Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

ʺDon’t get me confused, bitch!ʺ

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I was walking to the store when a black pick-up truck rolls by and matches speed with me. The driver’s side window was open and the man inside said, ʺHey baby.ʺ

I kept walking. He asked, ʺYou ok?ʺ I looked over at him and he gave me a thumbs up. ʺYou want a ride?ʺ I shook my head. I get this all the time, every time I walk to the store. I consider it a good day if I make it there and back (about 2 blocks) without getting hassled. Normally they just keep rolling by after getting a flat look and a shake of the head. But not this guy.

ʺDon’t get me confused, bitch!ʺ He yelled at me. ʺYou f***ing bitch, f***ing slut.ʺ He’s screamed this at me. I got scared, but I was kinda just shocked, and I got off the sidewalk and tried to use the bushes and trees as cover. He drove on, albeit slowly, and gave me this death stare as he turned the corner.

I kept walking but when I got to the intersection, I saw he had parked his truck in front of the store I was going into. There’s two little competing convenience stores, one on each corner – I went to the other one of course. I kept thinking to myself – like he thought he was doing me a favor by harassing me, like I should be flattered somehow, the pig. Yet as angry as I was getting, after the initial fear waned, I still dawdled in the store and kept checking the parking lot through the windows.

On the way back home, I took the inside path near the trees and I saw him creep by. I managed to make it into my complex without him seeing me because he had driven on; he was holding up traffic.

– “Going to the Store”

Location: Gretna, LA

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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“The people who support it with their silence must be just as responsible”

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I’ve just shared my story to all my friends and family on Facebook. It was daunting, but worth it. Please take a look.

Some background information: I am a 24-year-old woman who spent a year living in Madrid, Spain, which is where I experienced the worst street harassment in my life. (Not that it matters, but I dressed conservatively for work every day and I stood out as a foreigner where I lived.)

I previously lived in Thailand for two years and did not experience street harassment on such an extreme level. I grew up in South Africa, where sexual violence and rape are more common for girls than getting an education. But the times that I was publicly harassed, bullied or followed as a girl and then teenager, other people stood up for me. They sometimes even physically stepped in, which I am more grateful for now more than ever.

During my entire time in Spain, no one said a word, not once, not even when I was followed by two teenage males on my way to a lesson, or when a man sat making faces at me on the bus, or when someone purposefully blocked my path on a busy pavement. I find that shameful.

My biggest issue with street harassment is not that people do it, but that other people tolerate it and we as a society allow it. If the characters of these men who harass women are so weak, then the people who support it with their silence must be just as responsible.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

-Individual activism like putting up notes, handing out flyers, etc.
-Joining and supporting communities like Stop Street Harassment or Stop Telling Women to Smile and telling others about movements like these, online or in person
-Spreading awareness and sharing stories with your family and friends in the hopes of changing people’s attitudes or comforting fellow victims
-Standing up for others and speaking out when you witness street harassment in any form

– Adrian Fleur

Location: Madrid, Spain

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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“Stand up against the harasser with words”

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Every morning for the last week as I’ve gone to class this guy has stood outside this drive thru burger place and made comments and disgusting noises whenever I walk by. Normally I’ve been able to dismiss it because I am not letting him decide what street I should take to get to school.

Today after class I saw him on my way home and I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I walked by while he was talking to a guy about another girl that passed by. He then said, “Ooh but I like this oneʺ and proceeded to touch my arm. Him being comfortable touching strange women is way out of line.

I immediately said loudly, ʺDon’t touch meʺ. He acted annoyed and put his arms up as if he didn’t know what I was angry about so I added, ʺGet the fk away from me.ʺ I heard him walking behind me but luckily another guy that was walking behind me started to walk next to me. He asked me if I wanted him to walk next to me for a couple blocks and I did.

The harasser made me incredibly angry. I was so angry, that tears started to fall down my face. I immediately thought of the next days to come and if I would get into trouble macing him because I’m sure I’ll see him again and he doesn’t seem like the type to stop all of a sudden. I’m angry and scared at the same time. But I’m also stubborn. So I’ll be walking with my mace in my hand in my pocket for a very long time.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Educate that catcalling is harassment and should not be done, nor tolerated. If you see someone being harassed, make sure the victim is OK (like this nice stranger did for me). Stand up against the harasser with words. Never violence.

– Anonymous

Location: In front of Dick’s on Broadway, Capitol Hill, Seattle and in front of Rite Aid, Capitol Hill, Seattle, WA

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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USA: Andrea Gibson’s Powerful Poem That’s Meant to Be Used

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Via www.tayloryo.com

Michelle Marie Ryder, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

In the United States, 65% of women have been harassed in public. Each wolf-whistle, obscene gesture and violating touch has the power to transform our world. For many of us it’s hard to forget the first time we were harassed, as evidenced by a recent popular hashtag #FirstHarassed.

No matter how confident we might start the day, we struggle to keep an ocean of fear at bay the moment we step outdoors. Everyday we navigate a sea of uncertainty that limits our mobility and sense of safety. Short of a cure, we find ways to cope.

Personally, I never leave the house without putting on my best Wednesday Addams resting bitchface. I evade eye contact with strangers to avoid being perceived as flirty; my gaze is restricted, my interaction with the social world strained and limited, some of its richness lost.

When I feel safe enough I speak up, tempted by the peace of mind assured by an effective counterattack. The first time I did I shouted a simple, liberating FUCK YOU! – drawing in a deep breath of air between the two words for extra effect. That was really all it took to shut up a clot of men (who hang out in groups of five because they each have one fifth of a personality, jokes comedian Eddie Izzard, who is frequently harassed in public for cross-dressing). At the time I had been walking alone, but thankfully had the anonymity of a crowd to slip into for protection.

But there are times when our friends, family members or lovers are with us, putting them in the awkward position of wanting to defend us but also being well aware of the threat of violence, of how easily catcalls can escalate into something more serious. So they, too, often feel compelled to suppress their anger and frustration.

Renowned slam poet Andrea Gibson speaks to these feelings of powerlessness with high-octane eloquence in her poem “To The Men Catcalling My Girlfriend as I’m Walking Beside Her.” Co-performed with Katie Wirsing, Gibson addresses the subject of the poem, the street harasser, directly, making this quite possibly the finest the-reason-you-suck-speech to ever grace the earth.

Gibson says this is the first poem she’s ever written that’s meant to be “used in the real world.” Carried like a weapon in our consciousness is what I imagine she meant by that. Carried like “Wolverine keys” girded for battle between clenched fists, “because what men fear most about going to prison is what women fear most about walking down the sidewalk,” proclaims a popular #YesAllWomen tweet.

Whether we’re carrying mace, a rape whistle, switchblade or scythe (I’ve considered them all), these weapons, like Gibson’s dagger-sharp wordplay, are symbols of the violence women face daily. They evoke with forceful lucidity our second-class citizenship. There is significant risk in defying this system, in defying the will of the harasser, even for those who might try to intervene on our behalf.

A 31 year old San Franciscan man, Ben Schwartz, was savagely attacked in 2014 when he asked a catcaller to stop making lewd comments to his girlfriend. He was stabbed nine times, the knife narrowly missing his major arteries and spinal cord. Michael Tingling, a Chicago father, wasn’t so lucky. He was killed shielding his 15 year old daughter from sexually degrading treatment on the street after picking her up from school.

Street harassment is not flattering, it is frightening. It is a barrier to true equality and a denial of liberties, writes Holly Kearl, founder of Stop Street Harassment. But the good news is there’s a lot we can do to fight back, to stop from sinking in the ocean of fear that greets us daily. From speaking up to taking to the streets to pressing for policy change, the fight is only just beginning.

Michelle is a freelance writer and community activist. She has written for Infita7.com, Bluestockings Magazine, and The New Verse News on a range of social justice issues, and shares her poetry regularly at poetrywho.blogspot.com.

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