn’t want him to have, made me feel trapped and furious.
– Lenore
Location: Paris, France
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As a regular public transportation user, I have many, many stories. One that stands out in my mind, though, is having a man leer at my butt while waiting at the Metro bus stop, follow me onto the bus whistling, and repeatedly saying “hot dog” loudly on the bus in my direction and when I got off the bus.
– anonymous
Location: Rockville, MD
Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.
I’m a street artist. I went to my spot to show my art around 8 am last Sunday 10-11-09 at West Broadway and Spring St in SOHO.
This man was waiting for me, and he comes and sits next to my spot and starts to kick my handtrack, and i say don’t touch my stuff, and he says, “YOU DONT UNDERSTAIND I DONT WANT YOU HERE!!! PROSTITUTE, PUTA, UGLY, OLDER, LOSER YOU ARE 40 YEARS OLD AND COME HERE TO SELL YOUR CHEAP ART, I WANTS TO DELETE YOUR TEETH, I’M NOT PLAYING!!! AND WE WILL SEE WHO IS MORE STRONG!!!”
I asked what is his problem and he says, “I JUST DONT LIKE YOU!!!”
And I say, “The world has plenty of things that we like and we dont like and you need to learn to live with that.”
After that he pushed me and punched on my face and ran. I said to stop and people heard and so he ran. I called the police and they come. People talked to the police about what they saw, but nobody saw when he was punched me. I dont have marks or blood.
So he was back 2 hours later to his spot like nothing had happened, and many people called the police, including me, and 5 cars come. Nobody asked him for ID, they just removed him to the next block….he cam back agan to his spot to intimidate me and said “i will be here next weekend”….
I don’t know what i can do, just leave there? I don’t go out because he is around, or he knows I’m alone, maybe he will wait for me again? i dont know…
– anonymous
Location: New York City
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Several years ago, when I was a student in Salzburg, Austria, I was on a long walk at night with a female friend. We walked past a stretch of several bars, with tons of people hanging around on the sidewalk. As we passed, a guy called after us, asking if we had a cigarette. I ignored him, but he kept asking and was soon following us, along with another guy. Finally I turned and said no firmly, and we sped up a little, trying to get back to the hotel where my friend was staying.
We reached a parking lot near an open plaza, by which point they’d caught up to us. One of them reached under my coat and grabbed my ass, then pulled on my hair. I had a scarf knotted around my neck, and he yanked hard on the end so that it was pulled tight against my throat. They were circling us, shouting things. I can’t recall what they were saying because I panicked and was incoherent. I yelled no several times, in german and in english. I was crying. I saw some people in a parked car nearby, so I ran to the car and knocked on the window. The people ignored me and drove away.
Fortunately, the guys were somewhat deterred by my attempt to get help, and we had a second to escape. We started running. I could still feel them following us, and by the time we got to the front door of the hotel where my friend was staying, they had caught up again. Breathing hard, we frantically unlocked the door and slammed it shut in their faces. I feel lucky that I escaped unharmed (much worse things have happened to women in similar situations), but I’ve never felt so scared in my life.
I also felt guilty. When I panicked, the harassment became more intense. I can only assume they found my reaction humorous. For a long time, I constantly questioned myself–did I do something stupid? Was I overreacting? Did I bring it upon myself? Was it because I was a foreigner?
The worst thing is, the next day, we told the hotel concierge (who was, alarmingly, a female) what had happened, hoping my friend could cancel her reservation since she no longer felt safe at the hotel (they knew our location and could easily come back and find us if they wanted). We were summarily dismissed and told that it was “safe here.”
I shouldn’t make assumptions like this, and it may sound overly defensive, but I can’t help but think that her response stems partially from the wider belief that Americans are obtuse and unnecessarily obsessed with “political correctness.” After such a frightening experience, it was really insulting and discouraging for our warranted caution to be so callously disregarded. More than that, it speaks to an extreme lack of awareness regarding the severity of street harassment and how quickly even the most harmless-seeming “attention” can escalate into a seriously dangerous situation.
– anonymous
Location: Salzburg, Austria
Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.