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“Avoiding my silent cry for support”

August 2, 2010 By Contributor

While walking to the train the other day, I noticed a group of young men ahead of me who were standing off to one side of the sidewalk. At this point, there was plenty of room for me to walk by, but once they spotted me approaching, they seemed to all exchange a look and moved to spread themselves across the width of the sidewalk, blocking my path. Once I reached them, I had to attempt to weave my way through. While I was doing this, they started at various volumes to say nasty things to me, some leaning close to hiss in my ear, and one grabbed my butt.

I quickly got past them and continued to hurry to my train stop. The whole experience was infuriating on so many levels. I wanted to lash out at them and to defend myself, but being outnumbered, I felt powerless and concerned for my safety not knowing what else they would do seeing as, clearly, they had no respect for me or my body. Even more frustrating, I was on a busy street and there were plenty of people around. NONE of them responded to the situation or tried to help. Some looked in my direction, but when I met their gaze, they quickly averted their eyes, avoiding my silent cry for support.

It’s incidents like this that have infected my daily life. They have become contributing factors when I’m making decisions about what to wear, if I’ll go somewhere, which route I’ll take, what time of day I’ll be out, etc. I feel as though the right to walk freely in public spaces is one I’ve been denied.

– anonymous

Location: Chicago

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: chicago, sexual harassment, street harassment

Weekly Round Up: August 1, 2010

August 1, 2010 By HKearl

Story Submissions Recap:

I accept street harassment submissions from anywhere in the world. Share your story!

  • Stop Street Harassment Blog: There were 5 stories from contributors in Vancouver, London, Atlanta,  Washington, D.C.,  Delhi.
  • HollaBack Chicago: 2 new stories
  • HollaBack DC!: 9 new stories
  • HollaBackLDN: 9 new stories
  • HollaBack NYC: 5 new stories
  • HollaBack UK: 10 new stories

In the News, On the Blogs:

  • Bitch Media, “Feelin’ Pervy: GQ’s “Pantless Saturdays“
  • UNICEF, “UNICEF supports efforts to end sexual harassment of girls and women in Bangladesh“
  • Men’s Anti-Violence Council’s Blog, “Conversing with the street harasser“
  • Britticisms, “When a girl is a woman“
  • MadCrazies, “I guess my reactions to street harassment are unusual?“
  • Ibn Ibn Battatu, “Hating Hijabs or Badgering Blondes: What’s the Difference?“
  • Clutch Magazine, “Bottom Heavy“
  • Teen Source, “What can a video game do to stop street harassment?“
  • Alas! A Blog, “On ‘Hey Baby’ And The Invisibility Of Managing Sexual Harassment (Invisible To Men, I Mean)“
  • Stop Street Harassment, “Connections between street harassment and sex work“

Announcements:

  • Vote for HollaBack DC! in the Pepsi Refresh Challenge
  • Vote for HollaBack NYC in the Paperless Choice Digital Fundraising Challenge
  • Call for Artists: Women and Mobility in the City Exhibition (via Jagori)
  • RightRides is looking for volunteers in NYC
  • The book Stop Street Harassment is out Aug. 30. Pre-order it today!

10 Street Harassment Tweets from the Week:

  • Mdotwrites Just had a street harassment moment on Rhode Is. + 3rd. I felt Like Oprah in Color Purple right before she goes to jail.
  • ethuiel Is barking the new catcall? Twice or thrice I would shrug, but this is confusing – I thought “woof” applied to dogs, not girls?
  • lpipes just angrily confronted a man who was following me down the street taking pics of me #HARASSMENT/STALKING
  • mmmbutters @blondemonde someone catcalled me from a PROFESSIONAL truck, so I called the number & told their boss.
  • tromano #1 reason I do not miss living in nyc? continuous sexual harassment on the street. continuous http://hollabacknyc.blogspot.com/
  • RENEGADE_C Working downtown equals street harassment. #LeaveMeTheFuckAlone
  • ShelbyKnox Reps from @ihollaback talking about street harassment. Male rep: ” I lived in a different city than female friends…it was a power dynamic”
  • Hkearl Connections between street harassment and sex work http://tinyurl.com/26f7b36
  • KiangaEllis @iHollaback I’m different since reading about you. I believe together we can change the culture. Women will go froth harassment free
  • Chris__Richards Washington ladies: Does DC have the worst street harassment in America? Seems insanely over the top here.

Resource of the Week:

  • The website “A Woman in Cairo” (focuses on public sexual harassment in Cairo)
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Filed Under: hollaback, News stories, Stories, street harassment Tagged With: bitch, GQ, hollaback, street harassment, weekly round up

45-year-old man leers at 14-year-old girl

July 30, 2010 By Contributor

This happened yesterday. I’m a guy in my mid thirties from Delhi. I was standing in a store, waiting for the counter boys to be free from the earlier customers awaiting my turn. This young girl aged about 14 was standing in front of me. She was dressed in dark shorts, which weren’t too short and a red tee which covered everything.

This middle aged man walks in, and while he’s standing in the store he looks the little girl up and down again and again. I felt like giving that old man a tight slap across his face, but did not want to create a scene in the store. After a while they left, but the incident left a very bad taste in my mouth.

That man was about 45 plus and the girl not a day over 14. Now I wish I had slapped that old man!

– Tbg

Location: Delhi, India

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: male perspective, Stories, street harassment Tagged With: eve teasing, sexual harassment, street harassment

The winner of the free book is…

July 29, 2010 By HKearl

Woohoo! We’ve got a winner! 30 people entered their names in a random drawing to win a free, signed copy of my book Stop Street Harassment: Making Public Places Safe & Welcoming for Women (out Aug. 30, 2010). One of my twitter followers @Sebhar is the lucky winner!

How can you read the book if you don’t win?

  • You can pre-order the book on Barnes & Noble or Amazon.com. It will be available Aug. 30.
  • My publisher mainly distributes to libraries, so look for it at a library near you.

I’ll be doing another drawing on Aug. 30 to celebrate the book release, so enter then and maybe you will win!

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Filed Under: street harassment Tagged With: book winner! street harassment

Long hair = lewdness, short hair = rudeness

July 29, 2010 By Contributor

I submitted the Lucky Charms story the other day, and I feel what happened to me today fell in line with what I mentioned with having short hair equals being “ugly” to harassers.

I was really late for work and had overslept, so dealing with that was enough and I wasn’t in the best mood.

I get off the bus at the stop near my job and a homeless man who I’ve seen for the first time yesterday (but who didn’t bother me) was outside again. To everyone else he’s all, “How ya doin’? Spare a little change? Have a nice day!” but when I walked by it’s, “What the hell?! Ugh! Ugly!” and he started making gestures with his hands as if he was “pushing” me to get out of his sight.

Nothing I’d done warranted his nasty comments, so I had to speak up.

“You don’t say rude things to women who are just trying to walk by and get about their day,” I said. “If you want respect, you’ve gotta show people respect. I did nothing to you for you to talk to me like that.”

He got loud and obnoxious and started cursing at me, all the while still trying to put up the facade that he was a nice, harmless man simply wanting some change by saying, “How ya doin’?” and complimenting people who walked by. He was trying to make me the bad guy, and I wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction. I also made sure to get a few photos of him. He turned around and hid his face a few times, so I was lucky I got some shots of his face.

“Why you takin’ my picture?” he asked.

“Because you were rude to me for no reason,” I said.

When he got too obnoxious for me with his cursing I called MPD. He tried to run and hide at the Starbucks, but when I said, “He’s going into Starbucks!” to the dispatch, he walked right out. He tried to walk up the street, but when I mentioned on the phone where he was going, he returned again. Then I thought he was going to chase me so I ran, but relaxed when I saw he stopped. All in all he ended up standing right back where he started and went back to panhandling. Then he tried to act like he was being “nice” to me by telling me, “How ya doin’?” in this sarcastic tone, but I wasn’t falling for it.

I couldn’t wait around to see if the police came, but I hope they did. Of course, my job doesn’t care that I was harassed on the way to work (I informed them that I was late and that I was outside calling the police) because I was late. So I have the stigma of being late to work and the stigma of once again being harassed on me. Great.

As I said before, I’ve been ridiculed (when I do get attention, since the attention I’ve gotten from men on the street has decreased greatly since I cut my hair short) by men who think short hair is masculine. I cannot figure out how changing my hair has drastically changed how I get treated. While I am grateful I no longer get the lewd sexual attention that I used to with long hair, I am not grateful that that lewdness was replaced with rudeness. I feel that black women’s femininity is stereotypically defined as having light skin, being thin and having long hair, and since I no longer have one of those things I no longer “count” as feminine to certain men. I’m glad I’m secure enough in myself to know my value and worth as a woman, but it doesn’t help me feel better about what I went through this morning.

– Anonymous

Location: M Street & Wisconsin Avenue, Georgetown, DC

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: homeless harasser, sexual harassment, street harassment

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