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USA: Street Harassment is the “Global” Trigger That Re-Traumatizes Victims

May 11, 2016 By Correspondent

By Shahida Arabi, New York, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

Image via Flickr
Image via Flickr

I grew up in neighborhoods where street harassment was an all-pervasive part of living, breathing and communicating. This is not to say any area is exempt from the threat of street harassment – this form of harassment takes place all over the world and across all cultures. In my own country of origin, Bangladesh, street harassment is incredibly common, along with sexual harassment, and this form of “eve teasing” has even led to the suicides of young girls. I found that my experiences with street harassment in the USA did not differ as drastically as one might think from my experiences in Bangladesh.

Starting from the age of fifteen, I was routinely objectified by older male strangers on the street as a part of my everyday commute in New York. I have been followed, stalked, harassed, asked whether I was “eighteen yet,” told that putting my earphones on were against the law, cursed at for not being responsive, bashed for being sassy and talking back in a way that was not to their liking, and at one point, almost assaulted on a train by a man who followed me from train car to train car until two other men intervened.

These experiences were triggering enough without any prior history of sexual assault, but after I also experienced my first sexual assault on the streets in Bangladesh and then a later, more severe sexual assault in the U.S., street harassment became something even more darker and foreboding – it became a constant trigger that reminded me that my body was not considered my own in this society. Women are constantly reminded – through lingering stares, covert and overt sexual remarks and even touches – that their bodies are the property of the men who desire them and that their consent does not matter.

It began occurring to me that although street harassment has and always will be incredibly traumatizing for all women navigating public spaces, it will also be incredibly re-traumatizing for women whose spirits, minds and bodies have also been violated by assault, rape or physical and/or emotional violence. Those with histories of chronic trauma, who may have PTSD or Complex PTSD, will be even further debilitated by this form of harassment every day as a barrier to a peaceful, safe commute because their brain is already on high alert, scanning the environment for potential threats. As a result, these victims will are likely to experience even more anxiety, rage and depression after an incident of harassment.

RAINN estimates that there is 1 sexual assault every 107 seconds in America and an average of 293,066 victims (age 12 and older) each year. With numbers like these, along the prevalence of childhood sexual abuse and domestic violence, I can only imagine that there are many survivors of abuse and trauma who are being subjected to a dual traumatization on their daily commutes that are leaving them feeling further revictimized. It doesn’t help that street harassment in itself is in fact a very real threat, and many have experienced sexual assault when encountering this form of harassment regardless of their trauma history.

Street harassment also has a strong verbal component which can be psychologically retriggering for survivors of verbal and emotional abuse who may have suffered childhood abuse or long-term abuse in an intimate relationship. Being name-called on the streets as a form of retaliation after rejection as well as in the private space of your home by a spouse, partner or family member can be incredibly jolting. It can reinforce and instill a pervasive sense of helplessness and worthlessness that already exists in other facets of a victim’s life and his or her trauma history.

That is why I call street harassment the “global” trigger – it not only has the capacity to affect every country, it also has the potential to trigger every other trauma experienced in one’s life. It’s an assault and a violation on a woman’s right to navigate public spaces without having her body being considered public space.

Those who trivialize street harassment as a “compliment” are not only ignorant about the deep-seated issues of this patriarchal entitlement to women’s bodies and rape culture, they are also ignorant about the effects of trauma. According to Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score (2014), trauma lives in our bodies and rewires our brains. Incidents of trauma add onto each other and make the brain more and more hypervigilant to threat. When we are traumatized, we can “regress” back to the original trauma through visual flashbacks or ones that have a high emotional component; these are what therapist Pete Walker calls emotional flashbacks.

The people who leer, touch, degrade, objectify women and later rationalize their heinous boundary-breaking behavior with a narcissistic sense of entitlement are essentially prioritizing their selfish desires over the very real needs, boundaries and desires of the victim. Like many other forms of abuse, street harassment is not about sexual desire or flirting – it is about power, control, coercion, devaluation, objectification and manipulation.

Unfortunately, every incident of street harassment builds upon pre-existing trauma and societal stereotypes about women. This cumulative effect traumatizes and continues to re-traumatize victims in an endless cycle of sexual violence against women, especially for those who reside in neighborhoods where street harassment is a pervasive problem.

It’s time that society heed the wake-up call. Street harassment is a serious issue that is part of the larger problems of gender violence and rape culture. It is this everyday microaggression, this global trigger, that has the potential to traumatize and even re-traumatize victims, all over the world.

Shahida is a summa cum laude graduate of Columbia University graduate school and is the author of four books, including The Smart Girl’s Guide to Self-Care and Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare, a #1 Amazon Best Seller. As a passionate advocate for survivors of abuse, sexual assault and trauma, her writing has been featured on many sites. You can follow Shahida on Twitter, her blog Self-Care Haven and join her Facebook community.

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Filed Under: correspondents, Stories Tagged With: bangladesh, NYC, ptsd, sexaul assault, trauma, usa

“Street harassment is scary and is my biggest fear when leaving the house”

May 8, 2016 By Contributor

I think it’s pretty sad how street harassment is something I’m used to at this point.

I love going on walks, they’re relaxing, but at the same time, I feel uncomfortable because of the amount of men staring at me every single time. And over half the time I walk around town, in the middle of the day, I experience cat calling, disgusting comments, whistles, and/or people honking at me. But there are some moments that stand out to me.

The first incident was in 7th grade. I was walking home from school, on the main road I always walked on. As I’m walking, a guy who looked around 20 years old turns the corner and is walking quite a distance in front of me. Pretty normal I guess, no need to be worried. But I found it a bit odd that he kept looking back at me, more than most people. Once I was getting kind of close to him, I crossed the street, and he also crossed. I’m pretty sure I crossed the same street 2 or 3 times and yet he still was crossing when I crossed. At this point I’m in front of him by a bit. I was freaked out, but luckily there was a crossing guard near waiting for the bus of another school to arrive. I thought that I would just wait there for a bit with the crossing guard, but even more luckily, my dad happened to be driving by and picked me up. I just think that this is so creepy. I was 12 and being followed by some guy quite a bit older than me. People shouldn’t have to deal with this whatsoever, especially when you’re just a kid.

And a more recent one: I was walking around town in the day. But I got this pink wig that I loved, so I decided to wear it on my walk. I got honked at twice, whistled at once, and was told to smile. That pissed me off. I just wanted to go on a walk feeling confident. And I wasn’t even wearing anything revealing. I was completely covered, it being the middle of winter. And when I was a few blocks away from my house, on a not so busy road, a guy stopped his vehicle. He was probably around 30 and asked me if I wanted a ride. That was f*cking terrifying to me. I replied with a no thanks. He asked me if I was sure and how far I needed to go. I told him not too far and that I was positive. He said okay then and drove off. I was 16 at the time, and a stranger approached me asking if I wanted to get in his car. I was scared and glad that he didn’t try to pressure me anymore. I bet you that if I was a guy, he wouldn’t have even stopped.

Street harassment is scary and is my biggest fear when leaving the house. By the way, I live in a town that doesn’t even have 20,000 people.

– Anonymous

Location: Town

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: middle school, young age

“Stop making racist and crude sexist remarks”

May 7, 2016 By Contributor

I was at the park with my dad and a (female) friend of ours. We were there doing Acro yoga and minding our own business when these three young guys came and got in the water. At first it was fine then I started hearing what they were saying. I am thirteen years old and they couldn’t have been two years older than me. They were calling each other n****** and were saying very crude sexist things. More than pissing me off it made me sad that they were raised in an environment where they found that they could get attention by doing things like that.

I ignored them as I didn’t want to give them the pleasure of gaining my attention. I felt like going over there and slapping or punching them but I refrained. I also felt like saying, “Hey assholes, stop making racist and crude sexist remarks before I call the police for harassment and they can tell you to stop,” but I refrained. Now I feel bad that I let them get away with it but I know that I did the right thing.

– Claire

Location: Round Rock, Texas

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“Not act like a perv”

May 6, 2016 By Contributor

One day I was just walking because it was a nice day so why not take a walk. I was in Arizona at the time and it’s usually pretty hot but not on this day. This guy drives up to me and asks me where was a certain place and I gave him directions because I’m a very nice person and I wasn’t just gonna say f**k off because I’m a very friendly person.

After I give him the directions he asks me for my number, what size my boobs are, and if I was interested in intercourse. I politely said no thank you and walked away. He continued to try to get my number but he eventually left. I felt sad, mad and angry because a real man shouldn’t be saying that to a woman and should respect her not act like a perv.

– Ashleigh Johnson

Location: Phoenix, AZ

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“It’s about silencing them”

May 5, 2016 By Contributor

I was walking/running to the bus stop to go to campus for classes. I had my yoga mat under one arm; I’m taking yoga to fulfill my university’s Health & Wellness credit. A middle-aged man standing with two others (one man, one woman) calls out to me, “Oooo girl, body lookin’ ready for yoga class” to which I gave a quick reply with my middle finger. Then I hear this: “Yeah, watch what I do to you and that finger bitch”. I look back and see his friends, including the woman, laughing. It was infuriating. It was dehumanizing. It was pure disrespect and sounded like a barely-veiled rape threat.

I began carrying a knife in my bag the next day.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

From childhood onward, teach respect for all people in the home, schools, government, everywhere. Teach fathers to raise sons who won’t grow up thinking it’s okay to yell/whisper intimidating things at women. Street harassment is not and never was about “complimenting” women. It’s about silencing them.

– Emma

Location: Walking to a bus stop

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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