Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“He yelled out ‘SEX PLEASE'”

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I was walking home in broad daylight at approximately 5 p.m. and was 100m from my home when I heard wolf whistling in my direction. I turned and looked at the man who stopped. He then kept looking at me and yelled out, ‘SEX PLEASE’.

I stopped walking and stared at him, before saying in a loud voice, “EXCUSE ME?”

He just smiled and kept looking. I decided it was better to leave the situation than remain and so walked the rest of the way home, but double checked to make sure he wasn’t following me just to be safe. There were plenty of people around but no one said anything!

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Help others in the same situation, don’t be a bystander!

– Liz

Location: South Brisbane, QLD, Australia

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

 

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“I have my own battleground right here”

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Welp, today’s “incident” stands apart in a crowded field of hostile encounters with men.

This one shook me to the core and forced me to surrender what little faith I had in the male species within a patriarchal society. At this point, you are all guilty until proven otherwise, until the day comes when I can enjoy a pastry or beverage in public without being forced to feel fear congealing in my bones or be made to cower in silence as my world is shrunk down to a suffocating zero.

F*ck men, f*ck every single man that has ever felt entitled to a woman’s time, her body or her life. I am so f*cking sick of these ritual humiliations. Of split-second decision making that has my life hanging in the balance. Do I engage or ignore? How quickly could this escalate? Does he have a gun? Are there witnesses? Will they come to my aid? AND f*ck having to ask another man to act like my minder or keeper and escort me to my car, like I had to do again today. (But thank you, whoever you were.)

Right now I have a friend visiting Turkey, a country where, due to political instability, bombings happen with enough frequency that it’s a place one might want to avoid. Yet, statistically, he is safer there, in a country on the brink of war, than I am here, in my OWN F*CKING CITY!

Thanks to the privilege of being a woman, I don’t have to fly anywhere, I have my own battleground right here.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Keep raising awareness, keep the conversation going. Tackle the problem at its root: get men and boys to hold themselves accountable. So long as men continue to be the chief purveyors of street harassment, victim-blaming won’t solve the problem. It’s a ‘men’s problem,” not a “women’s problem.”

– Michelle Ryder

Location: Seattle, WA

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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”Stop staring at me that way. That’s inappropriate.”

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I’m an eighteen year old girl from India. Once, I went to meet my tutor. I was driving my scooter, and I noticed an ATM guard staring at me in a very vulgar and inappropriate manner. At first I felt very intimidated and afraid, but soon I gathered courage. I approached him and said, ”Stop staring at me that way. That’s inappropriate.”

I even threatened to hit him. He felt quite guilty about what he did.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I think girls should somehow gather courage to stand up for themselves. If they feel something is not acceptable, they must tell, just like I did. It’s a bit risky, but also worthwhile. Girls should also learn some martial arts like Kung fu or karate so that they are able to defend themselves.

– S.A.

Location: It just took place on the street, more precisely, at the ATM, India

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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“If you see someone being harassed, intervene”

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I had just gotten to my local train station, which is in the suburbs of Philadelphia, when I heard this man yelling. He was screaming at a young woman who was smoking. She was young and attractive and he was in his 50’s maybe. She was a good 30 or 40 feet away from everyone else on the platform. The stop is completely outside. I know there are signs prohibiting people from smoking around there. She had removed herself from everyone else so her cigarette use shouldn’t have bothered anyone. This man was pointing his finger, shouting that she was a criminal for smoking, and driving the point home with all sorts of other obscenities.

I was surprised at how angry he was. I was like, “Excuse me sir. You need to back up and leave her alone.” He tried to continue his tirade. I calmly, but firmly said, “Stop. I don’t care about the smoking rule, I care that you are harassing her. You don’t have the right to do that. Now stay away from us.” I sat down next to her.

He went back to the rest of the people waiting for the train. She told me he had followed her around the train stop several other times, doing the same thing. She’d tried to stay in the area where smoking was allowed but she didn’t want to be completely isolated after he harassed her the first time. She said I was the first person to ever say anything to him. He also apparently was with his wife.

He targeted this girl because she was alone, her smoking distanced her from everyone else. He felt like he could insult her and get away with it. If it had truly been about a cigarette, he would have asked politely for her to move farther away, or complained to a conductor once on the train. He was a bully and backed down once he realized she wasn’t alone.

Once on the train we did tell the conductor about him. He gave her some advice as to how she could file a complaint, and I believe he said something to the man. I wish we had taken a picture of him, to show the conductor or even the police. There is a police station right behind the train station.

– Megan

Location: Prospect Park, PA

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I think if you see someone being harassed, intervene. You don’t have to yell at the harasser, you can just start a conversation with the person they are bothering. Bullies want an easy target and they rely on other people not stepping in.

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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“I will forever remember that violated feeling this one strangers comment caused”

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I have had street harassment happen to me multiple times, but there is one that stands out the most.

The day was one of those days you just feel as if you are walking on air. I was in a used bookstore browsing among their selections when I noticed a man behind me. I thought, “Oh he must be trying to get to something in that rack so I will go over to another section and browse there until he is done” so I did that.

Yet he followed me over to where I had gone, that in itself was creepy, but then he said, “Excuse me this is probably inappropriate but I just had to tell you, you look really sexy in that outfit”.

For me this was extremely terrifying I was not wearing anything revealing and this one man with his one comment effectively ruined my entire day. I went and got my friend I had came with and immediately left. Later I cried and I will forever remember that violated feeling this one strangers comment caused.

– Anonymous

Location: Virginia

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I think that people need to start seeing this as an issue not just one of those things that happens. I recently found a site called cards against harassment and believe it is a good way to confront your harasser without having to stick around.

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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