Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“Stand up against the harasser with words”

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Every morning for the last week as I’ve gone to class this guy has stood outside this drive thru burger place and made comments and disgusting noises whenever I walk by. Normally I’ve been able to dismiss it because I am not letting him decide what street I should take to get to school.

Today after class I saw him on my way home and I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I walked by while he was talking to a guy about another girl that passed by. He then said, “Ooh but I like this oneʺ and proceeded to touch my arm. Him being comfortable touching strange women is way out of line.

I immediately said loudly, ʺDon’t touch meʺ. He acted annoyed and put his arms up as if he didn’t know what I was angry about so I added, ʺGet the fk away from me.ʺ I heard him walking behind me but luckily another guy that was walking behind me started to walk next to me. He asked me if I wanted him to walk next to me for a couple blocks and I did.

The harasser made me incredibly angry. I was so angry, that tears started to fall down my face. I immediately thought of the next days to come and if I would get into trouble macing him because I’m sure I’ll see him again and he doesn’t seem like the type to stop all of a sudden. I’m angry and scared at the same time. But I’m also stubborn. So I’ll be walking with my mace in my hand in my pocket for a very long time.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Educate that catcalling is harassment and should not be done, nor tolerated. If you see someone being harassed, make sure the victim is OK (like this nice stranger did for me). Stand up against the harasser with words. Never violence.

– Anonymous

Location: In front of Dick’s on Broadway, Capitol Hill, Seattle and in front of Rite Aid, Capitol Hill, Seattle, WA

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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USA: Andrea Gibson’s Powerful Poem That’s Meant to Be Used

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Via www.tayloryo.com

Michelle Marie Ryder, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

In the United States, 65% of women have been harassed in public. Each wolf-whistle, obscene gesture and violating touch has the power to transform our world. For many of us it’s hard to forget the first time we were harassed, as evidenced by a recent popular hashtag #FirstHarassed.

No matter how confident we might start the day, we struggle to keep an ocean of fear at bay the moment we step outdoors. Everyday we navigate a sea of uncertainty that limits our mobility and sense of safety. Short of a cure, we find ways to cope.

Personally, I never leave the house without putting on my best Wednesday Addams resting bitchface. I evade eye contact with strangers to avoid being perceived as flirty; my gaze is restricted, my interaction with the social world strained and limited, some of its richness lost.

When I feel safe enough I speak up, tempted by the peace of mind assured by an effective counterattack. The first time I did I shouted a simple, liberating FUCK YOU! – drawing in a deep breath of air between the two words for extra effect. That was really all it took to shut up a clot of men (who hang out in groups of five because they each have one fifth of a personality, jokes comedian Eddie Izzard, who is frequently harassed in public for cross-dressing). At the time I had been walking alone, but thankfully had the anonymity of a crowd to slip into for protection.

But there are times when our friends, family members or lovers are with us, putting them in the awkward position of wanting to defend us but also being well aware of the threat of violence, of how easily catcalls can escalate into something more serious. So they, too, often feel compelled to suppress their anger and frustration.

Renowned slam poet Andrea Gibson speaks to these feelings of powerlessness with high-octane eloquence in her poem “To The Men Catcalling My Girlfriend as I’m Walking Beside Her.” Co-performed with Katie Wirsing, Gibson addresses the subject of the poem, the street harasser, directly, making this quite possibly the finest the-reason-you-suck-speech to ever grace the earth.

Gibson says this is the first poem she’s ever written that’s meant to be “used in the real world.” Carried like a weapon in our consciousness is what I imagine she meant by that. Carried like “Wolverine keys” girded for battle between clenched fists, “because what men fear most about going to prison is what women fear most about walking down the sidewalk,” proclaims a popular #YesAllWomen tweet.

Whether we’re carrying mace, a rape whistle, switchblade or scythe (I’ve considered them all), these weapons, like Gibson’s dagger-sharp wordplay, are symbols of the violence women face daily. They evoke with forceful lucidity our second-class citizenship. There is significant risk in defying this system, in defying the will of the harasser, even for those who might try to intervene on our behalf.

A 31 year old San Franciscan man, Ben Schwartz, was savagely attacked in 2014 when he asked a catcaller to stop making lewd comments to his girlfriend. He was stabbed nine times, the knife narrowly missing his major arteries and spinal cord. Michael Tingling, a Chicago father, wasn’t so lucky. He was killed shielding his 15 year old daughter from sexually degrading treatment on the street after picking her up from school.

Street harassment is not flattering, it is frightening. It is a barrier to true equality and a denial of liberties, writes Holly Kearl, founder of Stop Street Harassment. But the good news is there’s a lot we can do to fight back, to stop from sinking in the ocean of fear that greets us daily. From speaking up to taking to the streets to pressing for policy change, the fight is only just beginning.

Michelle is a freelance writer and community activist. She has written for Infita7.com, Bluestockings Magazine, and The New Verse News on a range of social justice issues, and shares her poetry regularly at poetrywho.blogspot.com.

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“I was so humiliated”

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Hi!
I just want to share my street harassment story. It was the end of my shift, exactly 5:30 when I arrived at the terminal. It was a Friday so I was already expecting that lots of people would be dying to ride a bus, since we have limited buses only. There is one baby bus but if it’s already full, it is your choice if you wanna ride- but standing, or you’ll fall in line and wait for the next one.

Since I was very eager and excited to go home, I just chose to stand up and ride that bus. I was in the middle of the aisle when the driver and the bus ticket collector advised me to go near the driver’s seat because many people would be standing and I might be uncomfortable if many men would surround me. Thinking that it was an act of concern, I went near the driver’s seat and stood up there. Suddenly, I heard the ticket collector talking to a man, looking at me. And then he said, ʺAsawa ho ng dirver yang nakatayo/ The woman standing is the driver’s wife,ʺ I was so humiliated because everybody looked at me. The driver is almost 50 years old, and I’m just 20. I looked at the ticket collector with a dim face, trying to compose myself. He looked at me, shaking his head and smiling. I took my phone, I acted like I was calling my boyfriend, just to somehow let them know that I’d be calling someone. He backed off. And then I talked to them ʺKuya, mahiya po kayo sa balat nyo.ʺ And then bumaba na ako. I felt so humiliated.

– Anonymous

Location: Coastal Mall/ Bus Terminal, Philippines

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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“I felt pretty anxious for the rest of the day”

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The other day I went to go get something to eat with my friends after class and after we finished we started walking back to my friend’s house. They both bike to and from school so they were together about 50 yards ahead of me. We took a shortcut through the park and my friends decided to go ahead of me a little bit (about 200 yards). I saw them bike past a group of about 7 or 8 guys from my school who were sitting on both sides of the path. I didn’t want to make it obvious that I wanted to avoid walking past them alone (not a great decision) so I just walked right between them. This one guy had a mouthful of water and ʺpukedʺ all over the path and my leg and his friend was laughing and patting him on the back. I continued to walk and one guy called ʺthat booty tho’!ʺ to me and they all just started cracking up.

Personally, this was my first catcalling experience and I’m honestly very surprised about how calmly I reacted. I just kept a straight face and walked away and did not react. I didn’t want to give them any ammunition to use against me. I’m still slightly shaken up from it even though I know this is much less worse than what some other people experience regularly, but I know I’m not the one to blame and I keep telling myself that. I just really hope this never happens again because I get very easily scared and I felt pretty anxious for the rest of the day. I considered momentarily to change the way I dress to protect myself but I immediately realized I shouldn’t have to change my personality or the way I express myself to feel safe in a situation like this.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Always stick with a friend that can help you in an uncomfortable position or go to someone trustworthy who can help you and discourage young people from catcalling.

– Anonymous

Location: Berkeley, CA

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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