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“If having self-respect makes me a bitch, then hell yes I am”

May 3, 2015 By Contributor

My own neighbor harassed me at the beginning of my run today. He felt entitled to yell to me how I looked, like I was in good shape. So for the next hour I hypothesized all of the different responses I wish I’d given him. My favorite being me telling him to stfu, stop objectifying me, and then when he called me a bitch for that, me telling him that if having self-respect makes me a bitch, then hell yes I am.

There was also one that involved me running with a tranquilizer gun, but I figured I’d probably end up shooting myself in the leg, so I let that one go. Made for a good laugh. F*** him though. #everytimeirun #stopstreetharassment

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

By being a stronger, more close-knit community. If we were more in touch with each other, I’d hope that we’d have more respect for one another.

– Dani

Location: Columbus, OH

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“Have you ever felt the panic of a car full of men reversing towards you?”

May 2, 2015 By Contributor

I was leaving a screening of “Out in the Night,” which is amazing and everyone should see it. We were even lucky to have the women on a panel for a Q&A. I was so moved.

As I was leaving and waiting on the corner for my ride a car full of boys pulled up and called me ʺbeautifulʺ etc etc (everyone on SSH can imagine what they said). For context, I am a teacher at this university and they could have easily been my students. I let them know I wasn’t interested and told them to go on their way. They did, briefly, then they stopped their car and went in reverse to return and harass me. Have you ever felt the panic of a car full of men reversing towards you? It wasn’t the first time for me but that doesn’t mean it isn’t terrifying.

This time I played along by asking if they were students. They said they were so I said ʺOk great. I’m a teacher here and I’ll be sure to remember your face. I’m sure I’ll grade your paper someday.ʺ They weren’t impressed. Called me an ugly cunt, bitch, etc. Drove away.

They circled back a third time and I hid. I hid because they were escalating and I didn’t know what they were going to do. I had just been inspired by “Out in the Night.” Maybe I would have hurt them.

I kinda wish I did.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Defend self defense. Street harassment is a promise of physical violence (sometimes literally, sometimes implied). We need a protected right to defend ourselves physically.

– Whitney

Location: Campus

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

USA: YouTube Trolling and Street Harassment

April 30, 2015 By Correspondent

Dylan Jane Manderlink, Arkansas, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

Via Mother Jones

I recently watched a few anti-street harassment videos made by nonprofit organizations and I was so elated and proud to see the anti-street harassment movement get traction and attention. But then I read the comments below and my mood drastically changed.

I could write a rant on every single misogynistic comment I saw and feel better about getting it off my chest. But I’m not sure how much good that would actually do at the end of the day. I don’t think there will ever be a feminist article or blog post to end all misogyny and hateful trolling, but I am tired of waiting for my turn to speak and I am getting impatient with feeling punished for my feminism. Above all, the anti-feminist and misogynistic discourse is precisely why we need feminism in the first place.

Online misogynistic trolling is a form of harassment and violence – just like street harassment. The two serve to promote a harmful and pejorative notion that women are fundamentally subordinate, invalid, incapable and solely exist to be ineffective and powerless. So when I was scrolling through the deluge of vulgar and demeaning comments on YouTube, one troll particularly fired me up by saying “People are free to hit on you” in response to a video about catcalling. Of course all of the trolling and misogynistic comments were derogatory and slandering, but this comment just represented the distance that exists in society from shared humanity.

This comment wasn’t even a disguised attempt at male supremacy, misogyny, and self-satisfaction – it was brazenly there for all to see with every lack of care, decency, and respect as possible. Allowing men to have a “free pass” at hitting on and catcalling us is a denial and complete neglect of  my rights and personhood. No one is free to hit on me. I should be free to walk through a public space without falling victim to harassment, unwanted comments and glares, public sexualization, and unsafe circumstances.

With this being my last post through the Blog Correspondent’s Program, I’ve been searching for a particular aspect of social activism and advocacy surrounding street harassment to write passionately about. I’m certainly passionate about ending and raising awareness of street harassment but I think what I’m most fired up about right now is in reaction to the dejection I often feel when advocacy efforts are severely ridiculed, trivialized, and damaged by online trolls.

I know activists and advocates often recommend not reading the comments posted by trolls on feminist articles, videos, and social media but it’s difficult to ignore the blatant disregard for an important fight against the mistreatment, inequality, and marginalization of others. The misogynistic online trolling I’ve seen on YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter has not only made me feel stunningly uncomfortable and uneasy, but it has showed me how comfortable people are with defaming, dehumanizing, and attacking others. Although reading the comments posted on feminist and female activist videos and articles upsets and offends me, it’s also what motivates me to keep fighting this fight. And if the trolls want me to give up and throw in the towel, they couldn’t be more wrong. If anything, the anti-feminist trolling has given me more ardor in my commitment and involvement in women’s rights, feminism, and social activism.

I want this post to not just serve as a strong grievance and indignation with misogyny and trolling against feminism and anti-street harassment activism. I want to put this hateful act of misogynistic trolling on display so that it’s no longer thinly disguised and permissible. It’s harrowing to admit how normalized anti-feminist online trolling has become and I want to call attention to how much of an anomaly it should be (or how non-existent it should be).

Don’t get me wrong, I think free speech is a basic right we all deserve and should be entitled to, however, when this form of free speech serves the sole purpose of “putting women back in their place”, making women feel even more unsafe and inferior, objectifying women through abhorrent commentary, and invalidating women’s existence in society, then I cannot and will not support it. I will no longer stand for an online narrative that is incredibly short-sighted, unjustified, offensive, and inglorious. As advocates and activists, I understand that the idea of changing this narrative and pushing back on the trolls is a lot easier said than done. Not only can responding to the trolling make women feel unsafe (because people who speak up against trolls are often threatened), but sometimes it can seem like a lost battle because it doesn’t end. I’m not fully recommending we respond to every anti-feminist and misogynistic trolling instance, but I am certainly fired up to out them and put their inflammatory and insolent behavior on display.

So that’s what my last post is about. I will no longer allow women to fall victim to a false belief system and disempowering narrative due to the pervasiveness and poisonous impact of online trolling and public misogyny. Although standing up to the trolls or raising public awareness of the harms of trolling are difficult and disheartening, if you are creating change you believe in, then don’t feel discouraged.

For anyone looking to improve the quality of social media and virtual spaces for women, let’s start now. Who’s with me?

Dylan is a recent graduate of Emerson College and currently teaches 8th, 10th, and 11th grade Digital Communications and Audio/Visual Technology in an Arkansas high school. You can visit her personal blog and follow her on Twitter @DylanManderlink.

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Filed Under: correspondents, online harassment, street harassment

“Then made lewd comments about my body”

April 30, 2015 By Contributor

Walking dog on street near my house. Came in to contact with three older men. One said I can tell your dog isn’t friendly but you look sweet. Told them not to come any closer that the dog will bite (he wouldn’t have). They stopped approaching me but then made lewd comments about my body. example: ʺdat ass tho.”

– Anonymous

Location: Louisville, KY

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“If we want to change then we can”

April 29, 2015 By Contributor

I was born and raised in a society that we can call a “Mannish Society.” In Afghanistan in families and even in every part of our society, it is the man who speaks and decides to do as he wishes. The last words are being said by men not women. Afghanistan society is a male dominant society.

In such environment it is really really hard for women and girls to live normally. Among the numerous problems that females are confronting in Afghanistan, street harassment is more usual and steady steady and somehow it is being changed to a culture.

Why am I saying that street harassment is changing to a culture here in Afghanistan?

Because, majority of Afghans are illiterate and they believe and accept whatever the Mullas (some) say to them in Mosques. Mullahs allow men to engage in street harassment in some cases. Especially when a female walks in the streets with so-called inappropriate clothes, then according to their ideology men are allowed to say bad words to them and even physically harass or rape them. Why is doing this not a bad act? People and Mullahs would say because these girls or women are not practicing Islam and not wearing Hijab. This is the fact of our society!

When I was studying English, my classmate Maryam was very intelligent and beautiful. Because she was raised in Iran her clothes and style was a little different form other Afghan girls. I witnessed that many boys harassed her with bad words daily and some of them were my friends. All she could do was to remain silent because she did not want to make this issue bigger. But day by day this problem got serious and she lost her patience. She started arguing with those boys that were harassing her but she was alone, she failed. She left the class forever.

It hurt me a lot to see her in such condition. I tried many times to talk with my friends and stop them from harassing her but since I was younger than those boys, no one cared. I talked with our teacher to help me stop these acts, but he was not eager to help me as well.

After that incident whenever I see people harassing girls or women in streets and university I go to them and talk reasonably with them to stop them and explain to them that their act is wrong. I ask what if it happens to their sister or mother, what then?

Now it is the time for everyone to start vanishing this bad and shameful culture. Yes, if we want to change then we can. We can start it right now! As Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change that you want to see in the world.” By using social media, TV and radio spots, adding the topic of not harassing females to school books and explaining the negative impacts of street harassment, we can bring changes.

– Shafi Bajauri

Location: Kabul, Afghanistan

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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