Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

I’m glad they didn’t die…

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Over the weekend in the Washington, DC, area, two women survived attacks by male harassers/assailants in public places.

A man with a knife attacked a woman in Rock Creek Park. She was able to fight back and to use his knife against him to stab his hand. Police are looking for any tips about the assailant. Call the U.S. Park Police at (202) 610-8737.

A man with a gun shot a woman in the ankle after the woman refused to give him her phone number. She was on her way home from a party in southeast Washington, DC, walking with her cousin.

In my blog title, I note that I’m glad they didn’t die. I really am. Other women have not fared so well. For example, two of the three teenagers I blogged about in March who were killed by men in public were running in parks when men raped and murdered them. As another example, last fall, a teenager killed another teenager with a gun after the teen girl refused his advances. And here are some other stories about times when men in public have killed women, often after women refused their advances.

When will it end? When will women be safe in public?

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Leg stroking Metro harasser

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Before I moved to Washington, DC, I was there visiting family. I got on the Metro at the Shady Grove Station. The car was empty except for me and then another man got on the car with me. I did not think anything of it, but he decided to sit right next to me and I thought that was odd considering it was a completely empty car.

He began to talking to me and I made polite conversation. Then he began stroking my bare leg (it was summer and I had on a skirt) and becoming more assertive in his intentions, asking where I was staying and if I was dating anyone. I remember thinking in that moment, that I should hit him, but I became scared, thinking that if I do not disable this person then he is going to harm me and we are trapped on this subway car together and there is nowhere or no one else to run to.

Thankfully, after passing through several stops on the red line going back toward DC more people got on and eventually he got off at a stop. I was left sitting there thankful for the additional people and thankful he did not ride all the way to my stop. To this day I question any person that is too chatty on Metro unless I know that they are a tourist.

– anonymous

Location: Washington, DC

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Don’t call me Sweetheart!

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Just when I thought I could go almost two weeks free of nonsense!

This morning, I left my apartment to head to work and there was a moving truck outside. Three people (two men, one woman) were trying to help the truck park outside the apartment.

I continue walking, and I hear a loud “HAVE A NICE DAY, SWEETHEART!” barked at me. It was one of the moving men.

“Don’t call me sweetheart!” I snapped, not missing a beat.
“I was just trying to tell you have a nice day,” the guy says.

I hate when they do that. The same thing happened with another guy who was in front of Rosslyn Metro a few weeks back. He says the same thing, I had the same response, and his answer was “What? I can’t say hello?”

It’s as if these men are in denial of their actions. Did you not just call me “SWEETHEART” dummies? It’s not the fact that you said “hello” or “have a nice day” to me, it’s the fact that you had to call me “sweetheart” along with it. Do you not remember doing that?

In both instances, when they had “Can’t I just say hello?” or “I’m just trying to tell you to have a nice day!” responses, I responded back with “If you wanted to say ‘hello’ you would’ve just said hello” and “If you just wanted to wish me a nice day, you would’ve just said ‘have a nice day’.” These men are dense beyond reason.

Dear men who feel obliged to tell women they don’t know to have a nice day: Feel free to tell us to have a nice day, but don’t call us “sweetheart,” especially when we don’t know you.

– Tired of Being Harassed

Location: Arlington, VA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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“Don’t shy away – speak out!”

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Lebanese activists work on anti-harassment campaign, image Via Google

“Don’t shy away – speak out” is an anti-sexual harassment campaign launched by activists in Lebanon to address the problem in public places and the workplace.

“Raghida Ghamlouch, a social worker with the non-governmental Lebanese Council to Resist Violence Against Women, said Lebanon’s social fabric does not encourage victims to speak out.

‘Lebanese society is still macho and systematically places the blame on the woman,’ Ghamlouch told AFP.

‘Women are told it is their fault if they hitch a cab off the street, if they are dressed a certain way, if they come home late, and so forth,’ she added.

‘And for women who are adults, it is even worse: They are accused of having deliberately provoked the man.’

Another factor that silences victims are Lebanon’s unjust laws, which do not explicitly consider harassment a crime.

And a convicted rapist in Lebanon is let off the hook if he consents to marry his victim.

‘Even police mock women who come in to their station to file complaints of harassment or domestic violence,’ Hashem said….

‘If the complaints increase, perhaps then the authorities cannot discount it,’ Hashem said. ‘Perhaps then they will see it is a real problem.'”

So clearly the activists have their work cut out for them and their work is very much needed!

It’s crazy how world-wide victim-blaming for gender-based violence is, huh? From Egypt to India to the UK to the US of A and now Lebanon…I am tired of hearing that women are to blame!

Anyway, bravo to the Lebanese activists and may they help break down the culture of victim-blaming and empower women to come forward against harassers.

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Ladies only at all times

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Malaysia is launching “ladies-only” cars on the KTM Komuter train for the Sentul-Port Klang route. Naturally there are pink stickers and banners to designate the cars as ones that are “Ladies only at all times.” And unsurprisingly, this new initiative is in response to men sexually harassing women on the train.

Segregation on public transportation is not a novel idea. In fact it’s becoming a worn out one. Let’s place the blame and the action on the perpetrators, not the women who are the targets! So here are some novel ideas, brought to you by me, off of the top of my head:

  1. Bar men who harass women from riding the trains.
  2. Give men who harass women citations and make them sit in men-wh0-harass-women cars.
  3. Give all women who ride the train mace to use on men who harass them.

In all seriousness though, check out the subway anti-sexual harassment campaigns occurring in Chicago, NYC, and Boston, which do not place the blame or the onus to avoid harassment on women. Let’s have more of that!

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