Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“Why he does not treat me with more respect”

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I am 73 years old and live in Auckland, New Zealand. I recently downsized from a house in suburbs when I mostly drove to places I needed to get to, to an apartment close to the city where I now mostly walk. I have noticed that when some elderly men pass me in the street they seem to make a strange kissing noise which I find offensive. I have only just realised since finding this website that it is intentional ….. and I am now ANGRY.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

I rather feel like pursuing the next passer by who does this and asking him, in a loud, clear voice why he does not treat me with more respect.

– Jean HH

Location: In the street, often busy areas, Auckland, New Zealand

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Men are NOT Entitled to Our Attention, Bodies, or Lives

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In the wake of the UC Santa Barbara shooting by a man angry at women and the shooting in Stockton, California, where a man allegedly fired his gun at three women Saturday morning who refused to have sex with him and his friends, a lot of people are speaking out about how common it is for some men to feel entitled to women’s attention and bodies.

In addition to articles on news sites and posts on blogs on this topic, people are taking to Twitter and speaking out using the hashtag #YesAllWomen.

Also, Deanna Zandt started a new Tumblr called When Women Refuse (Trigger Warning), detailing the violence men incite on women for refusing their sexual advances.

Street harassment is coming up a lot in these conversations because it is a very clear manifestation of this type of behavior. I see this this all the time in the stories I hear and collect on this blog.

1 – In the first place, most street harassment is the outcome of men feeling entitled to comment on, follow and touch women (and men) they do not know, without their permission.

2 – Then, when women refuse to say thank you to the harasser, give him their phone number, agree to sex, smile when he tells them to or otherwise refuses men’s demands, some men get angry and call women stuck up or a bitch, push them, chase them, throw garbage at them*, run them over and shoot them. This is insane. It needs to STOP.

SSH is releasing a huge national report on street harassment in one week. It includes summaries of 10 focus groups and these kinds of stories came up many times. I hope the report can contribute valuable information to this conversation and show why male feelings of entitlement to women needs to be addressed.

Men are never entitled to women’s attention or bodies. This is an important message that we must all spread. Women’s lives depend on it.

* See the full film for the garbage story

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Holla:Rev 2014

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Today is the second Holla:Revolution, an afternoon of speakers, spoken word and dance about street harassment resistance, organized by Hollaback! in New York City.

If you’re not there, you can watch via the livestream (2-5 p.m. EDT) and follow the conversation on Twitter, @iHollaback using #hollarev.

Speakers include many of our friends and allies, like Sally Kohn, Tatyana Fazlalizadeh from Stop Telling Women to Smile, Charla Harlow of the Harlow Project, Soraya Chemaly, and more!

 

 

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“I am 13 years old and harassed weekly”

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I am 13 years old and harassed weekly. I have been harassed since the age of 10.

The first time I was harassed was when i was walking to a friends house alone at the age of ten. (I have always looked older than I am because I am very chesty.) I was walking past a group of teenagers (maybe around the age of 14). There was two guys and one girl. The guys started shouting things like. “Hey let me kiss you.” A red flag went of in my mind and I ignored them. I didn’t even know what sexual harassment was and it was happening to me and what really bothered me is that the girl didn’t do anything, she just laughed.

– Bunny

Location: Just at a park.

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“How do we address these kinds of wrong cultural messages?”

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Last week my wife and I saw a 2013 indie movie called “The Way Way Back.” It stars Steve Carrell as a very overbearing single parent boyfriend to Toni Collette who is a single mom that is desperate (for male attention). Steve Carrell’s daughter is a snotty/”cool” older teen and Toni Collette’ss son is a geeky/awkward younger teen. The four go on a summer vacation to the shore (a place Steve Carrell and his daughter have gone to for years and know all the other people that live around them). The vacation is ostensibly a trial to see of the four could live together as a “modern family” in the fall.

The story is revolves around Toni Collette’s son. At the beach, his awkwardness is enhanced and comes to a head when the potential step-sister treats him like trash in front of her friends and Toni Collette and Steve Carrell treat him like a 14 going on 13 year old instead of a 14 going on 15 year old when they periodically worry about him when they “come up for air” from their need to deepen their intimacy.

Finally disgusted by his mom and no longer willing to put up with his future step father or his daughter the boy finds a pink stingray bike that is way too small for him and makes his way to town. He comes across a water park and the manager (Sam Rockwell) sees him for what he is and takes him under his wing. The boy doesn’t tell his mom or Steve Carrell what he is up to all day. He becomes an employee, is accepted and in general this is a great coming of age tale. You really want to like the boy and are happy as he overcomes various little geeky awkward things inherent in his 14 year old self and he eventually gains enough courage and maturity to stand up to and expose the Steve Carrell character to his mom and she realizes he has used her — they leave the vacation early, with a newfound bond and resolve to be strong individuals.

But one of the things the movie portrays makes me uncomfortable. It is only one short scene lasting perhaps only 1-2 minutes, but it spoiled the whole show for me. As the boy is socialized by fellow employee/lifeguards at the water park, all older teen males, one of the things they show him is their ritual of making “sexy” girls stop at the start of the high/long water tube, the premise is that there has to be spacing of the people entering in the tube so they don’t run into each other and have an accident, but what they are really doing is looking “checking out the flesh”. As the 14 year old protagonist gains confidence you see him do the same thing he saw the older boys do–as if this was a sign he had come out off his childish ways and become a fill fledged adolescent/man.

There it was. A good/great show with a good message, ruined by just a small side scene. It was there, and why?

What do we do? How do we address these kinds of wrong cultural messages and tell our young boys this kind of thing is not right? How do we get film makers to stop including these messages in their films? btw, 2 of the 8 listed producers were female!

– AK – Hoping to be Considered a Male Ally

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