Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“Educate men that street harassment really has no point”

By

I was walking home in broad daylight, on the sidewalk, through my very residential neighborhood, and I sensed a car slowing behind me. I kept walking. The man in the car slowed to talk to me and I thought that he might be asking me for directions. I couldn’t understand what he said initially, so I said, “Where are you trying to get to?” And he laughed and said, “No, I asked where you’re going” with a gross look on his face. I responded, “To my house. Alone.”

I started walking and he paused before driving, and I got out my phone with every intention of calling 911 if necessary.

This made me feel gross, like I must have done something to invite his attention, and a little concerned for my safety, as I was actually near my house and I was worried that he would see which driveway I turned into. I immediately texted my husband to tell him how awful I felt.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Educate men that street harassment really has no point–it’s offensive, it makes women feel like trash, it leads to safety issues, and (if they only care about themselves) it will not lead to a productive conversation or “hook up” with a woman.

– KL

Location: Indianapolis, IN

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

Share

International Museum of Women’s Exhibit “Imagining Equality”

By

The International Museum of Women has a new online exhibit, Imagining Equality.

“Violence against women is one of the biggest barriers to gender inequality. But violence is not something men are born to commit, or women are born to be subject to. Violence is a social norm that too many cultures still tolerate or even cultivate. In this just-launched section of Imagining Equality about Violence, we hear from women survivors (and their male allies) around the world who reject victimhood, and instead are bravely confronting and advocating against violence – whether it be in their homes, their communities, or their nations.”

There is a section on #streetharassment.

“What would you say if you had an honest conversation with a street harrasser? Rebecca Audra Smith’s spoken word poem captures everything she’d say to the men who harrass women on the street, from sharing the collective struggle for women’s equality to reminding him of her individual humanity.”

Share

“That’s too bad, you sure you only play with girls?”

By

I was walking to meet my partner one afternoon, and a man was walking behind me for a few minutes.  It seemed like he was trying to catch up to me and finally did, and asked me “Where are you going?”

I said I was going to meet up with my girlfriend, and he replied “a girlfriend girlfriend?? “I said “Yes” and he said, “That’s too bad, you sure you only play with girls?” I replied “yep” and started walking faster, to which he replied “Good-looking girl like you, you’ve got a nice ass”.

I was in complete shock and all I could muster out was “thanks”.  I couldn’t believe that happened.  After we both changed directions I was in shock and awe still that this complete stranger said this to me.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Raise our children, teach them that it is not acceptable behavior to cat-call or harass people.  The media plays a HUGE role in how men perceive women want to be treated.

– Emerald

Location: Street

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

Share

“Roll with me to the beach”

By

One night I sat in downtown, Honolulu (Hawaii), waiting for my ride. Class had just finished at about 9 P.M., a stranger walks up to me and sits beside me, asks what I’m doing, then stares for awhile after I answer him. It got a bit awkward so I asked him a few questions, attempting small talk, he took awhile to answer my questions, often times asked me to repeat it then answer. As he sat on my right side, I asked his name and where he was from. What he was doing in town at night, holding a fire knife.

He hadn’t answered me, he continued to stare at me, and started jerking his head in a certain direction. I asked if he was okay and he replied, “Roll with me to the beach”. I said politely said, “No thanks, I’m waiting for my ride”. He then asked to move to the other side of me, I told him it was fine, not thinking anything of it.

I tried to talk to him some more but he wasn’t replying much at all. He then asked me once again, what I was doing and proclaimed for me to walk with him to the beach. So I asked, “What for? I told you I’m waiting for my ride”. He then replied, “So we can have sex on the beach and have a good time talking about it on the way”. I was shocked that he’d come directly with such a statement.

I then told him, “No! I don’t know what kind of girl you take me for but you’re mistaken”! I awkwardly stared away from him, then looking down at my bag in silence and noticed he had pulled down his zipper and was holding his appendage in his hand. I looked up and away to my right side fast, and what he was doing and for him to out it away. He told me to look down at it and I refused. I was very scared, not knowing what would happen next if I tried to run away, being that there was no one around. I ignored him for the next few minutes while he asked questions and then my ride pulled up. I haven’t spoken about it to anyone ’til now.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Making anywhere a safer place seems almost impossible because no matter the time or place, there are still sick people rooming around and in some circumstances, people aren’t walking around at night or certain times of the day.

– Anonymous

Location: Honolulu, Hawaii, U.S.

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

Share

Bulgaria: Finding the words to discuss street harassment

By

Diana Hinova, Sofia, Bulgaria, SSH Blog Correspondent

Via HD Wallpapers

Lately I’ve been thinking, there does not seem to be as much street harassment in Sofia as there used to be – and when I asked my peers, women in their mid-twenties and thirties, they agree. Still, all of us recall those times when a stranger aggressively introduced himself and followed us down the street; when a car pulled up and offered unceremoniously offered to f*ck us; when an unidentified man shouted obscenities our way and we grit our teeth, stayed calm and kept walking. And when I leave to walk a couple of kilometers home after a dinner party, my friend still asks me to call when I reach home safely, as do most good female friends.

‘Street harassment’ translates poorly into Bulgarian. So do many terms related to gender equality and anything with even a hint of feminism, themes that instantly make many Bulgarians wary. Street harassment seems to have declined in the space we, the women age twenties-to-thirties, inhabit in Sofia. But whether it’s based on changes in our appearance and the attitude we present on the street, or a cathartic improvement in men’s behavior, or both, is an open question. Street harassment still happens regularly here, as several teenagers I asked confirmed last week.

It should concern us that street harassment in Bulgaria more often happens to younger women, in rougher neighborhoods, and in smaller towns. It is in these places, and near construction sites and other places where men from these places cross paths with strangers, that street harassment most often happens in Bulgaria.

This divide teaches girls and women in the most vulnerable spheres of our society that public spaces are not theirs, not safe for them, more than others. It normalizes men objectifying girls’ bodies and consolidates the harmful norms of patriarchy that make feminism a frightening, repulsive term for the populations that arguably need to reconsider their take on gender equality the most.

The same divide leaves some parts of society to stew in their prejudices – racism, xenophobia, homophobia – while others self-righteously insulate their evolved European principles from discussion with opponents. For some reason, it is simply not accepted in Bulgaria to discuss these issues widely and openly (for fear to ‘be a feminist’ and be ostracized as such).  The topics are seen as fit only for experts to have opinions on and express them. Grassroots initiatives against street harassment and gender based violence, like Hollaback and One Billion Rising, do not get nearly as much traction in Bulgaria as they do in other countries in the Balkans (Turkey, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia). And while some would argue that the problems may not be as serious in Bulgaria, there are in fact no reliable figures at the national level* to make such comparisons.

But guess what: they do affect all of us, #YesAllWomen and all men as well. If not us, they will affect our sons and daughters. The Violence Against Women Survey (2014, European Union Agency for Fundamental Rights; explore findings here) indicates that a quarter of all incidents of physical, sexual and psychological violence against women by people other than their partner happens in public spaces: streets, parks, and shops. Bystander intervention in these instances can be effective in deterring the harasser or attacker. Let’s reach out to those parts of our society that still accept street harassment and keep quiet about gender based violence, to show them that it’s so not okay.

Diana has a Master’s in Public Policy from Georgetown University and works as a consultant to INGOs. Follow her on Twitter @dialeidoscope or letnimletni.blogspot.com.

С какви думи да говорим за уличния тормоз?

Напоследък си мисля, изглежда има по малко уличен тормоз в София от преди – и като питам себеподобни, жени в двайсейтте и трийсейтте си, срещам съгласие. Но все пак, всички си спомняме онзи път, когато някой непознат агресивно ни се представи и ни следва по улицата; когато край нас спря кола и безцеремонно ни предложа да ни наебат; когато непознат безпричинно крещи нецензурни закани по нас, а ние стискаме зъби, поемаме въздух и продължаваме. И все още като си тръгвам пеша за вкъщи от вечерна среща, приятелката ми ме моли да звънна като се прибера, за всеки случай, както си правят повечето добри приятелки.

Трудно се превежда понятието street harassment (“уличен тормоз”? – приемам предложения) на Български. Това важи и за много термини свързани с равноправие на половете или дори капка намек за нещо като феминизъм, теми които се възприемат от много Българи с враждебност. Уличният тормоз изглежда по-рядко се случва в пространствата, които ние, жените около двайсетте, населяваме в София. Но дали това се дължи на промени в нашата външност и излъчването, което си придаваме на улицата, на катарзисно подобрение в мъжкото поведение, или и двете, си е отворен въпрос. Уличен тормоз все още се случва редовно тук, както ми потвърдиха няколко запитани тийнеджърки този месец.

Редно е да ни притеснява, че уличния тормоз в България най-често засяга млади момичета, най-често се случва в лоши квартали или по-малки населени места. В тези пространства, както и около строителни обекти и въобще там, където мъже от някои общности се срещат с непознати, най-често се случва уличния тормоз в България.

А това разделение подсилва усещането точно у момичетата от най-уязвимите сфери на обществото, че публичните пространства не са техни, не са безопасни за тях, повече отколкото за другите. Нормализира това, мъжете да гледат на телата им като на предмети и затвърдява вредните порядки на патриархата. Тези порядки, които превръщат феминизма в страшно, отблъскващо понятие именно за общностите които вероятно биха имали най-голяма полза да преразгледат подхода си към равноправие на половете.

Същото разделение оставя някой части от обществото да си циклят в предразсъдъците – расизъм, ксенофобия, хомофобия – докато други самодоволно изолират напредничавите си принципи от диалог с друго-мислещи. Не зная защо в България не се приема откритото и широко дискутиране на тези теми (за да не излезеш феминистка и да те отхвърлят за това). Темите се считат подходящи само за експерти, само те могат да имат и изразяват мнения по тези въпроси.

Масовите движения против уличния тормоз и половото насилие, като Hollaback и Един Милиард се изправят One Billion Rising, не предизвикват особено внимание в България, както става в други Балкански държави (Турция, Босна и Херцеговина, Хърватия). Някои биха казали, че проблемите ни не са толкова сериозни колкото там, но на практика не съществуват данни за да се направи подобно сравнение.

Помислете си: тези проблеми ни засягат всички, и мъже и жени. Ако не нас сега, ще засегнат сновете и дъщерите ни. Изследването на Насилието над Жени (2014, Агенция на Европейския Съюз за Основни Права; разгледайте резултатите тук) показва, че една четвърт от всички случаи на физическо, сексуално и психологическо насилие над жени с извършител друг от партньора, са в публичното пространство: на улицата, в парка, в магазина. Намесата на непознати в такива случаи може ефективно да откаже тормозещия или нападателя. Нека подадем ръка на тези части от нашето общество, които все още приемат уличния тормоз и прикриват половото насилие, да им покажем че никак не е приемливо.

Share