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“The driver motioned to me to get in”

October 31, 2012 By Contributor

This may be very, very triggering for some people so if you get triggered by street harassment I would suggest you don’t read this.

One time I was walking down the street in a summer dress to get some bread and happened to be smiling – I remember a man in a car started yelling at me about my smile.

Another time I was walking to the tube station in a cardigan and leggings when a van pulled up beside me. I was in a nice middle-class area where people often have work done so I assumed the driver was working there and kept walking.

The van kept following me – no big deal, the driver might be going to some other place. The van pulled up besides some other workers and the driver motioned to me to get in as I passed them. I assumed he was talking to the other workers but no, he kept following me – even when I turned a corner, at which point I was getting quite terrified. The driver pulled up on the far side of the road and motioned to me to get in again. At that point I walked far more quickly into the tube station and fortunately nothing came of that.

Both times I was 16  years old.

– Anonymous

Location: Hendon, London, UK

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

Classroom Lesson Plan for Download

October 30, 2012 By HKearl

A few weeks ago, I was contacted by Jake Winn, a Peace Corps volunteer and a youth development facilitator in northern Azerbaijan, on the Russian and Georgian borders. He is also a member of Peace Corps Azerbaijan’s WID/GAD (Women in Development/Gender and Development) executive committee.

He said, “Inspired by your ‘Shit Men Say to Men Who Say Shit to Women on the Street,’ some of my male students made their own Anti-Street Harassment video. The title, “Ay Gardash! Kishi Ol!”, can be translated to, ‘Hey man, be a gentleman!” We now plan on distributing the video throughout the country, along with a lesson plan and discussion questions for other volunteers to use with their own students.”

He recently sent me the lesson plan and said Stop Street Harassment readers were welcome to use it!

Download it: Street Harassment Lesson Plan (English) | Street Harassment Lesson Plan (Azerbaijani)

Thanks, Jake!

If anyone else has classroom resources on street harassment they’d be willing to share, please let me know. This site is all about idea and resource sharing.

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Filed Under: male perspective, Resources, street harassment

I Deserve…

October 30, 2012 By HKearl

I love this graphic from the Canada-based group ConsentEd!

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Filed Under: street harassment

“Around the age of 11/12 years old the honking, catcalling, etc, from strangers started”

October 29, 2012 By Contributor

As a young woman, sexual harasment is something I’ve been experiencing since I was very young. Most girls experience it around the age they hit puberty, which is mostly around the age of 12/13 years old. Well, for me, I hit puberty at a very young age, my breasts started to grow and my hips got wider when I was 7/8 years old. My sister experienced the exact same progress going on in her body growing so fast, we got both send to the doctors but they couldn’t find anything. We were exceptions in this case. But there we sat at school, as mini-women who didn’t liked their changing bodies at all.

I didn’t get harassed on the streets back then, but at school. The other kids noticed I had growing breasts; they made fun of me by groping them multiple times or calling me ‘Big Boobs.’ Not only boys would make fun of me, girls would do the same thing. Laughing behind my back with it, gossiping around it (there was this one gossip going around back then that I would have gone to the doctors and had surgery to make sure they wouldn’t grow any bigger anymore) and also groping my breasts as well.

I felt absolutely horrible about having breasts and wide hips at such a young age. Being a 7/8 year old, I should have been enjoying childhood, not having to worry about puberty, and I didn’t feel like a child anymore. And the bullying went on and became worse every year. At the end of Elementary school I didn’t experience harassment anymore since the other girls of my class had grown a good pair of breasts and wide hips themselves, I didn’t felt alone anymore, however- the years there for where a hell to go through.

Once, a girl who was a bit younger than me, got her brother and his friend to insult me and they groped my breasts, walking away laughing, how they liked insulting me with doing such a horrible thing. I went to the director’s office to tell him what happened; a lot of people had seen what was going on, I couldn’t be lying. The man reacted shocked and told me it was absolutely unacceptable for those kids to do something like that to me. But has he ever punished them for what they did to me? No. Did the kids get punished for groping my breasts, laughing in my face for it? No. I didn’t tell my teachers what was going on, but I’m sure they secretly knew I was getting bullied because I was becoming a woman. No one did ever interfere when some kid groped one of my breasts again at the playground. One time the teacher used me as an example to say why I couldn’t breastfeed yet because a boy in my class said: ‘Sophie has breasts, that means she can feed a baby already!’ Why use me as an example for a subject like this?

I also remember the times we went to the swimming pool and I got a lot of stares from kids from other schools. My classmates didn’t ask about it after a while; they were used to it by then. But kids from other schools got curious, they stared at me, pointed fingers at me, laughed with it, you name it. I always hided my breasts behind my arms until I got into the swimming pool, once I got out of the water, they got hidden again.

I will never forget the day my period once came though on a school day, I was 9 years old. Every Friday we went to the swimming pool for swimming class, unfortunately my period came earlier than expected, making me forced not to go swim anymore. Everytime I couldn’t go swim I said to my classmates that I wasn’t feeling well, they didn’t got suspicious since they didn’t knew what menstruation meant. But this time, I was in tears because I looked forward to go swimming and I was in complete shock that my period had come this early. But it was a few months later and one of them knew what it was. The guy told everyone I had my period, in just a few minutes the whole school was aware of my little ‘problem down there’. Then people asked me what a period was, people stared at me, and whispered while I walked by, giving insults, you name it. All that because that ‘time of the month’ came too early for me.

Around the age of 11/12 years old the honking, catcalling, etc from strangers started. The stories about all the street harassment I endured during the years is too much to sum all up, but it made me feel even more horrible about my body and myself. I didn’t understand, I wasn’t provoking anything, I was a child who didn’t wanted this at all. I never asked for this sort of attention, not as a little girl and not as a young woman!

Is this the price I had to pay to be a woman? Breasts getting groped by other kids, gossip going around about me, getting nicknames like ‘Big Boobies’, etc. I had to endure all that because I hit puberty earlier than all the other kids, because I was becoming a woman, and apparently I needed to get punished, as I still get punished by men for walking down the street. I only just realized ever since the sexual harassment-stories are coming up I’ve been sexually harassed ever since I was a little girl.

I wish I could send this story to all the kids who bullied and groped me back then and let them think of all the horrible things they did to me and that they are no better than the men who still honk at me down the streets. Hopefully they became better human beings than they were back then. I really do.

-Sophie

Location: Belgium

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“Spray-painting “I’m a harasser’

October 27, 2012 By HKearl

Quick story via AP about street harassment activism and resistance to it in Egypt yesterday:

“CAIRO (AP) — A group of Egyptian men had a mission for this year’s Eid al-Adha, Islam’s biggest holiday, which began Friday. They wanted to make some effort to stop sexual harassment of women, which in past years has spiked in Cairo during the holiday celebrations with the crowds of rowdy men in the streets.

Their idea was simple: to patrol downtown Cairo and shame men who harass women by cornering them and spray-painting “I’m a harasser” on their backs.

That proved pretty much impossible, however. The small group was outnumbered by boys and men who mocked them, some of them blaming women for bringing harassment by the way they dress.

Gathering on Friday afternoon on Tahrir Square, the epicenter of Egypt’s 2011 revolution, about 20 men — mostly university students — donned neon yellow vests marked “Anti-Harassment.”

They steeled themselves for confrontation with the throngs of young men and boys who had taken to the streets with spending money they received as holiday gifts on the first day of the four-day Eid, or Festival of Sacrifice, celebrated by Muslims worldwide. Many in the crowds were blaring air horns and other holiday noisemakers.

“There’s no solution but grabbing them and trying to stop them,” said organizer Shadi Hussien, 19. “If there were (anti-harassment) laws, we could discuss those. And if the police did their jobs, then we wouldn’t be here.”

Hussien and the group of mostly strangers who he organized through Facebook and Twitter say their effort is a last-ditch attempt at forcing the new Egyptian government to respond to sexual harassment, a reality of daily life for Egyptian women.

Notably, no women showed up to join their group. “No women are coming today, it’s too dangerous,” Hussien said. “They might be attacked.”

The only two women that showed up were Egyptian journalists covering it. “I expect there will be problems today because of this event,” said Aya Dabis of the Egyptian paper The Seventh Day.

In past years, the Eid has seen major instances of harassment, with crowds of young men groping passing women — so heavily that women had to flee into shops, and for days afterward newspapers decried the mob attacks.”

Bravo, to the male allies for taking a stand!

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Filed Under: News stories, street harassment

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