Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

DC Gay & Bisexual Men: Share your experiences

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If you live in the Washington, D.C. area and are a gay or bisexual man, you’re invited to share your street harassment stories and experiences during a discussion group on July 23.

The discussion group is part of  Stop Street Harassment‘s “Documenting Street Harassment in America” initiative that includes a 2,000 person, nationally representative survey and 10 discussion groups with different demographics across the country.

SSH Founder Holly Kearl (me) is teaming up with Patrick Ryne McNeil, who researches the street harassment of gay and bisexual men, to conduct it with gay and bisexual men to hear about their unique experiences with sexual harassment and sexual violence in public places like streets, parks, buses, subways, stores, and restaurants.

Info:

The discussion group will be held on Tuesday, July 23, 7:30 – 8:30 p.m. at Lamond Riggs library by Fort Totten Metro Station. Light refreshments will be provided.

Note:

I will tape record and then transcribe the focus group discussion, but to make it a safe space for participants to share their stories, they can have their names be anonymous if they would like.

More info about the study:

Read more about the study. I hope to complete the rest of the focus groups this summer, conduct the survey in the fall, and release a report in early 2014. Read an article about one of the focus groups I conducted in South Dakota last summer. You can contact me directly with any questions or concerns at hkearl@stopstreetharassment.org or contact Patrick at patrickryne@gmail.com.

More info about harassment of gay & bisexual men:

Washington Blade | Huffington Post

RSVP:

hkearl@stopstreetharassment.org

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“[They were] yelling, ‘Dibs!’ at us”

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I was walking with a friend on a nature trail next to a parking lot. There was a tour bus full of men that saw us and started banging on the windows yelling, “Dibs!” at us. One of the men stepped out of the bus and shouted at me (addressing me by my clothing): “Hey, orange sweater! Wanna have sex with me tonight? I’ll wear your legs like a scarf!”

My friend and I ignored them and continued walking.

– Lindsey

Location: Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin

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“Is this conversation ok?”

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I need your help! I was just at a CVS in line and the guy behind me said to the woman in front of me, “Has anyone ever called you Peg?” and she looked at him and paused. I guess this woman looks like an actress with the name of Peg from a TV show (that I am not familiar with). He went on saying something like, “She’s the one on that show….”. The woman, still hesitant (maybe she really was the actress in question, she had on her sunglasses!) said something to acknowledge that she knew of the actress and that yes, in fact, people had asked her this question. He came back (and here is where I need your help) with, “Well I mean that as a compliment, because I think she is HO-OT!”

The woman had completed her check out and didn’t say much and just moved on out the door.

Ugh. I was tongue-tied, but felt badly. I wondered if I should have said something to the woman, like, “Is this conversation ok? Would you rather not be the object of this guy’s fantasies?” of course loudly. I didn’t. Maybe because I’m pretty low key and whenever I’ve made a scene it always seems to backfire on me. But maybe I should have….

– Alan

Location: West Palm Beach, FL

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“As if my value as a human being is based solely on my appearance”

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This just happened a few minutes ago. I was walking to the store to pick up some groceries. It’s exactly one block from my apartment. I live near Pike Place Market. I managed to make it exactly half a block when I made the mistake of looking both ways when near a busy-ish parking garage. A man, who I only got a glance at noticed me and started with the smile routine. When I ignored him he escalated saying things along the lines of me “wasting” my looks, that some day they’ll go away (as if my value as a human being is based solely on my appearance), and when I continued to ignore him started ranting about it to people passing by. I managed to go into the store without the creep following me. It took sooooo much effort not to lose my temper. I often feel that I have to wear headphones in order to be left alone, and sometimes that doesn’t work.

– H.M.

Location: Seattle, WA

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The Street Her-Ass-Men Song

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Awesome Virginia high school student Julia Romero wrote a song about street harassment for an English class project this year. She sent it to me and has given me permission to share it with all of you!

She answered a few questions for me about her project and then the lyrics are pasted below that.

Thanks for your great work, Julia, and for using humor and your musical talents to bring more attention to the widespread problem of street harassment!

INTERVIEW:

SSH: What inspired you to write a song about street harassment?

Julia: For starters, I didn’t really know what street harassment was. After researching it, I realized that this topic wasn’t really going to be as well liked as other projects. My school, Central High School, isn’t in my opinion as well educated on this topic of harassment. I wanted to make my project educational but also more appealing to the fellow students. I thought a funny song was the way to do it. I wanted to give my peers more then the typical don’t street harass preaching.

SSH: What kind of responses have you gotten from people who’ve heard your song?

Julia: When I sang my song for the class, it was very interesting. As I was going up to sing people were quiet as if waiting for me. It was funny. I think they were expecting more of a lecturing song. When they realized it was a funny and not a hymn, they opened up and laughed. Afterwards, they began to ask me questions and most didn’t even know of the topic. The boys might have been a bit defensive but all in all, the song was a success.

SSH: What suggestions would you have for people your age who want to do something about street harassment, too?

Julia: I would suggest people my age to become more educated on harassment. Knowledge is something that is lacking. For those who want to do something about it, have courage! Listen to the annoying voice in your head pushing you to do something! Just go for it! Stand up for others and educate as you go. Contact female activists! Asking for help is never a crime.

LYRICS:

The Street Her-Ass-Men Song

Written By: Julia Romero

 

Male Perspective: Verse 1

Hey Baby

Nice Booty

I would tap dat all day long

Good morning sexy

I like your body

Be cat calling you from my car

 

Male Perspective: Pre-Chorus

Cuz you got it going on

And I’m turning oh so on

Girl you make me feel like I’m in control of you

But what you probably don’t know

If you ignore me little ho

Then I’ll dare put my hands on you

Don’t stand a chance against me

 

Chorus

Street Her-Ass-Men are real

You need to be prepared

Know what’s out there

You need to care

No matter if you’re black, tan or white

Whether you’re rich or not quite

You need to care

You need to be aware

 

Female Perspective: Verse 2

He just talked to me said

Girl, you got a nice booty

And I kind of felt flattered

I guess I needed the boost

But then he

Stayed right there

I guess I didn’t really want here

Just shake off the feeling

He will leave

 

Female Perspective: Pre-Chorus

Where’s my daddy where’s my bro

Did he just call me a ho

Boy you make me feel like I’m in danger

I thought just a comment couldn’t hurt

But why do I feel like such dirt

Please just stay away but hey

What are you doing touching my legs

 

Chorus

Street Her-Ass-Men are real

You need to be prepared

Know what’s out there

You need to care

No matter if you’re black, tan or white

Whether you’re rich or not quite

You need to care

You need to be aware

 

Female Perspective: Bridge

You see a comment can lead

To a lot of other things

So if you like random guys

Coming up and treating you to flattery

Wake up to reality

Fight against brutality

Stop future fatality

Of street her-ass-men

 

You need to be aware

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