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Lexington, MA, Truck Driver

August 10, 2009 By Contributor

I was in Lexington, MA, for a job interview, and I was early enough to get a bite to eat at the local McDonald’s. I opted to eat in my car, engine off, doors locked. It was the middle of the day, not late at all.

As I was eating, I noticed a white or Hispanic man across the parking lot, standing next to a big, white distribution truck, and he was staring at me intently. I looked away but kept my attention on him to be careful.

After a few minutes, he started to call to me with ‘hey’ over and over again. He just stared and motioned to me to come out of my car. I didn’t. I decided I was tired of him, and drove out of the parking lot.

As I stopped at the red light, I noticed the white truck exiting the parking lot as well, and coming straight for me. I dashed off into the road I needed, and hid myself down an obscure street to avoid being found. Thankfully I did not see him again, but I can say that I was extremely shaken up about the entire thing and wanted to cry. I felt so helpless and trapped in my own car.

– J.L.

Location: Lexington, MA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

Weekly Round Up – August 9

August 9, 2009 By HKearl

Stories:

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

On this blog, two contributors submitted stories about harassment in the Washington DC area (including an anti-Black woman harasser), a woman in Europe shared what constant male harassment caused her to feel when an elderly woman unexpectedly grabs her to steady herself on the subway, two women in Chicago each share harassment stories from taking the subway home, and a woman shares one of her recent harassment experiences in East Boston, MA.
Holla Back NYC has numerous stories, including a woman getting groped on the 4 train, a man masturbating onto the track of a nearly empty subway platform while staring at the contributor, a woman who reported her harasser who works for Hollywood Dairy, a woman who got harassed after saying hello back to a man at a subway station, another woman who got attacked by a man while she waited for a subway at the Carroll Street station, and a woman who kept getting harassed by a man passing by in a van.
On Holla Back DC! a woman shares her most “memorable” harassment experiences, another has a rubbernecker stare at her on the subway escalator, a woman shares her experience walking the 14th Street guntlet, and another woman tries to explain to a harasser why she doesn’t like what he’s saying; he then calls her a stuck up bitch.

In the News:

AMNY ran an article about harassment on New York City’s public transportation system.
Sudanese journalist Lubna Hussein’s trial began this week; she was arrested with other women for the crime of wearing trousers in a public place.
The Huffington Post ran an article about street harassment, highlighting Holla Back website efforts, called “When Hollered At, HollaBack!“
Herizon magazine’s summer issue includes an article about Hollaback Toronto.

Announcements:

Right Rides is hiring a Community Organizer to lead the New Yorkers for Safe Transit Coalition efforts.
I’ve been offered a book contract for my proposed book on street harassment! Submit your stories for inclusion.
Enter a photography contest for photographers who capture or depict street harassment, particularly in the DC area. Selected winners will have the chance to show/sell their work at a reception the evening before the Holla Back DC: Make DC Harassment Free Summit.
RightRides in NYC recently has expanded their services of a free ride home from Saturday nights to include Friday nights too! They offer this service from 11:59 p.m. – 3 a.m. in 45 neighborhoods across four boroughs. To call for a ride, the dispatch number is (718) 964-7781 OR (888)215-SAFE (7233).

Street Harassment Resource of the Week:

Tweet your harassment story and add @catcalled or #hbnyc to your post and it will be added to Catcalled or HollaBackNYC’s thread of harassment stories.

Not expecting to have to be on the defensive

August 9, 2009 By Contributor

I live in South Side Chicago, and I like to get my hair cut on the North Side. I take public transportation, so for me, this means taking the Green Line.

It was an early appointment and I had had a long day; I fell asleep on the way back. I’m woken up by someone hitting me on the knees. It’s some creep in glasses and a do-rag. “Regulations apply to everyone. No sleeping!” Groggily, I get up to see what stop we’re at. Still seven away from mine. I try to make polite conversation (I’m still in North Side mode). The creep is not only a jerk, but incomprehensible. I go sit down on the other side, because I am not in the mood for a fight.

He follows me, sits right across from me. He waits until I get off at my stop, and starts making obscene comments. I am tired and in no mood to fight, so I wait for him to pass and go home.

If I were more awake, I would have argued with him. As is, I’ve been hit with esprit d’escalier all day, and pretty mad at myself for not saying something. I punched a guy on the Beijing subway for groping me; I was just not expecting to have to be on the defensive here.

It happens all the time on the Southside; catcalls are the norm. And the worst part? It’s much, much worse if you’re a Black woman. I’m Asian; thankfully, this intimidates some of them. My roommate, however, is Black. Once this guy followed her for several blocks trying to get her number, even after she made it clear she wasn’t interested. She makes eye contact with a guy, he starts seriously harassing her. When we talk together past single men or men in groups, we know we’d better be in a very involved conversation.

Usually, police presence keeps the guys from bothering you too much, but that’s so rare around here. My roommate has given me one good mantra to keep in mind, though: “What makes them think they have the right to talk to ME?”

– Sandra

Location: Green Line Subway in Chicago

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

Anti-Black Woman Harasser in Arlington

August 7, 2009 By Contributor

I was in Arlington and walking to the train station. When walking on Quincy Street, I walked past a guy who was loading groceries into his car, which didn’t seem out of the ordinary, until he started calling at me.

“‘Scuse me, sweetheart,” he says. I know he’s trying to hit on me, and I don’t want to talk to a man I don’t know. I continue walking, he continues calling at me.

“Excuse me, lovely…excuse me, sweetheart…hello?…hello?…hello?” I continued to ignore him and walk. Though it was daylight out still, the street felt isolated to me, and I just didn’t want to respond to him. He gave me a funny vibe.

He then starts calling me names.

“Yo, Bumpyface!” he says. “Bumpyface. You got acne. You’re a bumpyface. You’re ugly.”

I know I don’t have the best skin in the world, and I am very touchy about it. His comments were so cruel. I don’t get how I was so “lovely” that he wanted to talk to me one minute, to being an “ugly bumpyface.” I pulled out my phone to snap his photo to submit to your site. At the time, he (and his friend who was in the vehicle) were laughing and thought it was funny.

“That’s why I didn’t respond to you in the first place,” I snapped. “Men like you have no respect for women. I don’t know you, and don’t want to talk to strange men.”

I spoke in a calm manner, I didn’t curse, so I don’t know why the hell he went from 0 to 60.

He got in my face, started thumping his chest, and approached me as if I were someone his own size.

“What you say to me? What you say? Huh, huh? Say it again, bitch, say it again! Fuck you bitch! Take my picture, bitch! That’s right, bitch!”

I started walking away, and he followed me.

“Fuck you, bitch! I HATE BLACK WOMEN!” he ranted. “I’m tired of black women! Black women ain’t shit! Black women are ugly! I don’t give a damn about BLACK WOMEN! Stupid bitch!”

Once again, if you hate black women so much, why talk to me?

He got really close to me and acted like he was going to punch me. He kept swinging fake punches close to me, and though he didn’t actually hit me I became fearful for my life. I started backing up into the street, even though cars were coming. I then started running, and he ran after me. I tried calling the cops on my phone, but I was nervous and couldn’t think straight because this guy was right in my space. Luckily some kind of action came into me. I saw someone getting into his car and yelled “CALL THE POLICE!” at the top of my lungs. He ignored me, got into his car and drove off.

The harasser finally got tired of chasing after me and terrifying me and ran back to his car, laughing. Unfortunately I couldn’t get a clear shot of his license plates. I just know they were Virginia plates (from their font style), and the first part was J_C (I don’t know the middle letter, and can’t remember the four numbers).

I finally managed to call the police, and ten minutes later (after this guy and his friend were long gone) an officer came. I showed him the photo I took of the guy, but his reaction was pretty nonchalant.

“You don’t know this guy, right?” he asked.
“No, I’ve never met him before,” I said.
“And you said you don’t live in the area, so you probably won’t see him again,” he said.
“But it’s scary that he just started cursing and swinging punches at me,” I said.
“This is actually a pretty safe neighborhood, ma’am,” the officer said. “And there’s not much we can do since you didn’t get his license plate. You probably won’t see him again since you’re not from here, but in the rare chance you do see him again give us a call.”

That was the least reassuring conversation I’ve had with an officer. I didn’t know how to react. I felt numb. I spent the rest of my walk in a numb zone. I stared at my feet and became non-responsive. People walking by brushed past me on the street and knocked into me, but I didn’t react. I felt as if I had no control over my own body and actions anymore and that’s the worst feeling in the world.

Walking home from Metro was hell. It had become pitch black and men were still trying to talk to me on the street. I once again didn’t respond, and thankfully they didn’t respond in crazed anger.

I know there’s a movement of men like this guy on the Internet who have blogs and YouTube channels devoted towards this racial misogyny, but to have it right in my face is something else. These men think they own black women, and when rejected by a woman of their own race they take it to the extreme. After the Asia McGowan/Anthony Powell murder/suicide in Detroit a few months back (another man who wanted black women while hating them at the same time, and made hateful videos about it on his YouTube channel), today’s incident reminded me that I am not safe and that my best interests aren’t important. It sickens me that someone will hate the whole gender of their own race simply because of the rejection of one individual. If this guy wanted me to start hating all black men to justify his sick actions, well he didn’t win. I can’t hate all black men because of the actions of one sick encounter on the street. His behavior reflects on him, not on all black men.

I can’t talk to my family and friends about this because they think I take a lot of risks when I’m out alone. They’d tell me I shouldn’t have taken his photo, they’d tell me I should’ve just responded to him when he tried to initiate a conversation with me, and they’d tell me I should’ve kept walking when he started to insult me. It’s not fair that I have to do everything as to not upset a harasser, but harassers can do and say what they please. Even if I did respond to his initial catcalls at me, and even if I just walked away and not done anything, there’s no guarantee that he wouldn’t have still gone mad.

After today, I have no choice but to be a docile, submissive woman. I don’t know what else to do. And after knowing the police don’t have my back, I have to do everything in my power to protect myself.

– Fearful

Location: N. Quincy Street (between Wilson and N. Glebe) – Arlington, VA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

I got 200

August 6, 2009 By Contributor

Walking to my job one day I noticed a man masturbating to me walking down the street — he was in the passenger seat of a white van.

Coming home from a club late at night (into early morning) I was on the train heading home and a man sat next to me — too close — and eventually whispered into my ear, “I got 200.” I didn’t know what he was talking about at first, then it dawned on me that he was soliciting me. I felt weird but still the train had other people on it so I just said, loud enough for others to hear, “I’m not a prostitute, dude,” and the guy slinked off.

Those are two of the worst times.

– anonymous

Location: Chicago, IL

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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