This article, by Yolí Sánchez Neyoy, is cross-posted with permission from the blog of the International Planned Parenthood Federation/Western Hemisphere Region.

There was a time in my life when I didn’t engage in critical thinking and receiving sexual comments about my body defined my level of self-esteem. Little by little, as I began to understand what makes men feel they have the right to comment on the look of my behind, I started to reject these “compliments” and respond to the men who made them. Eventually, this would be one thing that would convince me to leave Mexico, my country of origin.

Why do I take these comments so seriously? Because, despite their appearance as ‘good-natured’ or ‘playful’, these acts are on the same continuum as femicide and sexual assault.

Globally, gender-based violence takes the life of one in three women worldwide and is the leading cause of disability and death for women between the ages of 15 and 44. According to a 2012 Thomson Reuters Foundation poll on the best and worst G20 countries for women, Mexico ranked in the bottom five in quality of life for women. The objectification of women is so entrenched in Mexico (as well as in other places) that most people have no perception when violence is being exercised.

In Latin American countries, violence is considered to be only that which involves physical aggression, such as hitting, rape, or murder. Sometimes these acts are justified by popular culture and media that says a woman “deserved it” or even “asked for it.” These excuses would not apply if the violence was exercised against a man.

On the other hand, what happens to men and boys that experience gender-based violence? They are invisible or ridiculed by a culture that considers them to be a “lesser man.”

Government efforts to resolve gender-based violence are often reluctant and, therefore, weak. The result is that gender-based violence is normalized, femicide is accepted in many regions of the country, and several areas are completely overwhelmed by sex trafficking and exploitation. These crimes will never cease to occur in a society where everyone has rights over a woman’s body except herself, where women are not treated with equality and respect.

I hope these grievances emphasize the urgency of my petition: we need to integrate rights-based, comprehensive sexuality education into the school systems to encourage healthy relationships and gender equality. Teaching the biology of reproduction is not enough. Young people must learn and practice the skills necessary to have non-violent interactions, like empathy and resolving conflicts with dialogue. They also need to be able to identify and respect another’s emotional and physical boundaries. When our destructive stereotypes about masculinity and femininity are broken, we will be taking a big step forward.

Yolí Sánchez Neyoy is quality manager at dance4life, an organization creating a world in which young people are free from the stigma and discrimination of HIV infection. With a passion for equality and human rights, she adds her grain of sand by working on monitoring and evaluation.

Editor’s Note: This e-mail is published with permission from the author and his wife. Contact information for the restaurant is posted below if you’d like to call or write to them to voice your displeasure with their stance on the acceptability of employees harassing customers!!

My wife and I went to a local(Charlotte, NC) restaurant last evening and while we were waiting for a table my wife was sexually harassed by several members of the kitchen/wait staff.  The staff seemed to be almost completely male except for the woman taking names for tables at the front.

My wife used the restroom which is located very close to the kitchen area and is kind of open. On the way going in and coming out of the bathroom several male staff members whistled at her, made obscene gestures and made lewd comments(primarily in Spanish). My wife is Mexican and speaks fluent Spanish and I speak some myself. I don’t know if they didn’t realize she would understand or what but the whistling and gestures they made are pretty clear in any language.  I did not see this behavior as it happened but my wife indicated it was loud enough for other restaurant patrons to notice. Needless to say she was very shaken up.

I confronted one of the staff members she pointed out and asked him if he said the things she accused him of and surprisingly not only did he admit he did but told me he didn’t feel it was a big deal.  He left and within a minute or so much of the staff was grinning at us and purposely making things very uncomfortable. We obviously decided we would not be dining there anymore but I felt it important to let management know.  When I spoke to the manager his response was the most surprising of all. He explained to me that this happens regularly and while he was sorry we were offended it “was all in good fun”.  I asked him if he thought it was acceptable for male members of his staff to treat female customers in such a way and he responded that it was “just the way it is.”

He invited us to leave if we were unhappy with the way his staff behaved, which we did but are disgusted that such behavior would not only go on in the open at a public establishment but seemingly be encouraged by management.  We have dined at this restaurant before and had no such problems and this is not a bar or club or anything like that but a sushi restaurant.  Not that this is acceptable behavior in any setting.