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“Stop normalizing harassment and disrespect”

March 3, 2017 By Contributor

I was walking home late from class or work, getting off the train in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, where a man stopped me to ask for my number. I was flattered, but then he mentioned seeing me around catching the train in the morning and knew the street I lived on. Of course, now I grew concerned, said thank you, but no thanks and began to walk away.

This man began to follow me, ask why I wouldn’t give him a chance and what harm was there giving him my number. I continued to politely dismiss him hoping he will stop and walk away, but he didn’t. Now being two blocks from my home, I decided to walk in the backyard of some random house hoping he thought I lived there. I waited for an hour before going back out in the open. I knew trying to use my phone could have triggered something, so staying calm and playing dumb was what I thought at the time was my best chance of getting out of that situation.

No woman should have to behave around a human being as if he was a wild animal ready to attack, but that is what happened. I moved soon after because I began to collect more experiences like this one. I realize now that I am older how lucky I was to get out of situations that didn’t escalate. I really wouldn’t have to feel lucky if all men knew that harassment wasn’t right or acceptable anywhere.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

We must educate our male counterparts and stop normalizing harassment and disrespect. We must heal the minds of those who think women in society as a whole no matter their ethnicity, culture, religion or sexual orientation are just objects that breathe.

– Majella Mark

Location: Brooklyn, NY

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

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“Forcing your presence on someone is never okay”

March 3, 2017 By Contributor

I was waiting at a bus stop with headphones on, and a man standing near me stared intently at me. He started talking to me and didn’t stop until I removed my headphones. He asked increasingly personal questions about me (where I go to school, what’s my name, where do I live, etc.) while ignoring my refusal to answer most of them, then started asking me to get a drink with him. He continued to ask, despite multiple refusals, until the bus came.

Once on the bus, he stood close to me and stared until I got to my stop. I got off and ran home, hoping he wasn’t following me, but feeling as if I had overreacted. The next day, I walked to a bus stop in a completely different part of the city. I heard my first name and felt someone grab my arm. It was the same man from the night before. He started pulling me towards him, saying that this was fate and we had to get a drink now, and kept a tight grip on my arm. I was pulling and asking him to leave me alone, all while dozens of pedestrians walked right past us, ignoring the scene.

I was finally able to free my arm from his grasp and ran across the street, dodging traffic, and jumped onto a bus going the wrong direction just to get away. I had never felt so violated and alone. I had no control over the situation and it felt like no one was willing to help me. I was shaking and continuously checking that he hadn’t made it on to the bus as well.

An elderly woman gave me a kind smile and patted my arm without saying anything. That gesture did so much to comfort me and helped me know that I’m not invisible.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

The most important action we can take to make public places safer is teaching everyone, boys especially, that any form of harassment is unacceptable. We should teach our children (and adults, because clearly they still need to learn) that forcing your presence on someone is never okay. We cannot let this behavior continue to be normalized. As women and allies, we must not continue to turn a blind eye if we see any harassment

– AC

Location: Rome, Italy

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

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“Harassment is bad is bad is bad”

March 2, 2017 By Contributor

That Saturday changed the feelings i had towards men. And i can remember what i said the day i was harassed, i said, “I hope it becomes a criminal offense to harass girls”.

First of all let me just say this, “in a country/society that profits from your self doubt, loving yourself is a rebellious act,” i am a rebel…i was raised in a country that made me feel like my gender is a burden, by condoning all sorts of assault against girls. I decided to go to the market on a Saturday to buy things for school.. A man walked up to me, he said,”Orobo how are you?”

“Orobo is a term for girls that wear size 14-16.” i didn’t say anything. The next thing he did was to start pulling me back, staring at my breasts, then talking about how big they looked. He even said it looked like the soft type. I struggled hard before i was able to pull my hands out of his palm…

What if i am a girl? I felt worthless and i remember crying myself to sleep that night because when i got home, i told my neighbors about it and there were like,”Dress better next time.”

Really? Since when did a girl need to be modest to be respected? I was well dressed that day, i dressed the way the society expected me to. Please, harassment against women is horrible, i know because i’ve experienced firsthand what it feels like. I could go on and on about my experience about it, but i would have to write a whole book.

Any form of harassment against any girl in Australia or Kenya is an attack against me and all the girls in the whole wide world. Saynotobodyshaming Saynotoharassment Now i know my gender is not a burden, as a matter of fact, it’s the reason i thrive.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Let’s start with creating sign boards in public places warning against harassment: “Harassment is bad is bad is bad”

– Moyo

Location: Mainland/Lagos state/ Nigeria/ market

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

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“I just hope my sisters and friends haven’t or won’t ever experience the same”

March 1, 2017 By Contributor

When I turned 16 I was very excited to go out and get a job of my own. I went to the downtown area of my city, going from place to place asking for job applications. I was waiting for the light in the crosswalk to change, and a car pulls up at the red light next to me. The guys in the car rolled down their windows and shouted at me, “Hey baby, how’s it hanging!” and they continued to whistle and jeer at me until their light changed. I ignored them, but I knew from how hot my face felt that it was turning a beet red. In a little city that is typically so liberal and very accepting, I didn’t expect it. It baffles me that guys maybe 4 or 5 years, or maybe even more, would shout like that at a teenage girl. Or any woman for that matter. I think back on it now and again and I wonder what possessed them to do that. I just hope my sisters and friends haven’t or won’t ever experience the same, whether it’s to a lesser degree like my own experience, or if it’s something greater.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Support each other. Call out the person if you see harassment.

– Gwen H.

Location: Main Street, Royal Oak, MI

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

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“It didn’t stop until I left the country”

February 28, 2017 By Contributor

The street harassment went on practically everyday when I was 12-14. Every time I walked to and from school I was leered at, and often men three times my age winked or remarked at me. I was never touched, thank god (though I have been before, just not on the street). I remember walking by a man and I had an over-sized jacket on, looking like a mess, yet he still felt the need to go, “Oh my god…”. I never replied. I was taught not to, though I often scratched my face with my rude finger. It didn’t stop until I left the country.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

TEACH PEOPLE THAT IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE TO STREET HARASS. If you’re a victim, there is nothing you can do. It’s too threatening. The only people who can make things somewhere safer are the ones doing the endangering in the first place.

– Anonymous

Location: Lebanon

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: lebanon, young age

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