By Franny Choi, cross-posted with permission from the Poetry Foundation (audio version available there)
Source: Poetry (March 2014).
Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming
By Contributor
By Franny Choi, cross-posted with permission from the Poetry Foundation (audio version available there)
Source: Poetry (March 2014).
By HKearl
Today was the second day of International Anti-Street Harassment Week!
Here are a few highlights:
A Bitch Media article about the Stop Telling Women to Smile wheat pasting night happening later this week.
Hollaback! Bahamas held a Chalk Talk to engage people in conversation about the sidewalk chalk messages they posted last night. Their Chalk Walk yesterday made the newspaper and there will be another article tomorrow.
Safe City Nepal held a Torch Rally with placards, “We demand street lights for women’s safety”, Bhadrakali-Shahid Gate, Kathmandu.
In Belgium, Hollaback! Gent put up one of the banners they made about street harassment. This one focuses on bystanders and reads, “If mean words stream, you can come in between.”
The #LondonLoves campaign featuring anti-harassment messages at London Landmarks is underway.
In Canada, Women in Cities International held a workshop about street harassment with girls.
In Arizona, Hollaback! Tucson hosted a “Meet Us on the Mall” event at the University of Arizona. They had info about street harassment, feminism, Transgender Day of Awareness, and more + goody bags and picture booths.
The first tweet chat took place today. Four feminist activists co-lead a tweet chat about #streetharassment, especially the young age it starts, how it impacts us, and what we can do about it: @ZerlinaMaxwell @nualacabral @RaquelReichard @Besito86
Community Against Violence in New Mexico was on the Paddy Mac show on 101.9 K-Taos Solar Radio Show and in the Taos News
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See the photo album of events.
Our next Tweet Chat is tomorrow at 2 p.m. ET with SSH, National Sexual Violence Resource Center and PreventConnect as we talk about how street harassment connects to sexual violence and rape culture and what we can do about it. Use #EndSH
By Contributor
Cross-posted with permission
Enough of being right
Enough of being fair,
Do you even care?
I walk in the nights
Wearing my tights
Wolves around me
With glistening eyes
Ready to pounce
Waiting for a chance
I walk my days through
In my flowery shorts,
Those streets everyday
There, the birds of prey
Gawking like a fool
Hawking through my soul
But you say
That is so fair
I am not to dance,
I’m not to prance,
In my tights and shorts
Tights are too tight for me
Shorts are too short, you see
“Nights are not yours girl,
Days are just fine to be!”
And when I tell you how degraded I feel every time
a stranger calls “Hey Bomb, I wanna F*** you” at me,
You say,
“Maybe you were in the wrong place
at a wrong time
wearing a wrong dress”
You never talk about that wrong person
Then you add,
“Go to your college straight,
go with a friend,
Go to your work straight,
stay quiet, do not fend,
Come back home straight
And that’s the end,
end of your day”
End of your day?
End of My day, you say?
End of my dignity
End of my sanity
End of my capacity
To bear
End of my mobility, my creativity
End of your sensitivity
I say
Dear human being, in what language does no mean yes?
And why don’t you get that I’m a human being too
Just like you
Please don’t make me hate you
‘Coz that means I hate me too!
Dear human being, please understand,
And speak up!!
It’s enough now
Enough of accepting,
Enough of giving in,
The bells of freedom hence ringing
Holding head high
Singing my own song
Of love and life,
Of right and wrong
Flying high in the sky
Swimming deep into the sea
Getting lost in wilderness
Staring into the abyss
Dancing to the tunes of hope
– As I like it!
Enough is enough!!
Heather Frederick, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent
Violence exists in a continuum. From one child yelling at another to nations going to war, violence takes many forms. Street harassment is one form of sexual violence that is still overlooked, under-reported and in general, ignored.
As we know many times people who are subjected to street harassment are told “it’s no big deal” and to “just get over it,” but having your physical safety threatened in public is a big deal. And how you get over it is very personal; some people feel best when they ignore harassment–turn the music up and move on with the day, and some people feel best when they combat their harasser–giving the middle finger or yelling back.
No matter what you do in the moment to keep yourself safe, it’s important to take care of yourself later too, when you’re in a place that you feel safe reflecting on what happened.
While it has taken decades for the legal system to recognize that sexual violence is, in fact, a crime, the varying natures of some sexualized crimes are still not yet protected by law. Finally in the US rape, sexual assault, marital rape and sexual abuse are considered criminal, but when it comes to being honked at the laws can be less useful. Because protections against street harassment vary from state to state, and even from town to town, knowing whether or not you can or should contact the police can be tricky. And if you’re in public because you’re on your way somewhere, taking the time to report what happened may not be an option. If you think you may want to report it later writing down what happened in a text to a good friend, or taking a voice note on your phone can help you recall the details. And if you’re the type to Hollaback! having a picture of your harasser is likely to make it a lot easier for the police to find them.
A lot has been written on how to respond to street harassment when it’s happening, and we’re beginning to have conversations about how to prevent/combat street harassment in the first place, but so far there hasn’t been a lot of focus on dealing with how it makes you feel. Personally when I am harassed I go through a range of emotions: fear, embarrassment, anger, sadness and numbness.
The negativity surrounding my experiences is what lead me to become involved with Stop Street Harassment, and I encourage you, especially if harassment is something that affects you regularly too, to get involved in your community, because you are not alone. Also, take care of yourself. We live in a culture that moves at lightning speed all the time, where doing something for yourself is seen as selfish and weak, but sometimes slowing down, caring for your emotional self, is about survival.
Self-care can be as simple as doing some deep breathing when you get to a safe place, or as elaborate as getting a massage on a weekly basis, whether you’ve been harassed or not. Some people throw themselves into their work, if they truly enjoy it, and others spend hours debriefing with friends. Whatever you like to do, whatever helps you relax and take your mind off what happened, that’s what you need to do. Physical stuff like yoga, sports or running can be a great way to release negative energy, while anything creative like baking, music or art can be a great way to express yourself. Volunteering for something in your local community not only lets you give back, it can help you meet people who have similar interests and lifestyles. Journaling is also a helpful tool, not just for dealing with street harassment, but for sorting out your feelings in general.
So no matter what anyone says to you during your commute, know that you deserve to feel safe in public, and have a right to take care of yourself in whatever way works best for you. Now go do something to take your mind off street harassment!
Heather Frederick works a Supervisor for The National Dating Abuse Helpline, www.loveisrespect.org. Her passions include intersectional feminism, reproductive justice, languages, travel, blogging at www.FeministActivism.com (@FeministSNVA) and bringing an end to human rights abuses.
By Contributor
This week is International Anti Street Harassment Week, a week that I would never known had existed had it not been for the wonderful Leena over at @justkissmyfrog, whose first two videos on the subject you can find here and here.
Like Leena, I had no idea this week was something that took place but the more I have read up on it and the more coverage that has been publicised surrounding the issue, the more I have been encouraged to speak up about it, by providing a link between the impact of street harassment on our mental health.
So what is street harassment? A few examples include catcalls, groping, stalking, assault, sexist comments and public masturbation. More importantly, street harassment is a form of gender violence and occurs across the world to at least 80% of women. It degrades females to an undeniably large degree and enhances women’s levels of insecurity and the ways in which they perceive themselves.
My first notable experience of street harassment occurred when I was at least 13 years old (I can’t remember my exact age, but I was very early on in secondary school), and I was walking home from school with a girl that I knew well and a boy which she knew from the year above, but who I didn’t know so well.
I remember at one point of the journey her taking a separate direction to make her way home and this boy and I being left alone to walk the remainder of the journey. At one point, in an alleyway behind my old primary school and in-between some flats he groped my arse and I remember backing away, asking him what he was doing. I can’t remember what happened after that but I remember reaching the end of the alleyway, him having to make his way home and as soon as he was out of sight I remember vividly rushing as fast as I could down to the next alleyway to get home.
The worst part about all of this is at the time, I didn’t think much of it and I thought it was a normal thing to just happen to a thirteen year old girl. Anti-Street Harassment Week has opened my eyes to the multitude of reasons why I struggle with severe anxiety regarding leaving my house, especially without the presence of my boyfriend. I am not by any means suggesting that this event as a teenager prompted or caused my anxiety, not at all, but the fact that over the years preceding this the extreme levels of bibbing and catcalling I receive from cars and strangers as I’m just simply attempting to get to my own house may serve as a slight reason for my constant preference to remain inside within the comfort of my own home. I don’t go nightclubbing anymore or even just out in general without the presence of my boyfriend because I’m terrified of other men seeing me, alone, as an object, to touch and grope as and when they please (which has happened to me in nightclubs and bars before) and being emotionally too vulnerable and anxious to not run from the situation, worried that I would then be followed, thereby causing more attraction to myself.
I count myself very lucky to never have experienced any serious forms of assault, be it sexual or non, have never been made to witness public masturbation and have never been stalked, but I am very aware that this happens everyday across the world and be it minor or major incidents, I am sure I would find it very difficult to find a woman who hasn’t experienced this kind of sexist public humiliation.
A week ago I decided to take a different route home from University and go instead to a train station which is a 20 minute walk from my house as opposed to the one I usually go to which is a tiny bit further away. I also fancied a change of scenery and a different walk home, learning in DBT recently to challenge my anxiety and to be mindful of my present situation. Upon leaving the train station, I have to walk down a long main road behind my house, next to a reservoir. During this walk home I was catcalled once and bibbed three times from men in their cars.
I remember each time feeling a pounding sensation in my heart where this walk wasn’t refreshing anymore and I just wanted to get home. Each time, the pounding got worse. I walked as quickly as I could until my legs began to ache and only felt safe once I had reached the comfort of my house and had locked the door securely behind me. All because I was a woman, alone, walking down a main road.
Although I experience a large amount of body image hang ups still, well after the years of my eating disorder, I sometimes wonder if 50% of my body image issues are to do with the way I view myself and the extra 50% is to do with the fear of comments from men as I walk down the street. Last summer I attempted to steer clear from wearing jeans and black tights with my skirts if it was a nice day and just step out in a crop top and shorts if I wanted to or a dress with natural tights, or better still a dress with no tights at all. But by doing so it felt wrong, and the main point of my argument is that it shouldn’t feel wrong. I should be able to wear what I like and feel comfortable in my own skin without experiencing jeers and leering from men. It affects the way I perceive myself, my actions, the way that I walk along my street, the way that I look and the way I must look to men.
Interestingly enough, my mother asked me the other day whether I’d be prepared to go running outside in preparation for my Race for Life 5k run this year and instead of being ultimately up for the challenge, I responded by saying it was a ludicrous idea, telling her to think of all the attention and crap we’d attract from passing vehicles. (I live on a main road and consequently am surrounded by main roads). Yet my Dad goes jogging at least three times a week, with no issues whatsoever, because he’s male. I just know how impossible that would be for me, as a woman living in London, to do. I shouldn’t have to feel that way.
This week is already opening up my eyes to street harassment, what it is, and how common it is across the world. I am more than just an object and I am more than the size and shape of my legs, boobs, waist, and bum. I deserve respect by choosing to take a simple stroll to my local shops, not an entity of abuse. I’ve been brought up to just expecting and accepting that men like to ogle, stare, and yell obscenities at myself and my friends and that is really not okay. I deserve my own space, not just as a woman but as a human being. Street harassment ultimately violates my rights as a human.
It’s difficult to say what we can do to fight against the power that street harassment has upon young girls and women. Speaking out about it, you may argue will not change the situation, but it will raise awareness and highlight the message that this issue is wrong and one to be taken seriously, not just one that a bunch of feminists got together to start complaining about (of course, because we’re women, right?!)
We can also educate ourselves and be aware of what to do in the event of experiencing street harassment, and I will hereby redirect you to some excellent articles on how to deal with street harassers on the International Stop Street Harassers Website here, as well as what to do before or after experiencing street harassment here.
I’d also really encourage you to follow @EverydaySexism on Twitter, which is used to document the public’s experiences of sexism and harassment on a daily basis, highlighting the severity of the issue.
Amy-Louise is a 21 year old woman trying to work towards bigger and better things. English Literature student. Blogger and bookworm who campaigns to raise awareness of mental health problems. Currently a retail assistant with huge dreams and ambitions. Charity fundraiser and most importantly, in love.