To begin, it’s hard not to blame myself for today’s incident. I was wearing a crop top and a denim skirt that stopped at my knees with a fairly dramatic slit. However, this is South Florida, it’s hot, and I shun the hideous college student uniform of ratty hoodies and gym shorts. At the end of the day, I think I should be able to wear whatever the heck I want. Plus my clothes aren’t an invitation for attention. I put on my clothes to impress myself not some strange dude lurking in the student parking lot.

Anywayyyyyy on with the story. I was walking to my car in the afternoon after class. I see two young men, presumably students, and I veer left to avoid them. I just moved here from Los Angeles so I’m no stranger to the disgusting things men feel empowered to say when they’re loitering with their friends. Of course one of the guys comes up to me and asks me if I can give him a ride home. For obvious reasons I say no. And I continue my walk to my car. He continues to ask two more times as I walk away and I offer a practical solution: “Why don’t you call an Uber?” He then goes on about not having money and at this point I stop because I don’t want this stranger to know which car is mine. He badgers me again and I make an excuse that I’m headed to Starbucks and I can’t help him.

He then completely flips the script and asks for my name and to that I say “I’m good” and walk away as quickly as possible. Fortunately he finally picked up on my lack of interest. I was relieved that he wasn’t close behind when I made it to my car; on the other hand I felt unsafe and uncomfortable.

I’m still confused trying to understand why that’s a tactic for flirting and I’m curious about who the heck that even works on. I wish I didn’t have to worry about instances like this on campus. Why doesn’t the school just host a seminar on harassment and why it’s not okay? Why do we not have heavier security in student parking lots to discourage this kind of behavior?

– J

Location: Palm Beach State College, Boca Raton, FL

Yesterday I was leaving work. I was in a really great mood because my birthday is coming up in just a few days, and my husband and I had planned a weekend getaway, plus, my office had just had our monthly birthday treats/get together for all the birthdays this month. I was floating!

When I leave work, I literally just cross the street then walk up a ramp (about 30-40 feet in length) to get to the bus stop. It is important to note that it is separated from the pedestrian sidewalk by a bike lane, and there is a fence between the bike lane and the bus stop.

Just as I reached the other side of the street and was about to head up the ramp, a street performer who was apparently taking a break yelled at me, “Hey! Hey! I know you know where I can get some…, ” and before he completed his sentence I looked around to see to whom he was speaking. He said to me, “Yeah, you! I’m talking to you! Come here!”

His voice was belittling and demanding. I gave him the, “You’re crazy” side-eye, and continued to walk up the ramp. He yelled after me a few more times, which I ignored, and made it to the ramp hoping my bus would be there soon. The next thing I knew he was standing behind me in the bike lane behind the bus stop. I heard him say, ” What, do I have ‘jerk’ written across my face or something?” I resisted saying yes, and told him I was trying to get to the bus stop. He told me he “just wants to talk to me” and continued to try to get my attention (at this point I’m just looking for my bus).

Finally after another “just want to talk to you” comment, I turned to him and very loudly said, “I don’t want to talk to you!”

Thankfully he walked away at that point. I do not know, nor do I care, what he thought he “knew” I could get. He could have been asking for a recommendation to a good Thai food place for all I care (he wasn’t). His manner and aggression made me fearful. It stole my joy. It brought up abuses that I have experienced in the past, making them weigh on me all over again. I’m concerned he will be back today, although I’ve worked here for months and can’t say I’ve seen him before. Each time this happens, where the harasser has been particularly aggressive, it takes time for me to move on from it. Old wounds are opened. I want to take that power back from them!

– Sarah

Location: Austin, TX

I’m 17 and I was going to yoga class yesterday in union square. I had my mat and yoga pants on. I heard this guy behind my go, “Nice yoga pants baby,” and “They show off that hot bubble butt,” and “I love to watch that jiggle.”

So I started walking really fast but hit a busy intersection. That’s when he came up right next to me and said, “I want to see you shake that pretty little ass baby! When was the last time you got laid? I would do you so hard baby.”

The light changed and I basically ran away. So like two blocks later I thought I lost him. Most harassers I have encountered typically go away when I run. But not him. I heard, “Mmm baby shake that ass” and “I know you want that c*ck” and “Shake it for me you little slut.”

Then he comes passing by my left side and I see he is filming me with his iPhone. I said, “What the f*ck are you doing?”

He put down the phone and said. “Mmmm I’m gonna jerk off to this later,” and he ran around the corner and kept going.

I live in NYC and have been harassed since I was 11 but this was the worst. Is this guy going to post me on some pervert website?

I was so angry sick and scared that I skipped my class and went home to my room. How dare this guy who was like 45 do this to me. Why did he do it? I just don’t understand it. Now I’m scared that I am going to be on a teen candid website with this guy saying filthy things to me and the worst is that he was pointing the camera at my face too. It now even has me looking at these sick sites to see if I am out there somewhere. I feel paranoid and exploited. I did nothing to bring this on and I have no one that I even want to talk to about it.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

More police that are aware of guys like this

– Lilly

Location: Astor Place, NYC