Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“If you see someone being harassed, intervene”

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I had just gotten to my local train station, which is in the suburbs of Philadelphia, when I heard this man yelling. He was screaming at a young woman who was smoking. She was young and attractive and he was in his 50’s maybe. She was a good 30 or 40 feet away from everyone else on the platform. The stop is completely outside. I know there are signs prohibiting people from smoking around there. She had removed herself from everyone else so her cigarette use shouldn’t have bothered anyone. This man was pointing his finger, shouting that she was a criminal for smoking, and driving the point home with all sorts of other obscenities.

I was surprised at how angry he was. I was like, “Excuse me sir. You need to back up and leave her alone.” He tried to continue his tirade. I calmly, but firmly said, “Stop. I don’t care about the smoking rule, I care that you are harassing her. You don’t have the right to do that. Now stay away from us.” I sat down next to her.

He went back to the rest of the people waiting for the train. She told me he had followed her around the train stop several other times, doing the same thing. She’d tried to stay in the area where smoking was allowed but she didn’t want to be completely isolated after he harassed her the first time. She said I was the first person to ever say anything to him. He also apparently was with his wife.

He targeted this girl because she was alone, her smoking distanced her from everyone else. He felt like he could insult her and get away with it. If it had truly been about a cigarette, he would have asked politely for her to move farther away, or complained to a conductor once on the train. He was a bully and backed down once he realized she wasn’t alone.

Once on the train we did tell the conductor about him. He gave her some advice as to how she could file a complaint, and I believe he said something to the man. I wish we had taken a picture of him, to show the conductor or even the police. There is a police station right behind the train station.

– Megan

Location: Prospect Park, PA

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I think if you see someone being harassed, intervene. You don’t have to yell at the harasser, you can just start a conversation with the person they are bothering. Bullies want an easy target and they rely on other people not stepping in.

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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“I will forever remember that violated feeling this one strangers comment caused”

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I have had street harassment happen to me multiple times, but there is one that stands out the most.

The day was one of those days you just feel as if you are walking on air. I was in a used bookstore browsing among their selections when I noticed a man behind me. I thought, “Oh he must be trying to get to something in that rack so I will go over to another section and browse there until he is done” so I did that.

Yet he followed me over to where I had gone, that in itself was creepy, but then he said, “Excuse me this is probably inappropriate but I just had to tell you, you look really sexy in that outfit”.

For me this was extremely terrifying I was not wearing anything revealing and this one man with his one comment effectively ruined my entire day. I went and got my friend I had came with and immediately left. Later I cried and I will forever remember that violated feeling this one strangers comment caused.

– Anonymous

Location: Virginia

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I think that people need to start seeing this as an issue not just one of those things that happens. I recently found a site called cards against harassment and believe it is a good way to confront your harasser without having to stick around.

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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Video: “Street Creepin”

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Yes, I love this new music video “Street Creepin‘” by comedy rap group Small Batch Mafia. It’s full of lines like, “Mistake First Amendment rights for the right to be an asshole,” and “I’ve got a dirty ass mind and the world needs to know its contents,” and “When I holla at you, it’s because my life is shitty.”

Thank you guys, we need more men like you speaking out against the ridiculousness (and terribleness) of street harassment!

You can listen to more of their music on their SoundCloud page, and follow them on Twitter and Instagram at @SmallBatchMafia. H/T to Shannon Deep

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A letter to all the men in my life

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To our brothers, our fathers, our boyfriends, our husbands, our stepdads and our uncles. Let me start by saying, you guys are awesome, and you guys are NOT the problem. You guys support me, you love me, you protect me, you allow me to call you at 2 a.m. just to chat. You guys understand me and you love me.

That being said, there is a problem, and until you are a woman you just don’t get it. To anyone who has ever said sexism doesn’t exist anymore, you are dead wrong. To anyone who has ever said women are being overly sensitive, you are wrong. I am sorry to say this but you are wrong.

Let me take you through a typical day of a 20-year-old women. Everyday I wake up, take a shower, put on makeup, do my hair, and than pick out an outfit. I am always careful choosing my outfits depending on where I am going. Usually I leave the house feeling pretty confident. I have always been taught to walk with my head high and facing the world.

If I have to run errands I will call a friend, so I am not stuck doing them alone, and us women are always told “travel in pairs it is safer.” Women are taught from a very young age ways to avoid being hit on, harassed, and even raped. So I walk out of my apartment to my car down the street, and I keep my headphones in and eyes looking straight forward.

Then it starts. It might start with a honk from a car, a whistle from a construction worker, or “damn baby” from across the street. These advances, while annoying, are easy to ignore. I will drive to pick up a friend and we will go grocery shopping. As we walk around the store we notice a couple of men following us, we just choose to ignore it. Maybe they just needed milk and cereal as well. Then it begins to get scary, so we choose to not get the juice we originally came to the store for, and just leave as quickly as possible. The men follow us into line and say “cooking tonight ladies?” and we just shoot them a confused glance and mutter a quick “no”.

We decide to walk to my car and as we are walking another man approaches us and says, “Damn baby you are hot.” Red faces ensure and we ignore him and scuttle along. I drop off my friend and she says a quick goodbye, I then wait to make sure she gets in safely.

Next I get my morning cup of coffee and call my dad. As I am on the phone with my dad another man approaches me, because I had given him a polite smile, and says, “Wow I see you smiling what you smiling for.” I quickly inform him that I am on the phone and cannot chat, as I do this, he sits down in the chair across from me and just stares. I have decided that I have had enough for today so I roll my eyes and leave the coffee shop. I get back to my apartment a little shook up from the days event and call my friend. “But what were you wearing?” she asks. “Why were you in that area?” my father questions. “Stay inside, gorgeous,” my mother jokes, and “it’s just a compliment.” My brother explains, “She was asking for it.” Society explains, “She craves the attention.”

Women are told “you deserve it.” It is this kind of thinking that is dangerous. It is damaging because it starts the line of victim blaming. Not once was I told, wow I am so sorry that happened to you, what can I do to make you feel safer.

Women have to deal with this harassment all day long and that is why eventually they freak out, maybe on a nice guy who is simply asking if they need help with their groceries. It is why women seem unfriendly and cold, because by simply smiling at a stranger, that sends the message that it is ok to approach me, and it is ok to not leave me alone when asked.

Well let me tell this to everyone, it is not ok, and it is not my fault.

– AK

Location: Tallahassee

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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“I should not have to imagine the consequences”

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I was walking towards my friend’s home, it was around 6 p.m. on February 14th, Valentine’s Day.  I was visiting the guy I had a crush on. I was wearing a short skirt, black tights, a perfecto and high-heels boots. I was feeling gorgeous and sexy.

Then, as I passed a basketball field located in one of the main streets of my town, a guy came out and started following me. I didn’t pay much attention, I pretended to be on my phone and just hoped he would go away. But he did not. He went walking next to me and told me I was pretty. I mumbled a “thanks”, without looking at him. He then asked me where I was working, calling me “madam”.

I said I was still in high school. That’s when I noticed he was actually a kid. Around 14 years old, not older. He was already ready to harass adult women in the streets. I kept walking, faster. I heard his voice behind me, saying, “Hey – seen the way you’re dressed? That’s a bit hot.”

“The way I dress only concern myself thanks,” I responded, still not looking at him.

I knew he was looking at me from behind. I felt sick. I was only an object for him. “You got a fat ass.”

“You know that’s not something people actually want to hear in the streets.”

I hid my shaking hands in my jacket and made my voice as firm as possible. I felt ashamed. But then every feminist article about street harassment and slut-shaming I read, every advice, every testimony came back to my mind and I began to feel angry.

I was repeating to myself that I had nothing to feel except anger, and that he was the one at fault. I turned left to the street where lives my friend. He had been following me for 5 minutes now. “I have a boner.” That was too much. I turned around, faced him and looked at him straight in the eyes. “Shut the fu** up.”

My voice trembled with both fear and fury. “Why?”

“Go away.”

My heart was pounding in my chest, I was ready to punch him if he ever tried to touch me. As he didn’t move, I took a step towards him. I was threatening, the adrenaline overflowed me and I was so ready to kick his ass for the past minutes he made me live. And then, as he saw my determination, just as I took a step, he ran away. He ran, scared, a little coward.

I turned around and walked as fast as I could to my friend’s. I was scared he might come back. When my friend opened the door, I was shaking. I told him, half-smiling and laughing nervously, trying to catch my breath, mixing words together: “Oh my god, I-I’ve just been harassed”.

His answer was the cherry on top: “Is it good or bad?”

I’m 17, and I should not fear to go out in my town because of coward dumb 14 years old. I’m 17 and I should not have to imagine the consequences if that guy had been 30 years old. I’m 17 and I should not feel grateful that I knew how to react only because one day I discovered what feminism was on the Internet, and got informed on street harassment and slut-shaming thanks to websites. I’m 17 and no one should ask me if it’s “good or bad” when I tell them that I’ve just been harassed. That is one of the many reasons why we need feminism.

– Leah

Location: NYC

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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