I have been barked at while walking down the street with my husband, yelled at from cars “Nice labia!”, laughed at by teens who claimed I was a man (they were seated at the table next to me in a fast food restaurant). I have had people direct gender-speculative comments at me on the street, in a restaurant while I was out with my family for Mother’s day, in front of my apartment building, in the hallway of my apartment building, at bars…bars are the worst. I have had my path blocked by a man in a van who propositioned me for sex and have been told to smile by complete strangers.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

I always chose to ignore street harassment. Except for the harassers in the restaurant on Mother’s Day. Those men were sitting at a long table with several women and the owner of the restaurant, whom I knew from years back while working for the company. I didn’t have the nerve to confront them at the time, but instead wrote an anonymous letter to the restaurant owner detailing the harassment and how I had decided to share the burden of their unkind behavior. In the future I will meet it head on because harassers get pleasure out of soliciting discomfort and silence. In fact I now see silence as involuntary agreement that deeply affects your emotional well-being.

– Anonymous

Location: Where hasn’t it happened?

Saturday night at 1:30 a.m., I was walking to my apartment from the train. It’s about a 10 minute walk, so I was already very alert and armed with pepper spray just in case. I experienced 4 (4!!!) different incidents of harassment on my way home. I think what upset me the most about it was that I was alone and already nervous about my walk home, but to add disgusting sexual catcalls in the mix just enraged me. How dare these strangers make me feel so afraid and nervous walking through my own neighborhood in my own city. I want it to stop. I want to feel safe enough to take the train home instead of paying for a cab that I can’t afford.

– Ellen

Location: New York City – Harlem

I was sitting on the bus and this scary man who had clearly been chasing the bus for a few blocks runs on to the bus goes in for the kill aka me and tells me ” I’m the most perfect thing he’s seen” then proceeds to kiss my hand and run off screaming “GOD DAMN F***ING BEAUTIFUL!”

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

Learn to make your permanent bitch face on point and wear it proud and everywhere.

– TM

Location: The bus in MKE

I have been harassed on the street many times, but this is my most recent story:

Last night, I was waiting outside a pub for some of my friends, and I was harassed twice within ten minutes.

Guy #1 came up to me as I was waiting for my friends, and started commenting on how I looked “gorgeous”. He got right into my personal space, and was easily 50 or older (I’m 23 – not that that matters!) I told him that I was waiting for friends, and wanted to be left alone. He eventually walked away (slowly) but kept turning back, and saying things like “But you look so gorgeous! I know I don’t look as good as you…” I stayed where I was, and made a point of looking straight ahead, and checking my phone to show that I was not going to engage further.

Guy #2 came out of the bar I was waiting outside of with his buddy (both were in their forties). I heard him say “LET’S ASK THIS BEAUTIFUL LADY”, and I braced myself, as I knew what was coming next. He came up and asked if I had a lighter. I told him no, as I don’t smoke. He replied with “I can see that, if you did, you wouldn’t be nearly as hot.” I told him (coldly), “I’ll keep that in mind.” He went back to his friend, and although I couldn’t hear them, it was clear that they were talking about me.

My friends arrived, and we went into the pub. And two tables away from us was Guy #1! For the first five minutes, he just stared at me, smiling. I was with a group of six people, so I felt fairly safe, but still uncomfortable. Why do they think leering at another person is okay?

Neither of these are horrifying situations, but I didn’t want to talk to either of these people, and as a result, came across as rude. I don’t owe them my time or attention, and I know this, but I hate that I have to be this way just to feel safe in my own city!

– Becca

Location: Calgary, Canada