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Belgium: “You get so used to being looked at that you stop looking back”

June 20, 2014 By Correspondent

Dearbhla Quinn, Dublin Ireland/Brussels, Belgium, SSH Blog Correspondent

Game of Thrones star Jack Gleeson has slammed celebrity culture and endorsements in a speech at the Oxford Union | HER

I have never aspired to be famous, the trade off between status and privacy has always marred the fantasy in my eyes. This resolve was strengthened today as I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I came across a video of Jack Gleeson, best known for the role of King Joffrey in Game of Thrones, discussing the insidious nature of celebrity culture. He described how he preferred the anonymity of blending in rather than ‘teetering on  pedestal on inch above the ground’ and discussed the origins and scholarly analysis of this modern cult.

Much of what he said echoed my own misgivings with celebrity culture, but I was struck by the relevance to street harassment, of one particular sentence; “You get so used to being looked at that you stop looking back”. This statement was used to define a particular celebrity affliction termed “acquired situational narcissism” and perhaps you may accuse me of the final word in that term for this comparison; however it reminded me of my own experience last month.  I had a particularly unyielding week of often quite intimidating street harassment, here in Brussels, and for a while; I responded by walking the streets with my head bowed, avoiding eye-contact with other passersby, for fear of inspiring some unwelcome interaction.

While the experience of a celebrity being intruded upon by fans, bears some similarity to that of people (such as women or LGBTQ people) being harassed in the streets there is, I would argue, one key differentiator. This is that in the case of the celebrity this harassment is inspired by a deferential form of admiration, whereas in the case of sexualised street harassment, the harasser is anything but deferential, in fact their behaviour is often quite menacing.

While the celebrity may feel in that moment at the mercy of the whims of their public, they are in wider context empowered and privileged by the status in which they are held in society, a society of which they are both leaders and victims. I am reminded of Caitlin Moran’s assertion that she was not a royalist, not because she dislikes the British royal family but rather, because she sees them as caged animals that she wants desperately to release. They are endowed with every privilege, but privacy. However neither  harassed woman (or members of the LGBTQ community etc) or the celebrity are being recognised as complex human beings, and this is a significant similarity. A recent series of sex abuse scandals in the Youtube ‘Vlogging’ community has prompted a discussion on sexual consent, but also of the reduction of ‘vloggers’ to their glorified online personas and the power that they glean from this endowment.

As Jack Gleeson spoke, in the familiar Trinity-esque style, and articulated ideas that echoed my own inclinations, I pondered the fact that I had chosen to watch this video of him talk; simply because he was paid ‘to pretend to be mean’ on TV. I was falling prey to the very cultural feature I so vehemently malign. Until recently I had very little exposure to this content through availing of, the filtered nature of, my own twitter feed as a news source. However, I have recently become frustrated by the escalating tendency of so many of the news and commentary outlets, I choose to follow, exposing me to a vitriol of inane celebrity gossip, the nature of  which I had previously managed remain ignorant. This was an insulation I sought, not because of intellectual snobbery; but because of my own moral discomfort with the worrying culture of voyeurism that I believe such gossip fosters.

I find it particularly disturbing when feminist news outlets, which I continue to follow almost out of a habitual loyalty to their founding values, increasingly bow to the doctrine of ‘click counting’ and obediently tabloid-ise their content. It seems ironic that media outlets founded in part to critique the commodification and objectification of the female body, become, complicit in furthering its insidious bedfellow; the commodification of personality. When you reduce an individual to a media persona, constructed solely out of slogan-style values and airbrushed features; you contribute to this culture of dehumanisation. A culture in which women can be reduced to their bodies, and celebrities to the output of their marketing team; and you unwittingly further the notion, that a person can be public property.

 

Dearbhla graduated from BESS (Business and Sociology), in Trinity College Dublin, last year. She currently lives in Brussels, Belgium, where she has a think-tank internship working in the areas of gender, equality, and employment. Follow her on Twitter @imoshedinheels and her blogs.

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Filed Under: correspondents, street harassment

“We told them no multiple times”

June 20, 2014 By Contributor

Two guys cornering me and my female friend, in public, asking us to have a drink with them. We decline. they don’t stop asking as, trying to persuade us. We told them no multiple times. Then we implied that my friend and I were dating, and not interested in men, then they got angry insulted us as dirty lesbians, throwing other slurs at us and leaving.

‘Funny’ how harassers never seem to understand a ‘no’ but only a ‘claim on a women by another person’ and then they insult them.

– Anonymous

Location: Germany

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“Hey, How Much? … Hey, you, How MUCH?”

June 20, 2014 By Contributor

I was walking with a friend in the city after an evening of summer festivities that always excites us, the Arts Festival. It was late, I’d say around 12:45 a.m. We were crossing the street and a man (or shall I say boy) yelled from the car at the stop light, “Hey, how much? … Hey, you, how MUCH? Fifty dollars for some head?”

The yelling continued as we crossed the street and proceeded down a trail that leads to the garage where we were parked. My heart was racing and I was in the midst of a panic attack when my friend told me to slow down. She continued to tell me that the more I look as if I’m affected by their comments the more they would continue to harass us. My fear was so intense I could feel my heartbeat work its way up my throat into my brain. I was filled with anger, near rage.

Once we reached the safety of my car, I burst into tears. I was hurt and offended. I even questioned the way I was dressed and asked my friend if I looked like a prostitute. Not that it should matter in anyway mind you, I was wearing an ankle length skirt and a long sleeved sweater. Again, not that what I WAS wearing matters.

I was relieved to see your article today as it mentions that fear is a normal response. Because I always become afraid in these scenarios and my friend does not I thought something was wrong with me . It is comforting to know that this is a normal response to what happened. I had to address the situation with my therapist. Thinking about the event still brings tears to my eyes.

– Anonymous

Location: Pittsburgh, PA

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas
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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“They pulled out a knife and said they’re going to stab our boyfriends”

June 19, 2014 By Contributor

My female friend and me on the train were approached by a group of teenage boys. They wanted our telephone numbers, we said no multiple times, they didn’t stop. We said we have boyfriends. They pulled out a knife and said they’re going to stab our boyfriends.

– Anonymous

Location: Germany

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

USA: Reframing the Street Harassment Conversation with Men

June 19, 2014 By Correspondent

Kirstin Kelly, Monterey, California, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

We cannot stop street harassment from happening unless we understand why people do it in the first place.  To this end, I interviewed three mechanics at various stages in life, two of whom my boyfriend has witnessed engaging in street harassment.  All three men were more than happy to talk about what I referred to as catcalling (I didn’t want to shut them down by labeling it harassment), but none of them admitted doing it recently.  The two my boyfriend had seen admitted to catcalling women when they were younger.

All three men said they thought catcalling was stupid, and none of them were really sure why it happened in the first place.  However, they did point out that there were at least two good reasons for it to keep happening: sometimes it is an effective way to pick up women and it makes for a good joke between friends.  These two incentives tell us a lot about what we need to do to stop street harassment.

When I asked what they thought we should do to stop street harassment, the men I spoke to said that it was nature, that it’s impossible to prevent that behavior.  I disagree.  Across all theories of normative psychology, people are only motivated to engage in a given behavior if they believe their behavior will have a favorable impact on the ultimate outcome.  In this case, the men either believe they have a chance of successfully getting their target to come home with them or at least getting a good laugh from their friends.  This is important because for several of these men, fear of rejection means that street harassment is somewhat safe because it can be played off as a joke should the target not respond favorably.  None of the men I interviewed seemed to consider how their behavior made their targets feel unless they got a favorable response.

This is critical- framing street harassment as derogatory, scary, and socially unacceptable is probably the strongest way to change the pervasiveness of the behavior because it would make the perpetrators think about their behavior in a way that may not have before.  For victims, it feels like a loss of power, and perhaps that’s why some perpetrators engage in some types of street harassment, but for those that have never thought about that impact of their actions, reframing the conversation may have a significant impact on how willing people are to accept the behavior.  The bottom line is that it needs to stop being acceptable fodder for jokes.

The men I talked to also suggested that street harassment is something men grow out of when they get into more serious and committed relationships.  There might be something to that, but all three men are in committed relationships, and while they no longer admit to engaging in catcalling, they have been witnessed doing it in the past few months.  Their refusal to admit to catcalling women since entering committed relationships is telling.  It’s demonstrative of a feeling that street harassment is not acceptable behavior, and that to me suggests social change is possible because the type of change we need is already taking root.

Kirstin is a Master’s Student in Nonproliferation and Terrorism Studies at the Monterey Institute of International Studies and a news editor at the Women’s International Perspective (The WIP). You can follower her on Twitter at @KirstinKelley1, where she regularly posts about human rights issues around the world.

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Filed Under: Advice, correspondents, street harassment

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