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“In Deutschland läuft Street Harrasement teilweise sehr subtil ab”

November 12, 2016 By HKearl

Was mich beim Durchlesen des Buches als Vorschau bei Amazon, wieder mal schockierte ist, dass man als Frau tatsächlich oft den Job wechseln muss, und bei der Wohnungssuche genau hinschauen muss, ob die Wohnung auch tatsächlich frei von harrasierenden Nachbarn ist – bäm!

Die ganzen Geschichten, die ich in Deutschland bei #aufschrei, Stopp Street Harrasement und anderen Foren gelesen hatte, bei denen finde ich mich überall wieder. Nur das mit der Wohnung und der beruflichen Arbeit, das habe ich bisher noch nicht gewusst.

Wie alle Frauen dachte ich, das ist mein eigenes individuelles Problem.

Das Schlimme bei der ganzen Street Harrasement-Sache ist, dass man als Frau individuell exponiert wird ! Dass heißt, dass es immer so dargestellt wird, dass einem nur selber passiert – anderen nicht! Und der Grund dafür ist, dass man das durch seine dümmliche, lächerliche, komische oder ungeschickte Gesamtpersönlichkeit alles selbst produziert resp. provoziert hat – also infolge selbst daran schuld ist.

Anstatt Hilfe, Schutz und Trost, bekommt man hier in Deutschland Beschimpfungen ab. Das allein reicht aber nicht – nein es werden darauf auch noch Schuldgefühle gepackt !!! Jede einzelne Frau ist für diese Katastrophe selbst und ganz alleine verantwortlich. Es ist nahezu unerträglich.

Mehr oder minder deutlich bekommt man das immer wohldosiert von seinen Mitmenschen vermittelt, falls man sich denen überhaupt noch anvertraut. In Deutschland läuft Street Harrasement teilweise sehr subtil ab. Also – beispielsweise merkt man beim Gehen auf der Straße oder beim Warten auf die Bahn, oder sogar beim Autofahren, dass sich plötzlich so eine schwere, perverse, hochaggressive und belastende Kraft im Rücken befindet – oft auch schon körpernah. Bis man sich dessen aber bewusst ist, ist man schon erschreckt und dreht sich refexartig um. Dann schaut man in die bösartig und ironisch grinsende Fratze eines Mannes – der einem direkt in die Augen schaut! Ein richtig stechender Blick, der schmerzhaft ist! Es ist klar, was dieser Mann sich in diesem Moment vorstellt! Aber damit nicht genug – er tut auch noch so, als ob der Versuch der ungewollten Kontaktaufnahme von mir ausginge!

Das Alter und das Aussehen des Mannes ist gleichgültig, das geht durch alle Schichten und Altersgruppen. Und er lässt nicht locker – die ganze Fahrt geht das so – minutenlang – ich werde angestarrt und fixiert, gefühlte Stunden. Ich vermeide jeglichen Blickkontakt und versuche tiefenentspannt zu sein und zu bleiben. Das ist im Alltag schwer, denn man hat, wie jeder andere Mensch auch, ein Leben mit all seinen Problemen, Verpflichtungen und Belastungen. Und auch Tage an denen man gute Laune hat. Es erregt Aufmerksamkeit – das ist mir zudem auch noch sehr unangenehm und peinlich! Alle schauen geifernd zu! Wenn die Bahn nicht voll ist, gehe ich weg, setze mich woanders hin. Und wenn ich Zeit habe, steige ich aus und nehme den nächsten Zug. Sind andere Leute dabei – dann kann ich in der Regel aller Fälle davon ausgehen, dass ich nicht mit Unterstützung und Hilfe rechnen kann – NEIN ! Und NEIN – schlimmer noch ! Die anwesenden Männer, (auch Frauen!), halten gegen mich zusammen, sie versuchen mich zu kompromittieren, versuchen mich bloßzustellen. Mit der Absicht und der Hoffnung, dass ich die Fassung verliere, dass es zum Eklat kommt, bei dem ich die negative Hauptrolle habe. Ich bin die eigentlich Böse.

Ich werde zu viert oder zu fünft auf diese perverse passiv-aggressive Art attackiert und belästigt, man(n) starrt und fixiert mich an, mit der Absicht mich möglichst beschimpfen zu können. Werde ich infolge wütend oder sage etwas dagegen, dann hat er sein Ziel erreicht und ich werde beschimpft. Ich werde als dumme Ziege hingestellt. Beliebter Ausspruch dabei ist, mit einer völlig unverständlichen Haltung, sarkastischem Grinsen und einer gehörigen Portion Ironie in der Stimme:”was hat sie denn nur – wasn mit der los ?! HaHaHa !”.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

It must be done a puplik acknowledgement everyday and for everyone. All these thing sagte happened undercover.

– Tamina

Location: Germany: Street, at work, Train, waiting for paying in the markets

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for idea
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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“I had to sacrifice my run for these men”

November 9, 2016 By Contributor

I was fifteen years old. I was running outside alone on the street in a sports bra, without a shirt on, because it was hot and I have problems running in the heat (even a light tank top makes a difference). I was being stared at by many middle aged men and once I was honked at by what looked like some twenty year old guy in beat up truck. I was appalled because I clearly look like a fifteen year old and he had to be twenty. I ran with my shirt on for the remainder and ran slower so I would not get too hot. I had to sacrifice my run for these men.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I have no clue. We now will have a bad role model for president. If Mr. President can “grab people by the pussy” then what is stopping other men?

– SW

Location: Longboat Key, FL

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for idea
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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: older male harasser, running, teenager

“He told me I had ‘No where to run.’

November 5, 2016 By Contributor

I was walking to school, and when I was nearing the bottom of a hill a construction worker looked at me, smiled, and as I passed he told me I had “No where to run.” This type of thing had never happened to me before,it was the middle of the day. I love walking to school but I don’t know when I’ll be comfortable with it again.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Maybe get into the habit of reporting people instead of just letting it go because the persons “a jerk who won’t actually do anything”.

– Anonymous

Location: San Francisco, a block from Lombard Street

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for idea
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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: teenager

“I had no idea how to react to him, he broke my brain”

November 2, 2016 By Contributor

My boyfriend and I were on a date to see a movie. We had time to kill so we went to check out a Barnes and Nobles bookstore. We were together for most of the time walking the aisles. We stopped into the store’s Starbucks, sat at a table, and everything seemed perfectly normal. He wasn’t finished with his coffee yet so I decided to go back to looking at books and I told him to catch up when he was done.

I went to the language section in the far back left corner of the store near the bathrooms. I looked over and there were some women in the far aisles. I was so into the books that I hadn’t noticed a guy come up beside me until he spoke. “Can I ask you a question?” He was tall with curly hair and glasses and his voice had some kind of accent I didn’t recognize. “Sure, what’s up?”

“Where can I take you to f**k the shit out of you?”

My mind just completely stopped working. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“Um, no.”

“Why not?” He seemed to actually be aggravated by my answer.

“Because no.”

“That’s not a reason, why not?”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“I don’t see him, where is he? I insist.”

“No.”

My stomach dropped when I turned my back on him and no one was in the aisle with me. We were right next to the bathrooms, in the far back of the store. It would have been nothing for him to pick me up. But he let me go.

I told the manager on duty and pointed him out. The manager didn’t do anything, but he kept an eye on him. I guess he really couldn’t take my word against his. I coaxed my boyfriend to leave with me but only told him what happened once we were at the theater. I didn’t need him to go to jail over one jerk with no manners.

It was crazy, I’ve never experienced that kind of aggression before. I attract quiet, sweet, soft-spoken guys. I had no idea how to react to him, he broke my brain. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about what I would or should do in that situation. This kind of thing always felt like something that happened far away, to other people.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

It’s like the schools that send girls home for unacceptable clothing. It’s not the place, the clothes, or the outside variables. Boys need to be taught to respect women.

– R.B.

Location: Tyler, TX

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for idea
s.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“A Chill Went Down My Spine”

November 1, 2016 By Contributor

I was unloading groceries in my mom’s car’s trunk as she ran into the store to get something she forgot. I hard a car running and when I turned around, I saw a man with short brown hair and a face broken out in acne staring at me from his silver car. My initial impression was that he was waiting for me to move my car, but that didn’t make sense. My mom parked far away from the building where there aren’t other car because she doesn’t want her car to be hit by car doors or carts. Then I thought maybe he knew me. Or maybe he saw my underwear as I leaned over to grab groceries and put them in the car?

He never rolled the window down or said anything. He just stared and looked away when he saw me looking at him. Cars were going around him. I thought maybe he was drunk because he seemed really nervous and odd. I got a weird weird feeling. So I sped up putting things away, and went to put the cart very close to the building instead of in the cart rack nearby. I kept watching him behind my back. He parked his car a space from my mom’s and waited for me to get back to my car. A chill went down my spine. I didn’t know what he was going to do. I could still see him watching me. So I went toward the store like I was going inside. When he saw me going toward the store, he pulled out and sped off.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

Get to where there are people and always have a plan when you are alone. Be observant of your surroundings.

– Emily

Location: Ballwin, Mo

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for idea
s.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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