Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

It’s time harassing men faced real consequences for their actions

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I was walking down the street in downtown Denver, Colorado, near the State Capitol, in July 2008 minding my own business. I know people love to blame women and what we wear for the rude, threatening and harassing behavior of men. Because of course, men can’t in any way be held responsible for their actions and reactions to women, right? It’s always the woman’s fault. Well, I’m tired of being blamed. So, I’m not even going to mention what I was wearing because it is irrelevant. I was wearing what millions of American women wear every summer. I will leave it at that. I’m sure someone else will want to blame me for where I was walking, as if I had no right to walk freely where I want in my own city in broad daylight. I’m not going to take any blame for that either. The men in this scenario are to blame.

I was walking down the street and there were two men ahead of me. I didn’t think anything of it. But suddenly, they must have heard me walking behind them, even though I was still quite a distance away. Then, they both stopped and stood there in the middle of the sidewalk, staring and leering at me. Two men against one woman. I despised them at that moment.

I slowed down to assess the situation. Even though it was the middle of the afternoon in broad daylight, there was no one else around at the time. I felt scared and nervous because they just kept standing there staring at me as I walked toward them. As I approached them, one man extended his arms, asking for a hug, the other just stood there and glared at me with this mean look. I walked a wide half-circle around them and I said “Stop staring at me and leave me alone!!! Stop harassing women!!!” The one who held out his arms acquiesced and said, “Alright, we will.” Just like that. I continued to watch my back as I walked further away from them. The other man continued to give me a mean stare as I walked by. I stared right back at him.

I continued on until I got to a place where there were a lot more people and got on the light rail train I needed. But the feelings of anger and injustice of that event remain to this day. These jerks got to harass, disturb my peace of just walking down the street, minding my own business. What right did they have to stand there and stare at me, making me feel unsafe? Who are these men, who think they have the right to disrupt women’s lives like this without consequences.

But there are consequences, more than they’ll ever realize. These types of men make women HATE them. It makes us want to take action against them. I should never have had to deal with that. No woman should. Yet, we are forced to day in and day out by a culture that sees women primarily as sex objects with body parts that are toys for immature, stupid men to play with.

So, I ask you, what did I do to deserve being treated this way by 2 men I’d never seen before in my life. I was female, that’s what. Guilty as charged. Because these men are so weak and selfish and powerless, they feel a temporary rise in a feeling of false power by harassing women who are strangers to them. Mature men know that power can never come from harming another person, by demeaning them with disrespectful behavior.

I’m writing this because this is only one of many occasions of harassment I have had to deal with in my life. I’ve been harassed when wearing summer clothes. I’ve had men make unwanted comments to me wearing winter coats and clothes. I’ve been followed in grocery stores, had men I didn’t know stare me down in parking lots as I put groceries in my trunk. I’ve had men “hitting on me” on the train and while I waited for trains, to the point of being intrusive and rude. I’ve been sexually harassed at work, having pornographic emails sent to me on company email. I’ve had men make rude, unwanted overtures to me as I walked into my apartment complex. I’ve had men stare at my breasts through binoculars. Need I say anymore?

I’ve had it with men. I’ve heard men say out of anger, when they hear of women filing complaints of sexual harassment, how they want to make women pay. Funny how men have no idea of how much women like me want to make them pay. And they will.

This harassment is a problem. I’m tired of it being minimized. I’m tired of women being given all the responsibility to stop it. I’m tired of there being no legislation to protect women. I’m tired of men being given a free pass to harass women and not be expected to take any responsibility for controlling themselves. I refuse to take any blame for these despicable men’s behavior.

– L.S.

Location: Denver, Colorado

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Tunisian street harassment

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Being in Tunisia for the summer, street harassment is an incessant issue for me. I’m often told by other Americans that I just need to deal with it, because it’s just part of their culture and I shouldn’t insult a different culture. I’m told by Tunisians to just ignore it, which is hardly a satisfying response, but provoking them is often just as worse. I’m also told by people, like my mother, that i should stop complaining because it’s a compliment, and I’ll miss it when I’m old and don’t get cat called anymore. (I even wrote about this in my blog, http://independentlyowned.wordpress.com/2009/06/29/transnational-gender-stereotypes/)

The harassment is usually low-level, and comes in the form of “Hello, miss,” “Bonjour,” “Very nice,” kissing noises, or other such small yet obnoxious comments. They usually say it when they’re just about to pass me, when they’re closest to me for that one brief second. They obviously don’t expect me to respond, otherwise they wouldn’t wait until the last moment. It’s merely a way of asserting their power over women, because they feel that they have a right to comment to any woman that they wish but they’re not giving us the right to respond back. It’s like getting into an argument with someone where they go on a rant and then hang up the phone, or sign offline. They don’t respect you enough to allow you to respond, nor do they care.

Other times harassment comes in the form of intense stares. They might not say anything, but instead glare you down until you’re out of their line of vision. Nothing will come of it if you do or don’t respond, but it is the most unsettling feeling. It is especially bad when dozens of men are all sitting at a street cafe and all stare as you walk by. It is not flattering, and I feel like an animal on display at the zoo.

Most people say just to ignore it, but this is hardly satisfying, and often impossible. Even if I pretend like they don’t exist, they still did what they wanted to do and I feel used. They still leave the situation satisfied and thinking that what they did was totally okay.

No matter what I wear I will get harassed, even when I was here in the winter and was completely covered I still got harassed. Some Americans suggest that I wear hijab to avoid it, but especially seeing as it is not required of women, and in fact more than half the women do not wear it, I feel like I shouldn’t have to resort to such (in my opinion) oppressive measures just to be able to walk freely down the street. Also, I might still get harassed simply because I’m white and thus foreigner. The burden should not be on me to cover myself and look “less desirable,” especially when most women wear the highest fashions, but it should be the responsibility of the men to behave in public.

– Katie Franklin

Location: Tunisia

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Street Harassment Round Up – July 12

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Stories:

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

In the News:

  • Time.com published a good article about how the Egyptian government is tackling sexual harassment (including street harassment) through religion by distributing new books on sexual harassment to 50,000 imams at mosques across Egypt.
  • A taxi driver in Perth, Western Australia, who allegedly sexually assaulted a female passenger in February is now being charged with that crime.
  • Carmella Etienne, a transgender female, alleges she was hit by rocks and a beer bottle and threatened in Queens.
  • Since June 19, there have been nearly a dozen reports of a man slapping women on their backsides on the subway around Crown Heights in Brooklyn, NY.
  • Jessica Reed asks in a blog post on UK’s Guardian website: “What is it about a woman on a bike that attracts such unwelcome attention?

Announcements:

  • RightRides in NYC has just expanded their services of a free ride home from Saturday nights to include Friday nights too! They offer this service from 11:59 p.m. – 3 a.m. in 45 neighborhoods across four boroughs. To call for a ride, the dispatch number is (718) 964-7781 OR (888)215-SAFE (7233).

Street Harassment Resource of the Week:

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Dealing with it the wrong way

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There is only one road where I can walk my dog to the local park in London, UK and a man has been beeping his car horn or waving and smiling at me every time he sees me alone.

I don’t know him and I don’t want to know him so I’ve never responded in the 6 months or so he’s been doing it – until recently when he did it twice in one day and actually slowed, leered, waved and said hello. I shouted at him to F… Off in no uncertain terms and that was definitely the wrong way.

He has carried on doing it and now he knows for sure he’s really bothering me; just great. He lives in a cul-de-sac and I can see where he lives with his offending car parked outside – until I shouted at him that is. Now he’s hiding his car in his garage, I wonder why? I am tempted to go knock on his door and say ‘Here I am then, you keep trying to get my attention in the street, now what do you want?’ or ‘Is your wife home? Can I have a word with her?’ I guess these idiots rely on women not having the nerve to do that and they’re right. I hate it – why should we be forced into an unwanted confrontation?

Why does this guy persist when he knows I know where he lives? Why do harassers TRUST us? And nobody else sees it as a big problem so we get no support.

– anonymous

Location: London

[Editor’s note: the author selected the blog title; I don’t think there is a “right” or “wrong” way to deal with harassment, we all must choose what’s best for ourselves in each harassment incident]

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Street Harassment Round Up – July 5

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Stories:

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

In the News:

Upcoming Events:

  • July 8 (8 – 11:55 p.m.): SafeWalk Benefit by Friends of RightRides to help offset the operational costs of SafeWalk to provide safe, free walks to any destination in the northern Brooklyn area on Friday nights. Cost: $6-10 sliding scale. Location: Silent Barn, 915 Wyckoff, Brooklyn, NY. More info
  • July 10 (7 – 10 p.m.): BACK UP! concrete diaries documentary screening as part of Docs in Progress. Cost: $5 suggested donation. Location: George Washington University Media & Public Affairs Building, 805 21st Street NW, Auditorium B-07, Washington, DC. More info

Street Harassment Resource of the Week:

Joan Fayer’s article “Changes in Gender Use of Public Space in Puerto Rico,” in Voices in the Street: Explorations in Gender, Media, and Public Space, eds Susan J. Drucker and Gary Gumpert (New Jersey: Hampton Press, Inc: 1996).

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