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Secretly, We DON’T Like It

January 4, 2013 By HKearl

This is the image Daily Mail chose to include with the article…

Oh geez.

XLS-Medical Fat Binder conducted a study with an unknown quantity of dieters whom they found through an unknown way and they concluded that:

“More than half would like to be on the receiving end of a wolf whistle and 28% regard this as one of the biggest motivators to weight loss.”

Overall, the study found that people are more motivated to stick to their diet if they themselves notice their weight loss and if other people notice it too and pay them a compliment.

I’m all for being healthier and for genuine, appropriate and wanted compliments, and I get how positive feedback can help someone stay motivated as they work to achieve a difficult goal.

But I’m NOT for encouraging men to vocally sexually objectify women on the streets and I’m very against the Daily Mail writing this in an article about the study:

“We may tut and scowl and whisper obscenities under our breath when men wolf-whistle in our direction – but secretly we love it.”

No, “we” don’t. The vast majority of us are annoyed, angered, and upset by it, especially if we’re lesbians, rape survivors, or people who are harassed on a regular basis. Don’t perpetuate tired old lies! And don’t contribute to rape culture.

Street harassment, including “wolf whistling,” is disrespectful and objectifying and it contributes to the prevalence of gender violence. One in three women will be raped, beaten or abused in her lifetime worldwide!! Companies and people should be putting their energy toward fixing that, not on dieting. (Riots not diets)

But since this questionable study is out there and is getting covered in the news, I feel I should delve into the issue further.

I, too, found some women (but not 50 percent!!) who liked being whistled at when I conducted a study in 2008 as part of my book research.

I surveyed more than 800 women from 23 countries about street harassment, and about 25 percent said they liked being whistled at, too. What’s telling though is that almost no woman liked being commented on, touched, followed, or masturbated/flashed at, yet too often a “wolf whistle” escalates into one of those behaviors.

I thin it’s important to look at why this many women say they want to be whistled at or like it (and I cover these reasons more in chapter five of my book).

1. Severity and Frequency: When I filtered out the experiences of those women who said they liked being whistled at, I found that, compared to women who did not like it, they were rarely harassed and few of them had experienced extreme forms of harassment like stalking or groping. So yes, perhaps if the worst behavior a woman has experienced is whistling from men and she only experiences it once in a while, she may not mind it. But for most women, that isn’t the case.

Of the women I surveyed, over 80 percent were the target of a sexually explicit comment, 75 percent were followed, and over 50 percent were groped/sexually touched. Most women experienced street harassment on at least a weekly basis.

2. Context Matters: Nearly all women who took my survey said they didn’t like street harassment – including wolf whistling – if there were multiple men harassing one of her, if it was dark out or if she was in an unfamiliar area, or if the man was much older or much younger than her.

If the dieting survey asked if a woman would like to be whistled at by a group of men while she walked alone on a street unfamiliar to her after dark, I’m sure fewer women would have said they want that to happen.

3. Traditional Viewpoints: When Carol Brooks Gardner researched street harassment in Indiana, she found that the small percent of women in her study who liked mild forms of harassment, including whistling, were also more likely to be apolitical and traditional, believing things like men should be the breadwinners and women the homemakers, harassment was a legitimate way for men to vocalize their appreciation of women, and men should initiate relationships.

4. Engrained Sexualization: Perhaps the strongest reason why some women say they like being whistled at or wish men did whistle at them is the engrained sexualization of girls and women. The results of the 2007 report by the American Psychological Association (APA) Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls found that overwhelmingly, girls are sexualized frequently in the media, by parents and other adults, by friends, and even by themselves.

Nearly everything girls and women are encouraged to do for self-improvement is geared toward gaining the attention of men (look at any woman’s magazine to see how true that is). Since street harassment is male attention, women who have internalized the idea that their worth lies in how much attention they get from men may like the mild forms. In the dieting study in particular, it’s likely that many of the respondents were losing weight to try to be more attractive to men so getting any kind of attention from them would feel like an achievement.

Conclusion: I write a lot about what men can do to change their attitudes about street harassment, but this a reminder that many women need to make attitude adjustments, too. Women are intelligent, thoughtful, creative, athletic, powerful, empathetic people. We do not need to be validated by men on the streets who whistle at us like we’re dogs (no offense to dogs, I love them!).

Instead of receiving a self-esteem boost from some guy on the street who knows how to whistle and feels self-important enough to publicly evaluate a woman’s looks, I hope women can find self-esteem boosts from being good friends or family members, getting a good grade or feedback on a work project, helping out in their community, advocating for an issue, looking out for those in need, and learning something new.

(Thank you to reader Jenn for bringing this story to my attention)

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Vulgarity Outside Starbucks

January 2, 2013 By Contributor

I was walking on U Street NW just exiting the Starbucks when a large/fat man in his late 30s was riding his bike on the sidewalk approaching my direction. He said the following to me, “If you let me take you home, I’ll let you ride my tongue for 5 hours.”

It was horrifying, disgusting, in daylight and made me feel creeped out. I screamed at him, “You’re not supposed to ride your bike on the sidewalk, you dork! And go fuck yourself asshole.”

He yelled something to me inaudible when he got to the corner and kept riding his bike onward.

– Anonymous

Location: U Street NW between Starbucks and Vida, Washington, DC

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“I was so scared and embarrassed I cried the rest of my way home

December 30, 2012 By Contributor

I was heading home from work, and was walking down the footpath, when a group of young adults pulled there car to the side , and the guy in the passenger seat pulls down his window and yells out, “Hey there, the biggest set of tits I’ve ever seen,” he then starts laughing.

Although I had my headphones in I could still hear him but pretended not to. They then drove of. I was so scared and embarrassed, I cried the rest of my way home, and it wasn’t like I was wearing a low cut top, I was in my work uniform (buttoned up shirt). This kind of behaviour is disgusting and I feel as though I can’t walk that way anymore.

– SK

Location: Broad daylight

 

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

2012 #EndSH Successes Part 5: Twenty-Five Stories

December 28, 2012 By HKearl

At the end of every year, I like to look back, document and reflect on everything that has transpired in the global movement to end street harassment and assault. Yesterday I wrote about 10 of Stop Street Harassment’s achievements. Today, I’m posting a five-part series about the highlights of ALL activism that happened this year (PDF format). WHAT A YEAR!

Post 1: New anti-street harassment campaigns, new initiatives within existing campaigns, and protests.

Post 2: Creative anti-street harassment initiatives.

Post 3: Government initiatives/collaborations

Post 4: New studies, reports, and significant news articles.

Post 5 (this one): Stories about 25 people who stood up to street harassers this year.

1. In Seattle, Washington, as a woman walked down the street she heard a man shout, “Hey baby, hey baby…” from across the street. When she ignored him, he ran across the street and started following her shouting, “Hey what’s wrong with you, you prejudice? You’re prejudice aren’t you…” (she was white and he was black). She got mad and shouted, “Yes I’m prejudice,” and he looked shocked. Then she said, “I’m prejudiced against men who stand on street corners shouting at women!” His shocked expression changed to one of thoughtfulness and as he turned away he said, “I’m going to think about what you just said.”

2. When a man groped Dawn as she walked to her bus stop in London, she pulled her headphones out and screamed “HOW DARE YOU GROPE ME, YOU DISGUSTING MAN!” A man two metres in front heard her and shouted at the groper, “What are you doing? How would you feel if it was your sister?” The groper looked shocked and ran off.

3. JR was at a gas station payphone in Memphis, Tennessee, when she said a guy getting gas started cat calling her. She was enraged and yelled back at him, “Are you f-ing kidding me?? Has that EVER really worked for you???” He jumped in his truck and left.”

4. When Maureen was at Home Depot in Maryland, she heard a voice behind her say, “Looking good, little mama.” She whipped my head around and without hesitation responded, “Excuse me? I’m not your little mama, don’t think you can speak to me that way. Move along.” He was obviously shocked that she called him out and embarrassed, because everyone else in the isle turned around and stared at him.

5. After observing men at a construction site in London harassing women day after day, Jen filled out a comment card and emailed the company. She received this message from the Head of External Communications, “Dear Jen, I want to let you know that the investigation has begun and whilst we carry out the investigation, the individual is not currently working at our site… thank you for bringing this to our attention. Our Project Director and I would be more than happy to meet with you if you wish.”

6. A woman riding the CalTrain leaving San Francisco, California, was told by a man who’d been leering at her, “Nice legs, very sexy.” She give him a death stare and he turned around, but then leers at her a few more times. When she got up to leave the train, she stood by him and calmly but firmly and loudly said, “The reason I did not respond to you is because what you said to me was sexually aggressive and made me feel threatened…” He apologized and seemed really ashamed and she felt better.

7. Priscilla Dang was running in Vancouver, Washington, when two teenage boys bicycled past her and one of them groped her. She knows kung-fu and she “pushed one of the teenagers to the ground and made him apologize. When the second teenager called her a derogatory term, Dang says she snapped, hitting him in the face several times while simultaneously dodging his punches. According to The Columbian, when he pulled out a knife she used his bike as a shield until a passerby showed up and called 911…The 18-year-old suspect is now facing fourth-degree assault charges, while the 16-year-old will be judged by a juvenile prosecutor.”

8. When a construction worker in Melbourne, Australia, looked HD up and down and told her she looked hot, she replied loudly “I don’t know who you are. We’re not friends.” all without breaking stride.

9. A man on a bicycle sexually assaulted Liz Gorman was sexually assaulted in Washington, DC’s Dupont Circle. She reported the incident to the Metropolitan Police Department and wrote about her experience on the blog of Collective Action for Safe Spaces. Within days, the post had set off a viral reaction, both locally and nationally. It was republished by The Washington Post, Jezebel and Fem2.0. It has been reported on by The Washington Post Local (front page Metro section!), WJLA, WTTG FOX, DCist, DCblogs and the Washington City Paper. The police were eventually able to find her assailant and he admitted to assaulting numerous other women.
DC Breaking Local News Weather Sports FOX 5 WTTG

10. Jackie in Savannah, Georgia: “I was walking home from school and a car followed alongside me for about 10 minutes, constantly asking me if I wanted a ride several times. The last time he asked I looked him in the eye and said, “You’re obviously not going any faster than I am, so why would I want a ride?” He sped away.”

11. In Manhattan, Athena told a harasser he had “bad manners” after he yelled, “I love you and that ass too,” at another woman who had just passed by him.

12. A group of young men harassed a 50-year-old woman named Anne as she walked into a grocery store in Lindsay, Ontario, Canada. The manager of the store refused to do anything about it, so she decided to stop giving him her business and he lost her as a customer.

Photo by Mark Garfinkel, via the Boston Herald

13. In Boston, a young woman would not let a public masturbator intimidate her during her trolley ride home from work. Instead she went into “She-Hulk” mode and lunged at him as he tried to run away. She called the police and he was arrested under the charge of “open and gross lewdness” and was ordered to stay off the public transportation system in the future.

14. In Brooklyn, New York, Kendalle was harassed by a construction worker who made graphic and disgusting noises and motions at her and commented on her legs. She told him, “That’s disgusting. Keep it to yourself” and kept on walking.

15. A man in Austin, Texas, asked to see a woman’s breasts when she approached her car, parked on the road. She paused and then said, “Actually that’s not okay because what you just said is harassment.” He claimed he was flirting and she said, “No, that’s not flirting, because you just made me into a sexual object and that is not okay.” They argued back and forth for a bit and then she said, “Just because I am a woman alone on the street doesn’t mean you can talk to me like that.” He said, “Well if that’s how you’re going to look at this then I can’t win…” She concluded by saying, “That’s how I’m looking at it.”

16. “A bus driver who used to tease female passengers by passing lewd comments and playing vulgar songs learnt the lesson of his life when he was beaten blue and black by two female passengers at [the] Bhatinda bus stop [in India].”

17. A woman was at a nightclub in Vancouver when a man approached her and engaged her in small talk. She politely responded back but then he said, “Nice tits.” She was shocked but looked him right in the eyes, and said, “Yours are pretty nice too.”  Once he comprehended what she said, he was surprised, left her alone and then left the club altogether.

18. When she was on her way to meet a female friend, a woman was harassed by a man on a bus in Edinburgh, Scotland. The woman ignored him. When she and her friend came across him later, he harassed her again, so the friend confronted him. She told him that was he did was street harassment and that he shouldn’t harass women. As she said this, she pointed her finger at him “like he was a naughty child” and kept her voice steady despite her nerves. He stopped and walked away.

19. Yvonne likes to tell her harassers, “I don’t exist for you!” Once when she said this to a man harassing her at the bus stop, he was dumbfounded and walked away.

20. As “Rat Girl” walked through her neighborhood in Brooklyn, New York, an older man walking toward her waved his hand in her face as he passed by and said, “Good evening to you, with your sexy ass.” She stopped, turned around and said in a very loud voice, “That is incredibly rude!” He yelled at her as he walked away but she simply shouted back, “Don’t harass women on the street anymore!”

21. After a group of men started to cat-call a male ally’s friend, he noticed that she was feeling deeply uncomfortable. He asked her if he could do anything to help. She said yes. So he asked the harassers, “Who here respects women?” They looked around confused. He said, “It was quite a wonderful sight to see a group of harassers vexed about the answer to an easy question of respect.”

22. DG is an officer in the Navy and as she walked to an event in uniform in San Diego, California, a man asked her for money. When she turned him down, he told her she “had a tight ass and nice tits, and [she] could give him those.” Another man on the street said, “She doesn’t deserve that. She is an officer in the US Navy and she has given enough.” She thanked him.

23. A group of people were sitting outside a pizza place in Launceston, Tasmania, and as women walked by, the men in the group harassed them. DM observed them harassing other women and then was harassed by them, too. Once she got to safety, she called a friend, got the phone number for the pizza place and reported the men to the owner. She was pleased with his response: “I have been keeping an eye on them and it has been worrying me. Thank you for calling – that’s it, I will tell them to leave. Thank you for talking to us about it.” And she now goes out of her way to eat there since the establishment supports ending street harassment.

24. Emily was driving with the windows down in Sarasota, Florida, and she pulled up beside a pickup truck at a stop light. The two men inside the truck began whistling at her and laughing. She turned off her radio, turned to them and said, “You know, it’s really offensive when men whistle at a woman like she’s an animal. I don’t appreciate that. What you’re doing is called street harassment and it is unacceptable.” The driver said, “I’m sorry ma’am. I’ll stop tonight.”

25. Lauren Bravo in London put on her cape and became a street harassment crusader who used the “fake friend” tactic when she saw a man harassing a woman on a busy road one evening. She said, “I caught the girl’s eye and mouthed, “Are you ok?” to which she shook her head…“There you are!” I cried, launching myself on her.“Hi!” she faked, as I dragged her away. Then we stood together on the pavement miming friendly chat like a couple of am-dram actors, while Slug Man stared, lingered, and eventually slithered off back to his cabbage patch.”

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2012 #EndSH Successes Part 4: Studies, Reports, Articles

December 28, 2012 By HKearl

At the end of every year, I like to look back, document and reflect on everything that has transpired in the global movement to end street harassment and assault. Yesterday I wrote about 10 of Stop Street Harassment’s achievements. Today, I’m posting a five-part series about the highlights of ALL activism that happened this year (PDF format). WHAT A YEAR!

Post 1: New anti-street harassment campaigns, new initiatives within existing campaigns, and protests.

Post 2: Creative anti-street harassment initiatives.

Post 3: Government initiatives/collaborations

Post 4 (this one): New studies, reports, and significant news articles.

Post 5: Stories from 20 people who stood up to street harassers this year.

Studies & Reports/Thesis:

1. Canada/USA/Global: Women in Cities International partnered with UN Habitat, and Plan International – Because I am a Girl to write the report Adolescent Girls Creating Safer Cities: Harnessing the Potential of Communication for Development.

2. Canada: Women in Cities International also released the report Tackling Gender Exclusion: Experiences from the Gender Inclusive Cities Programme.

3. Croatia: Hollaback! Croatia informally surveyed 500 people (mostly women) online about street harassment in 2012. They found that 99 percent of women experienced some form of street harassment in their lifetime, and 50 percent experienced it by age 18.

4. India: About 92 percent of 5,000 women working in sectors like information technology, hospitality, civil aviation and call centers reported feeling unsafe while travelling to their homes after sunset, according to a nationwide survey by the Associated Chambers of Commerce & Industry of India’s Social Development Foundation. The women live in Delhi-NCR, Mumbai, Kolkata, Bangalore, Hyderabad, Ahmedabad, Pune and Dehra Dun.

5. India: When 1000 women in Mumbai were surveyed, 80 percent said they had been street harassed. “The maximum cases of verbal and physical harassment take place in crowded areas such as trains and railway platforms,” said Shurbhi Sharma, member of We The People Foundation, which conducted the survey recently.

6. Poland: Hollaback! Poland informally surveyed 818 people and found that 85% of female respondents had experienced street harassment in public spaces in Poland, as had 44% of men.

7. Turkey: Hollaback! Istanbul informally surveyed 141 college students about their experiences with street harassment. They found that 93 percent had been street harassed and 69 percent experience street harassment at least on a monthly basis.

8. UK: The Ending Violence Against Women Coalition released two studies about street harassment in London. One study found that 43 percent of women had been harassed during the previous year and the second one honed in on harassment that takes place on public transportation.

9. UK: Hollaback! Gwynedd, Wales, partnered with two student unions and surveyed 400 students about their experiences with street harassment.

10. UK: Jennifer Harrison wrote her graduate thesis on street harassment issues: “Gender segregation on public transport in South Asia: A critical evaluation of approaches for addressing harassment against women.”

11. USA: Ninety-five people responded to the online survey following a Bay Citizen story about unwanted sexual behavior on Muni, BART and AC Transit. Fifty-one percent of respondents said they had experienced unwanted sexual behavior on public transit. Only 6 percent reported it.

12. USA: Patrick McNeil conducted research as part of his master’s thesis at The George Washington University about the street harassment of gay and bisexual men. He surveyed 331 men around the world, and about 90 percent said they are sometimes, often, or always harassed or made to feel unwelcome in public spaces because of their perceived sexual orientation – a figure that is far too high.

13. USA: In partnership with Hollaback!, researchers from the Worker Institute at Cornell asked 110 New York City-based social service providers whether or not they receive reports of street harassment, and if so, how they respond to those reports. They found that more than 86 percent of respondents had received reports of street harassment from a client, constituent or consumer.

14. USA: Laurel Long wrote her college thesis on street harassment at Goucher College in Baltimore, Maryland.

Select Important Articles (in no particular order):

{Unwinona}, “I debated whether or not to share this story.“

LAist, “Women Share Their Stories Of Sexual Harassment (And Worse) On Public Transportation”

The Guardian, “Wolf-whistling is just the start – harassment is not harmless”

CNN, “Hey baby! Women speak out against street harassment”

Sparkwood & 21, “The Story of My Sexual Assault on Muni in San Francisco”

The Bay Citizen, “Why Transit Riders Don’t Report Unwanted Sexual Behavior“

Sparkle All Day, “The Punch Heard Round The World”

The Guardian, “How to stop sexual harassment on public transportation“

International Business & Law, “Brussels’ Offensive-Language Fines Highlight Widespread Sexual Harassment“

The Voice of Russia, “Sexual harassment in Russia“

The Jerusalem Post, “Egyptian women battle harassment on the streets“

The F Word Blog, “Spanish feminist subjected to harassment campaign”

Le Nouvel Observateur, “Harcèlement de rue : les femmes racontent le machisme“

The Atlantic, “Violent Protests in India Over Rape Case”

Global Press Institute, “Women Break Silence About Sexual Harassment on Nepali Buses“

USA Today, “Arab women cry for end to harassment“

Eliminating the Impossible, “Street Harassment 102: When You’re Blind and a Woman“

Fair Observer, “Natasha Smith: Is This Egypt?”

Week Woman, “My Hijab, My Body – A Muslim Feminist on Street Harassment in Argentina“

Heeb Magazine, “A Woman’s Guide to Hasidic Street Harassment”

Open Democracy, “Street sexual harassment: breaking the silence in Yemen”

The Daily Star Lebanon, “Public masturbation: Where sexual harassment meets disorder”

Libya Herald, “Sexual harassment of Libyan women”

Welcome to Kosovo 2.0, “Kosovo’s Streets: A woman’s perspective“

IRIN, “NEPAL: Women demand end to sexual harassment“

High on Cliches, “Wie verhalte ich mich möglichst nicht wie ein Arsch?“

Tunisia Live article about street harassment.

Time, “Ladies First: Czech Railways Rolls Out Female-Priority Compartments“

Jeddah Mind Trick (Saudi Arabia), “Walking While Covered”

Empty Nest Expat, “Breaking the Silence on Street Harassment in Istanbul“

Latin America, “Argentina: Women suffer from sexual harassment on the street, a social problem”

Clutch Magazine, “Hey There Pretty Lady: How Street Harassment Affected My Body Image and How I Overcame It”

The March 2012 issue of Cosmo magazine includes advice for dealing with gropers. Read an extended version of SSH founder Holly Kearl’s advice on the SSH blog.

Crates and Ribbons, “The Kissing Sailor, or “The Selective Blindness of Rape Culture”

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