The first time a man hollered at me in the street
i was barely 13
and managed a few lungfuls of air before freezing in terror
but thought
i might be beautiful

the second time a man hollered at me in the street
he told me to smile
and i did, with a lump in my throat
because i have been taught to please others
and i thought
i might be beautiful

the third time a man hollered at me in the street
telling me he’d like to suck my pussy
i felt so much more than i could explain
and blamed myself
but thought
i might be beautiful

the fourth time a man hollered at me in the street
i learned this is how men act
and i forgave
because i have been taught to forgive
and i thought
i might be beautiful

the fifth time a man hollered at me in the street
his gaze like a heat-seeking missile
i was so conscious of my body
in public space
it felt like a battleground
– for him, a playground

and his approval filled me with shame
and i no longer
wanted to be beautiful
just sure-footed and militant
shouting back

F**K YOU!

– Michelle Ryder

Location: USA

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

Where do I begin? I, unfortunately, have so many stories. As a victim of street and sexual harassment, this is something I had to learn to never shy away from speaking about. I have been told I’m too sensitive and I should let it slide – to hell with that mentality. I will continue to be sensitive and be vocal about this issue.

My most recent incident was with a man (working as security) following me around Georgetown, D.C. He was persistent in trying to get to know me: my name, my number, and where I was going. I told him to leave me alone, and my response made him more aggressive. He grabbed my left arm and demanded an answer from me. I pushed him away and told him to leave me alone, again. Lucky for me, it was busy that night, and I was able to escape him between the crowd. I rushed into a hotel and stayed in the bathroom for 20 minutes – to catch my breath and make sure he was gone.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Raise more awareness and have men step in and help us. We need all the help we can get. I am fed up.

– AAA

Location: M St./Georgetown

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

I was walking home around 10 pm when I saw a car with tinted windows slow to my walking speed and the passenger seemed to wave, or gesture to me, but I thought that must not be the case and I kept walking. The car sped off but as I walked up to a parking lot in the block ahead of me, the same car was parked, facing me. The driver honked as I approached and the passenger, who was already out of the car, started to approach me and began asking me questions, calling me baby, and started to follow me, but I ignored them. The guy returned to the car and began to follow me in the car, on the street, at walking speed with the window down, heckling me. I could see a local bar ahead of me and hurried to reach the people standing on the curb. I reached the bar patrons and stood with them hoping the car would leave. Instead they pulled up to the curb and began to climb out. This was really scary and unprovoked. I hurried into the bar ready to look for help, and my pursuers sped off. I didn’t know if they had just parked farther down the street again so I waited in the bar, and as I waited, their car went down the street twice, apparently looking to see if I had headed back out.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Practically, lighted main streets is hugely helpful. Additionally, advocating for victims to report to police will help notify law enforcement about particularly unsafe areas.

I think that altering the way that men view women in such a way that women are equals who do not enjoy or deserve harassment is key to preventing street harassment. However, that is obviously a nebulous problem.

– CAT

Location: On College Avenue near Rockridge BART station in Oakland, California USA

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

It was a cool summer night in Florence, stores were closing, people stood huddled in groups outside their shops discussing the day’s events. I was returning from the dinner party thrown by my college for the graduating students. I was alone walking back for about 20 minutes. I was wearing stilettos which were rather difficult to walk in on the cobbled streets. All along the way I met several men who glanced and glared at me, saying things in Italian which I didn’t quite understand. I was feeling rather uncomfortable by now, however I was just a few minutes away from my place. “Almost there” I reassured myself.

As soon as I reached the crossroads before my street, a man selling umbrellas started pursuing me, trying to talk. Asking generic questions like where I was from, if I would like to buy an umbrella etc. I didn’t respond much. He kept following me. There happens to be an alley you’ve to go through to get to my street. As soon as we reached there, there weren’t many people, he started getting too close. In an attempt to get away, I started walking faster. But alas! My stilettos! I caught my shoe on something and hurt the side of my foot, almost broke my metatarsal and tore a tendon, nearly tripped when he caught me tightly around my waist and gripped my arm. I forcefully pushed him away and continued walking on the sidewalk.

My foot was shaking and hurt horribly but I couldn’t afford to stop. He closed in, saying stuff like, “I young, you beautiful, I love you” and started to feel me up. He rubbed my behind, and I lost my cool. I’m a peace-loving person. I didn’t feel up to it but thought I just had to fight back. I raised a finger & threatened to beat him in a quivering voice (impaired sense of judgement in the moments of crisis I guess). I thought he’d take me away. I was scared, and angry and overwhelmed, trying to make sense, anticipate what he might do next. He didn’t back off so I punched his jaw, just then a couple happened to walk by, he saw them, muttered something and walked away.

I quickly got home and sat in one place till what had happened could sink in. I had never thought such a thing would happen to me.  wondered what would have happened if the couple hadn’t walked by that day. if he had countered my hits and hit back. I was no match for him. The illusion of safety shattered. I saw how vulnerable I was. I had felt helpless, weak & out of control in those moments – like anybody could do anything to me against my will.

I was alone in a foreign country in one of the safest cities. The feeling of being looked at and groped by a hungry, lustful touch made me feel the most disgusting I had ever felt in my entire life. I had to catch a flight and get back to my country the next day. Busy days ahead. My foot ache didn’t get better for weeks, reminding me of that night every time that i took a step forward, reliving those moments. It hurt more psychologically than physically.

– Swara J.

Location: Florence, Italy

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.