Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Don’t Grab An Ass Day!!

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HollaBack DC! alerted me to the Facebook event “Grab an Ass Day!” scheduled for tomorrow, Nov. 19.  I looked it up. There are over 20,000 confirmed guests and 4,000 more who are maybe’s. I also found a Facebook group called “National Grab Ass Days” with nearly 300 members.

I hope that the 20,000+ people who say they plan to grab an ass tomorrow are joking and won’t. Because, wow, how inappropriate, how illegal (in many contexts), and how upsetting to the person being grabbed if s/he did not explicitly give their consent.

Regularly reading stories from girls and women who have had traumatic experiences where random men grab their ass and other body parts while they’re in public, like on public transportation, makes me extra not okay with this event. Sure, if you’re among friends and everyone agrees (w/out peer pressure) to do this, whatever, it’s your life. But will people really seek consent before grabbing? And an event like this, portrayed in a light-hearted joking way, detracts from the seriousness of sexual assault and the way it negatively impacts people’s lives.

What would be better than Grab An Ass Day is a Don’t Grab An Ass  Day. Get a huge facebook group of people who vow NOT to grab an ass that day (unless they have consent) and raise awareness about the problem of  unwanted groping and other forms of sexual assault. Hell, why not take it a step further and get people to vow not to commit any form of sexual assault? That would really be a day I could get behind (lol).

(By the way, I posted a message on the Facebook event page saying I hoped people wouldn’t participate and it’s inappropriate etc and someone just sent me a message saying “grab an ass.” No thanks.)

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Dirty schoolboys

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When I was about 16, I was walking around the grounds outside my school and a younger boy (about 14) grabbed me between my legs and had a good feel. I was so ashamed that he’d found out I was having my period that I forgot to punch him in the face. I have never got over letting him get away with it and I never recognised him at school although I probably passed him many times.

– anonymous

Location: Midlands, UK

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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96% of women in Delhi are afraid to be alone in public

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Via Indian Express:

“As many as 82 per cent of women find buses to be the most unsafe place in Delhi and 96 per cent of women feel unsafe to venture out alone, says a survey done by the NGO CEQUIN, or the Centre for Equity and Inclusion.

With sexual harassment in public places on the rise in the Capital, areas like Chandni Chowk, Connaught Place, Karol Bagh and Rohini are deemed the most unsafe localities for women, the study says.

The organisation, run by Sachin Pilot’s wife Sara and Lora Prabhu, said it had formed a working committee that would contact the key stakeholders and form ways to improve the safety of women in Delhi. Prabhu said the survey covered more than 600 respondents, who were asked questions about sexual harassment and their safety in the city.

“We were shocked to hear that women faced the most harassment in crowded places in the city,” Prabhu said.”

I’m shocked to hear that she is shocked. Around the world crowded city streets and packed public transportation are notorious sites for men harassing women. Just two months ago, a “Ladies Special” train service started in four of India’s largest cities to give women some reprieve from male harassment. There are women-only buses in parts of India for the same reason.

Maybe one of these years, after countless more women and girls are harassed by men, governments will decide to tackle the root of the problem – male socialization to harass women – instead of trying halfheartedly to address the problem by separating women from men.

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“They put you in your place”

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Last year I wrote a short list of songs I had heard that mention or address street harassment. My best friend from elementary school just sent me the youtube video for Ani DiFranco’s song “The Story” and it is about street harassment too! Ani articulates the problem well, don’t you think?

“I would have returned your greeting
If it weren’t for the way you were looking at me
This street is not a market
And I am not a commodity
And don’t you find it sad that we can’t even say hello
‘Cause you’re a man
And I am a woman
And the sun is getting low
And there are some places that I can’t go
As a woman I can’t go there
And as a person I don’t care
I don’t go for the hey baby what’s your name
And I’d like to go alone thank you
Just the same

I am up again against
The skin of my guitar
In the window of my life
Looking out through the bars
I am sounding out the silence
Avoiding all the words
I’m afraid I’ve said too much
I’m afraid of who has heard me

And my father, he told me the story
And it was true
For his time
But now the story is different
Maybe I should tell him mine
All the girls line up here
All the boys on the other side
I see your ranks are advancing
I see mine are left behind

I am up again against
The skin of my guitar
In the window of my life
Looking out through the bars
I am sounding out the silence
Avoiding all the words
I’m afraid I can never say enough
I’m afraid no one has heard me

And despite all the balls that I’ve been thrown
And forced to drop
On the social totem pole
I’m preciously close to the top
They put you in your place
And they tell you to behave
But no one can be free
Until we’re all on even grade

And I would have returned your greeting
If it weren’t for the way you were looking at me”

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“When will it end? It’s wearing me out…”

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I go to college in Maryland. I was born with what some would call a “gift”. I am thin, have thick, naturally bright blond hair, huge green eyes, and very large breasts. This is a recipe for disaster. I love myself and my body, but sometimes I find it hard to see myself as anything but a disposable object after the way I am treated.

I wear t shirts to class and stopped wearing makeup. Still, as I walk to class every single day I am verbally harassed. I’ll give an example from today. It was pretty warm today so I wore a jacket with a tank top underneath. For the most part the tank top covered up a lot. Since my chest is pretty big, however, tank tops are a nuisance and I have to pull them up sometimes. As I discreetly pulled it up a bit someone shouted, “PULL THAT BACK DOWN BABY THATS ALL WE WANT TO SEE” from a balcony above.

A few days ago, I was taking the trash to the dumpster. As I waked, a hispanic maintenance man stopped and asked me if I needed help because the bag was extremely heavy. I said thank you and handed him the bag and he hoisted it into the dumpster. His response: ‘YOUR WELCOME SEXY GIRL. MMMMMMM.” as he licked his lips. So I guess having him help me with my trash was a sexual proposition. GREAT.

I work in the mall. Last week I was handing out samples of cheese. I wish I had counted the countless men who referred to me as a “ho” when they thought I was out of earshot, whistled at me, or said “LOOK AT THEM TITTIES” after they had walked about 30 feet away from me.

I get dozens of sexually explicit messages from my fellow college students through social networking sites every weekend. Its funny, all of these men are so quick to say these DISGUSTING sexually explicit things, yet I havent been asked on a formal date in a year…

I’ll end with this. When I was a freshmen, 2 years ago, I went to the nearby supermarket. Some man and his friend approached me and asked me if I knew where batteries were. Before I knew it, one of them proceeded to attempt to “MOTORBOAT” me. I backed up just as his face touched my chest. The worst part was after the men quickly ran away, thinking it was the funniest thing in the world, people around me gave me disgusted looks. It was horrific.

I hope everyone finds their strength and can overcome street harassment. IT NEEDS TO STOP NOW!

– Lala

Location: Maryland

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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