Siel Devos, London, England, SSH Blog Correspondent

I spent last year studying Arabic in Amman, Jordan. Overall it was an amazing and unforgettable experience, although there is always one thing I bring up when asked what living in the Middle East is like.

In Amman I was living only two blocks away from an all-boys secondary school. Just like all 12-14 year-old boys, these kids’ favourite after-school activity was spending their pocket money on candy and soda, holding a ‘who is the most macho of all’ contest and hanging around the local park. Unlike all 12-14 year-old boys, harassing girls and women was also part of their daily routine. When boys who have barely outgrown the cartoon-watching phase ask you if you would like some “good sex” and grope you in the middle of the day, you realise something is very wrong.

You could say there is a general lack of respect towards women in the Arab world, and not only foreign women: I’ve talked to Jordanian women who experience harassment on a daily basis. The argument that is still put forward by men to justify harassment in a way – “most women bring it on themselves by the way they are dressed” – doesn’t really apply here. Almost all Jordanian women wear a variety on the headscarf, ranging from a hijab in fashionable colours to the black niqaab that only leaves the eyes uncovered. If this way of dressing is still considered as asking for harassment, what isn’t? Should women just never leave their houses anymore out of fear of getting shouted at or catcalled?

I caught myself postponing errands because I wanted to avoid leaving my apartment around the time school finished. I took a different route to the supermarket because I glimpsed boys hanging around the street I usually go down. I realized I had changed my behaviour because of men – no, boys – and that there was pretty much nothing I could do about it.

Getting harassed on the street always puts you in such a vulnerable position – react and you might get an even worse response, ignore and they just go on to harass the next person to come along. Now imagine getting shouted at in a language that you don’t completely master (although the tone doesn’t leave too much to the imagination) and trying to defend yourself. Because you don’t want to be the white girl who yelled out insults in Arabic (if I knew any) or any other language on the street, the only other option is to let it pass and make them think this is acceptable behaviour?

A recent survey conducted by 4Youth Magazine in Jordan of 3000 youth ages 18-25 found that 53% felt a lack of education about harassment was the main cause of it, while 20% believed Jordanian customs and traditions cause it.

For these teenagers who harassed me, harassment might only be a way to act cool around their friends, but what if they never outgrow this phase? We need to teach children about basic respect towards women in school. With one step at the time, we can try to create a gender-equal society. Inshallah…

Siel is a master’s student in Middle Eastern studies with a major in contemporary Islam at SOAS University in London. Find her on twitter and instagram under @mademoisielle.