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“He is not free to harass, intimidate, and spit on other women”

September 10, 2016 By Contributor

This creep followed me as I was exiting the subway and tried to block me while using words that even I don’t say….so when he went up the stairs I took the elevator. I got to street level and he blocked the elevator and wouldn’t let me out, wouldn’t let the doors close, so I took his picture. He tried to get in with me and I managed to run out under his arm (thank goodness I am short!) and ran for subway steps. He followed, and spit on me (good aim unfortunately). He followed me to CVS, and them ambled away to harass the next woman. The entire time, of course, he was laughing, cursing, harassing, and I was trying to just get away from him. The rest of the pedestrians just stood by watching even though I asked them to call the police a few times. I got the police to come a few minutes later and they said the could and would do NOTHING. He is not free to harass, intimidate, and spit on other women.

– JD

Location: 14th and 8th Ave. in Manhattan

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

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“It made me very angry that such idiots are walking around and harassing women”

September 5, 2016 By Contributor

While I was working, my fiancée was on her way to the local parcel shop. At the bus stop an idiot harassed her from across the street. He shouted things like sexy etc. at her. She became very upset about the harassment and texted me. I could calm her down but later in the day when she was shopping another guy harassed her on the street! When I came home, she was very sad and felt insecure due to what happened. It made me very angry that such idiots are walking around and harassing women.

My fiancée did not want to post her experiences so I did it for her to show the world what scum is out there even in Islington, a district I love so much.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Harder laws against harassment. A strong shift in society to tackle sexism and pornography.

– Martin

Location: Holloway, Islington, London, UK

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

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Filed Under: male perspective, Stories, street harassment

“WHY should I have to change my routine when I did nothing wrong?”

September 2, 2016 By Contributor

Last night I walked to my boxing class one street over from my house. I crossed the street right at my house and two teen boys repeatedly called out to me – loud and at least 20 times. They then started to say, “Bend over and back that up” as many times as they had previously called out to me. I ignored them the whole time. They then started to say, “You with the red bag.”

At that point I started to get scared because I thought they might come after me. I ran through the shortcut to the next street. On my way back home, I walked home on a busy street in case they were around. When I told someone about it, they said I should drive to class from now on. WHY should I have to change my routine when I did nothing wrong???? I’m 46 years old, btw.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I have no idea. When I told some people they said “good for you” until they heard how it had escalated with what they were saying. Some people see it as a compliment. It’s not. It’s scary and you never know when verbal harassment could turn into an assault.

– Anonymous

Location: Canada

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

USA: Calling Out Oppression in Order to Change It

August 30, 2016 By Correspondent

Deborah D’Orazi, LMSW, NY, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

Earlier this summer as I walked in New York City after a date, I noticed a man on his bike swerving and inching closer and closer to me. I was slow to pick up on it at first. It was a warm summer evening and I was enjoying the long walk to Penn Station while listening to some music, happy that my date went well, when I realized the man on his bike looked like he either lost control or was not paying attention to who was in his path. Nervous that he would hit me, I kept moving out of the way, swerving in different directions and walking as fast as I could away from an oncoming collision. Just as I thought the bike would hit me, he swerved a tiny bit away from me and called out, “Hey Beautiful!” and made kissing noises while leaning in towards my face. I leaned away and ran as fast as I could away from him and towards the cross walk.

Forget feeling good about the date I just enjoyed or the beautiful weather. Forget the enjoyment I was reveling in from the new music to which I was listening. I was now constantly looking over my shoulder and around me to see if the man on the bike was following me. After a few blocks I felt reassured that he was not following me, but my headphones stayed out and I was now on constant alert just in case someone else decided they needed to make themselves known to me through harassment.

Further reflection on this summer, unfortunately, revealed many instances of misogynistic, racist, xenophobic, and homophobic harassment. Leslie Jones, of Saturday Night Live and “Ghostbusters” fame, was recently harassed, trolled, and attacked online and through twitter with misogynoir threats and the hacking of her personal information on her own webpage. While she stood strong after the first instance we have yet to hear from her after her personal information was leaked. A man was sentenced to a 40-year prison sentence in Georgia after dumping scolding hot water on a gay couple while they slept. Muslim women in France were harassed and ordered to remove their burkinis in public due to xenophobic and Islamaphobic fears.

Overall, these incidents reflect that street harassment is not just a one-time incident or something that someone can ignore. It is a building block of power and oppression that literally shapes how people view themselves and society. It also shapes how society will treat communities and individuals. These incidents of harassment are tools of oppression and are ultimately traumatic events. As Dr. Judith Herman explains in Trauma and Recovery:

“Psychological trauma is an affliction of the powerless. At the moment of trauma, the victim is rendered helpless by overwhelming force. When the force is that of nature, we speak of disasters. When the force is that of other human beings, we speak of atrocities. Traumatic events overwhelm the ordinary systems of care that give people a sense of control, connection, and meaning.”

We must recognize harassment for what it really is—trauma, an oppressive tactic, a power play, a tool used consciously or unconsciously to dominate and erase those deemed unworthy or powerless by society. Harassment creates trauma by causing an individual to lose and question a sense of self and community. That is why it is extremely important that we speak up and refuse to be silent in the face of such oppressive tactics. It is extremely hard and sometimes we will not be able to do so out of fear or some type of inability to do so.

We are only human, but the only change I see in fighting street harassment and other building blocks of oppression is by calling it out for what it is and continuing to speak and act. That is the only way change will occur.

Deborah is a recent MSW graduate who also received certification from American University’s Women and Politics Institute and Rutgers’ Center on Violence Against Women and Children. In addition to social work, Deborah is looking to pursue an MPP/MPA and she is also extremely passionate about the arts (theater, writing, film, television, fine art, poetry, performance art), history, and Hamilton.

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Filed Under: correspondents, News stories, Stories, street harassment

“It is unacceptable regardless of who does it”

August 28, 2016 By Contributor

I was walking downtown on my lunch break, and I saw an older man in a wheelchair who looked possibly homeless. I had a bad feeling walking toward him. I knew it was going to happen. I did my best to look studiously away, but predictably, the catcall came: “You’re too young to be that pretty.”

I was angry. I wanted to flip him off, kick him in the balls, do anything to let him know that that was wrong. Instead, in the response ingrained in women for our own safety, my instincts took over to keep me walking and ignoring. By the time I remembered that it was daylight in a public place and it would be safe to respond, I was probably far enough past him that he wouldn’t even see me flip him off. I realize this is a slightly different issue with the homeless in that they are in some ways exerting power the only way they can. That does not make it right. It is unacceptable regardless of who does it.

– SK

Location: Salt Lake City, UT

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for idea
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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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