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“I’m moving immediately”

May 4, 2015 By Contributor

I’m moving immediately. I’ve lived all over the world and I’ve never encountered the type of men that are in Alabama. They’re vile, evil like vermin. They follow you around stores until you leave, sometimes even with groups of their friends. Can you imagine 6 guys following you around snickering, gawking, muttering rudest things they can think of just to see your reaction and mocking your attempts to make them leave.

I’ve had people follow me into parking lots , physically scrunching to peek into my car window, I’ve waited in long lines having to endure they’re commentary about me on how my face looks, how my boobs look , how fat I am, and I’ve even dealt with people taking my picture without my permission.

So I’m done. I’m moving. I am human and there is only so much I can take. I dealt with this for 3 years and I’m done, these men truly disgust me . They’ve been degrading my self worth and my sanity for a while now. I’m clinically depressed, agoraphobic, and have terrible anxiety issues and now I’m just… done. It’s tiring frustrating, and I don’t want to do it anymore so I’m moving to somewhere that I can live my life in peace.

*********************
& yes I know it’s not every man in Alabama

– Anonymous

Location: Huntsville, AL

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

Kenya: Is public transport a nightmare for you?

May 4, 2015 By Correspondent

Linnet Nyawira Mwangi, Kisumu, Kenya, SSH Blog Correspondent

Via Travel Blog

There have not been any cases of street harassment in Kenya in the media since last year. I would like to say we are heading in the right direction, men are learning to respect our women, but that is not really the case. There are quite a few isolated cases that you will experience as you transverse the country even as you shift from the urban areas to the rural areas.

Last week I traveled to Nairobi (Kenya’s capital city) and I had two bags with me since I had just left school for holiday. On arrival I had to wait for my friend to pick me up so I moved to a less crowded spot at the station. A lady walked past me obviously in a hurry by the strides she was making and as she tried to make her way out of the station, a man asked her where she was going and grabbed her hand. This is one behavior that is rampant in this place where you just alight from a vehicle and the conductors are all around you asking you where you are going and some will even seize your luggage in attempt to get you in their vehicle. For me it is always a nightmare if I have to travel with too much luggage.

Back to the lady, she started shouting angrily at the man and this brought the attention of the people around her as some moved towards the scene. I could not move any closer because I risked losing my belongings if left untended but I could hear the people as they all aired their opinions. A man appeared from the ticketing office and the conductors and the other men responsible to ensure the vehicles are fully packed tried to find their way out but the man called them back and everybody else fell silent.

When the man found his way to the lady, he introduced himself as the manager of the Sacco (company) and asked her to explain what had transpired and she told him how the man had followed her insisting she get in the vehicle and even grabbed her hand when she said she was going somewhere else. The conductor on the other hand said the lady had insulted him. An old woman from the crowd raised her voice and said that it was untrue because the conductor was the one who had insulted the lady and other voices agreed with her.

The lady told the manager that such behavior was unacceptable since everybody knew where they were going and if they did not they would ask for help and she told him she was going to sue the Sacco and the people around nodded in agreement. They would be glad to support her because harassing passengers was unacceptable some even started saying that they had lost their goods in that manner. The manager asked the conductor to apologize, which he did and then asked the lady to accept the apology and promised everyone around that the situation would not be repeated. He then asked the conductor to follow him and everybody watched, with some suggesting that he should be fired. I did not exactly wish that he was fired but if that would teach others a lesson or two…

Linnet is a student at Maseno University in Kisumu, Kenya pursuing a bachelor’s degree in sociology with IT. Follow her on Twitter @Shantel_lyn and Facebook @lynnette Shantellah.

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Filed Under: correspondents, street harassment

“If having self-respect makes me a bitch, then hell yes I am”

May 3, 2015 By Contributor

My own neighbor harassed me at the beginning of my run today. He felt entitled to yell to me how I looked, like I was in good shape. So for the next hour I hypothesized all of the different responses I wish I’d given him. My favorite being me telling him to stfu, stop objectifying me, and then when he called me a bitch for that, me telling him that if having self-respect makes me a bitch, then hell yes I am.

There was also one that involved me running with a tranquilizer gun, but I figured I’d probably end up shooting myself in the leg, so I let that one go. Made for a good laugh. F*** him though. #everytimeirun #stopstreetharassment

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

By being a stronger, more close-knit community. If we were more in touch with each other, I’d hope that we’d have more respect for one another.

– Dani

Location: Columbus, OH

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“Have you ever felt the panic of a car full of men reversing towards you?”

May 2, 2015 By Contributor

I was leaving a screening of “Out in the Night,” which is amazing and everyone should see it. We were even lucky to have the women on a panel for a Q&A. I was so moved.

As I was leaving and waiting on the corner for my ride a car full of boys pulled up and called me ʺbeautifulʺ etc etc (everyone on SSH can imagine what they said). For context, I am a teacher at this university and they could have easily been my students. I let them know I wasn’t interested and told them to go on their way. They did, briefly, then they stopped their car and went in reverse to return and harass me. Have you ever felt the panic of a car full of men reversing towards you? It wasn’t the first time for me but that doesn’t mean it isn’t terrifying.

This time I played along by asking if they were students. They said they were so I said ʺOk great. I’m a teacher here and I’ll be sure to remember your face. I’m sure I’ll grade your paper someday.ʺ They weren’t impressed. Called me an ugly cunt, bitch, etc. Drove away.

They circled back a third time and I hid. I hid because they were escalating and I didn’t know what they were going to do. I had just been inspired by “Out in the Night.” Maybe I would have hurt them.

I kinda wish I did.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Defend self defense. Street harassment is a promise of physical violence (sometimes literally, sometimes implied). We need a protected right to defend ourselves physically.

– Whitney

Location: Campus

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

USA: YouTube Trolling and Street Harassment

April 30, 2015 By Correspondent

Dylan Jane Manderlink, Arkansas, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

Via Mother Jones

I recently watched a few anti-street harassment videos made by nonprofit organizations and I was so elated and proud to see the anti-street harassment movement get traction and attention. But then I read the comments below and my mood drastically changed.

I could write a rant on every single misogynistic comment I saw and feel better about getting it off my chest. But I’m not sure how much good that would actually do at the end of the day. I don’t think there will ever be a feminist article or blog post to end all misogyny and hateful trolling, but I am tired of waiting for my turn to speak and I am getting impatient with feeling punished for my feminism. Above all, the anti-feminist and misogynistic discourse is precisely why we need feminism in the first place.

Online misogynistic trolling is a form of harassment and violence – just like street harassment. The two serve to promote a harmful and pejorative notion that women are fundamentally subordinate, invalid, incapable and solely exist to be ineffective and powerless. So when I was scrolling through the deluge of vulgar and demeaning comments on YouTube, one troll particularly fired me up by saying “People are free to hit on you” in response to a video about catcalling. Of course all of the trolling and misogynistic comments were derogatory and slandering, but this comment just represented the distance that exists in society from shared humanity.

This comment wasn’t even a disguised attempt at male supremacy, misogyny, and self-satisfaction – it was brazenly there for all to see with every lack of care, decency, and respect as possible. Allowing men to have a “free pass” at hitting on and catcalling us is a denial and complete neglect of  my rights and personhood. No one is free to hit on me. I should be free to walk through a public space without falling victim to harassment, unwanted comments and glares, public sexualization, and unsafe circumstances.

With this being my last post through the Blog Correspondent’s Program, I’ve been searching for a particular aspect of social activism and advocacy surrounding street harassment to write passionately about. I’m certainly passionate about ending and raising awareness of street harassment but I think what I’m most fired up about right now is in reaction to the dejection I often feel when advocacy efforts are severely ridiculed, trivialized, and damaged by online trolls.

I know activists and advocates often recommend not reading the comments posted by trolls on feminist articles, videos, and social media but it’s difficult to ignore the blatant disregard for an important fight against the mistreatment, inequality, and marginalization of others. The misogynistic online trolling I’ve seen on YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter has not only made me feel stunningly uncomfortable and uneasy, but it has showed me how comfortable people are with defaming, dehumanizing, and attacking others. Although reading the comments posted on feminist and female activist videos and articles upsets and offends me, it’s also what motivates me to keep fighting this fight. And if the trolls want me to give up and throw in the towel, they couldn’t be more wrong. If anything, the anti-feminist trolling has given me more ardor in my commitment and involvement in women’s rights, feminism, and social activism.

I want this post to not just serve as a strong grievance and indignation with misogyny and trolling against feminism and anti-street harassment activism. I want to put this hateful act of misogynistic trolling on display so that it’s no longer thinly disguised and permissible. It’s harrowing to admit how normalized anti-feminist online trolling has become and I want to call attention to how much of an anomaly it should be (or how non-existent it should be).

Don’t get me wrong, I think free speech is a basic right we all deserve and should be entitled to, however, when this form of free speech serves the sole purpose of “putting women back in their place”, making women feel even more unsafe and inferior, objectifying women through abhorrent commentary, and invalidating women’s existence in society, then I cannot and will not support it. I will no longer stand for an online narrative that is incredibly short-sighted, unjustified, offensive, and inglorious. As advocates and activists, I understand that the idea of changing this narrative and pushing back on the trolls is a lot easier said than done. Not only can responding to the trolling make women feel unsafe (because people who speak up against trolls are often threatened), but sometimes it can seem like a lost battle because it doesn’t end. I’m not fully recommending we respond to every anti-feminist and misogynistic trolling instance, but I am certainly fired up to out them and put their inflammatory and insolent behavior on display.

So that’s what my last post is about. I will no longer allow women to fall victim to a false belief system and disempowering narrative due to the pervasiveness and poisonous impact of online trolling and public misogyny. Although standing up to the trolls or raising public awareness of the harms of trolling are difficult and disheartening, if you are creating change you believe in, then don’t feel discouraged.

For anyone looking to improve the quality of social media and virtual spaces for women, let’s start now. Who’s with me?

Dylan is a recent graduate of Emerson College and currently teaches 8th, 10th, and 11th grade Digital Communications and Audio/Visual Technology in an Arkansas high school. You can visit her personal blog and follow her on Twitter @DylanManderlink.

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Filed Under: correspondents, online harassment, street harassment

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